7 So a Druid Walks Into a Warehouse and Finds The Sky

Setting off I started making my way to the warehouse the rat had told me about. It took about an hour to get there since it was in the area. Once I had made it nearby I decided to shape into an Air Elemental since I re-attuned to Air instead of Earth during my long rest.

Turning into my Air Elemental form allowed me to fly so I flew up the supposed gang warehouse and looked in through the windows high up on the building. Inside I saw some men walking around and loading some stuff onto pallets. Men that had firearms and didn't look too reputable.

Sneaking in through a broken open area of one of the windows, thank Gaea I could fit through it due to being an Air Elemental, I flew above the gang members and planned how I would do this.

Flying down behind one of the gang members I wrapped my hand over his mouth and put my other arm around his neck and proceeded to fly upwards with him while choking him out.

Once he went unconscious I lowered him in a dark corner of the warehouse and looked for another gang member. Finding another one who seemed to be alone I floated down and attempted the same as before, however this one pulled his pistol out and started firing at me. All of the guys in the warehouse looked toward me and the floating gang member, I'm not sure which one started it but they all started to aim their guns up at me.

Knowing the guy in my choke hold was about to become swiss cheese I dropped him instead of letting him die and then flew down towards the group of guys shooting at me.

As I charged at them bullets flew straight through me but I was still taking damage just not nearly as much as I would have as a human. Once I had charged in between them one started to run at me with a baseball bat trying to swing it at me.

Before he was about to hit me I cast Thunderwave causing a wave of thunderous force to sweep out from me. Each of the gang members were flung back. Four of the six thugs seemed to have been knocked unconscious from the spell, the other two were starting to get back up and one had a shotgun so I casted Heat Metal on the shotgun which caused the guy to scream out dropping it before it exploded, most likely because it was loaded, catching some of the shrapnel in his leg the guy was out for the count. Seeing that he wasn't dead I turned to the other one with the baseball bat and proceeded to pummel him until he went limp. Seeing the one thug with shrapnel in his leg I decided to throw him a quick Cure Wounds which woke him up so I popped him in the jaw. Man it would be nice to have the Spare the Dying cantrip.

Seeing everyone around me down I destroyed any cameras in the warehouse I could find by flying up to them and ripping them out. Once the cameras were destroyed I changed back into a human and took some rope I got from Klatch and tied up all of the gang members.

Now it's time for every Dungeons and Dragons player's favorite part of an encounter, it's time to loot the place. I had asked Klatch earlier during our long rest what his dimensions were and it seems he is about twice as big as a normal bag of holding, I asked him if he knew how the person who made him exceeded the normal size and he told me that it wasn't his creator who gave him this size but the devil who gave him to me.

Now a normal bag of holding is two feet in diameter and four feet deep, holds 500 pounds, and can not exceed 64 cubic feet. Klatch is double that, meaning I can fit things twice as big, up to 1000 pounds, and 128 cubic feet.

So knowing how much space I had I packed Klatch full of anything of value in the warehouse except the packages of white powder and took one of the cell phones the thugs had to call 911 so I could report this den of drugs.

Leaving no name I pulled out the sim card and walked outside of the warehouse throwing the phone and sim card onto the ground and casting Mold Earth to bury it about 5 feet downward.

Now that I was done here I went into an alleyway and turned into a rat before scurrying back toward the abandoned apartments. I was quite far away from the warehouse before I changed back and started to cast some support spells like Longstrider which increased my speed and Jump which tripled my jump distance.

Going to the side of a building I jumped up the side of it landing on the edge of the roof. Then I began running and jumping across the rooftops as I headed back. I had made my 12th jump before landing next to someone else. Looking at this person I instantly knew who it was since only one person I knew of would be in queens while dressed in a skin tight suit with claws and hair just as white as mine. Looking at her I could see she had bright blue eyes, but I was pretty sure she had green.

"Hey there handsome you wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the gunfire back from where you came from would you?" Black Cat said.

"Nope, I was just doing a little midnight roof jumping and a Black Cat just happened to appear in front of me, hopefully I don't get any bad luck." I replied.

"Aww me giving big ol' you a little trouble, don't worry I promise I'll be a good kitty." She said as she prowled up to me placing her hand on my stomach and slowly moving it upward before continuing. "A real good kitty."

She leaned in and was about to kiss me before I heard a whipping noise and a yelp from her. Rolling away and getting in a combat stance she shook her hand frowning toward me.

Behind me I heard Klatch say. "Master this woman was attempting to steal something from you."

Looking at Black Cat who had heard Klatch, she changed her frown to a smirk before saying. "You can't blame a girl for trying can you?"

"No, I guess not." I said before using the Metamagic Subtle to cast Hold Person without her knowledge. Once I saw her freeze up with only her eyes moving I walked up to her and whispered in her ear. "However, once is enough. If you want to rob some bad guys sometime let me know." I ran to the edge of the building and jumped to the next one I went for about four buildings before I stopped concentration on the spell.

Wonder if she is gonna be angry at me next time we meet.

Once I made it back to the apartments I was about to sort through my loot until Klatch interrupted me. "Master would you like me to activate the S.E.L.F.I.S.H Feature?"

"Selfish?" I replied confused.

"Yes, Master, Start Exchanging Loot For Items Sold by Him. It is a feature granted by the Devil to assist you should you need it. According to the rules of such a feature you must amasse an amount of loot equal to $100,000 before using said feature. You will only have access to items from "D&D" and anything above Uncommon rank will be locked until you unlock special conditions I am not allowed to expose to you Master. Lastly master Items that are under the category Armor, or Weapons have been locked until you complete various Conditions as well." Klatch explained before saying. "You have two available tries if you were to exchange your current loot, Master, leaving you with $5,000 afterwards."

Hmm. I need money to do stuff but, all of this stuff would probably only get me around thirty thousand if I sold it across some pawn shops maybe more, maybe less, but a magic item would be worth way more even if it was common or uncommon. Hell a health potion would probably sell for a crap ton if I could find a place to sell it.

After much consideration (AKA, ten seconds) I decided to try my luck once and save the other money just in case I needed it. I would roll for more loot after the next day if the pigeons info turned out like the rats.

. . . .

FUCK!

All of those drugs I left back there! They could have been exchanged for loot. Should I go back? No the police are prolly swarming the place or they will be by the time I get back. Next time I loot everything no matter whether its legal or not damn it.

"I would like to try the S.E.L.F.I.S.H feature once, Klatch." I said hoping I would get something to relieve my anger at myself for being "good".

"Of course, Master, please select the items you wish to give up." Klatch replied. Then a blueish energy started to form an interface of an inventory in front of Klatch showing what was stored and a description of it. Scrolling through it for a couple of seconds I noted that the bulk of my loot was just stacks of what was "Dirty" cash, how did I know that? It was listed in the cash's description.

Selecting all the firearms and ammo brought me up to twelve thousand and some stuff like jewelry and various bits and bobs brought it to fifteen thousand. The rest I filled with money leaving me only one hundred and five thousand left in dirty cash.

Once the selected items amounted to $100,000 an option to "Gacha" appeared. Pressing down on the button I watched as the blue interface swirled into a bluish portal before spitting out my new item.

Catching the bottle that was spit out and looking at it I knew it was a health potion due to the red glimmering liquid inside, plus the little twine wrapped around the bottle's neck that had a tag read "Potion of Healing".

Looking at it I wondered if it was worth $100,000 I mean it healed the least amongst the potions but it could also bring you back from the literal brink of death. Yeah probably worth it.

After spitting the item out the portal turned back into an interface, however I was done with this for now so I told Klatch. "That's enough for now, Klatch, thank you."

"I live to serve, Master." He replied happily.

Walking back and forth I wondered how I could exchange my dirty money for legal use and I knew of a way but it would take a bit of traveling. Goblins. They would be able to make use of it and I doubt they would care where I got it.

However the only place I know of with Goblins is Gringotts and that is in britain. I may as well head over for now anyways since I can get a start by reading a few books. I wonder if I could get a portkey attuned to my grove?

10 hours passed as I planned on what to do. 8 of them were spent as a Long Rest and the remaining 2 hours were spent scoping out the dock and planning how I would respond in various situations. This time I was not going in as an elemental. Although dangerous I need to not always rely on my elemental form and start using my spells better.

Despite saying that I ended up Wildshaping into a rat since it would seem the dock meeting was starting earlier than the pigeon had said. Climbing up some rope, hanging down the side of the rafters, I watched as two cargo trucks rolled in and some armed men got out before starting to unload the trucks.

This is where I noticed something that made this more dangerous. These men were Shield agents. Then as I listened to them I realized it was way worse these were not only Shield agents but they were Hydra spies and they didn't just have resources they took from Shield, they also had two bound Shield agents. Knowing that Hydra would not get exposed for quite a while I knew the fate of these two agents if I did not save them.

If these were thugs like before I would have experimented on taking them down. If there were no hostages I would just charge them. If they were not Hydra . . . I would let them live.

Crawling over the rafters I placed myself above one of them before changing back and jumping down on to the guard below using my weight to knock him out. Once he was down I immediately casted Barkskin followed by Wall of Thorns targeted on the Hydra agents.

My skin shimmered and I felt it toughen before a few bullets slammed into it bruising instantly instead of being riddled with holes.

Just as the first volley of shots rang out a thick wall of tough, pliable, tangled brush bristling with needle-sharp thorns sprang up from the ground and I must have surprised the hell out of them because not a single one managed to dodge in time. Now Wall of Thorns can kill most normal people in Dungeons and Dragons and sadly most marvel goons are squishy so needless to say they all got shredded to the point of death. They looked like they went into a tornado filled with giant porcupine spines and came out looking like Pinhead.

After seeing that they all the ones in range of Wall of Thorns had died I turned my attention to the remaining three, turning toward them I saw a mass of vines enveloping them and holy crap did I pity these guys they were slowly being crushed to death and poisoned too. Fortunately for them they died of poison a minute later rather than an hour of crushed despair. Going to the one I had knocked out I snapped his neck.

Petting the Assassin Vine once it made its way back to me, I started to loot everything Klatch could fit in himself. Once I had loaded everything up I asked.

"Klatch how many rolls do I have now."

"12 rolls with stored loot, Master."

"Stored loot?"

"Yes, Master, would you like me to store the remaining loot as well?"

Uh, looking around I didn't think I missed anything but. . .

"That would be great, Klatch."

I watched as Klatch went around the room eating corpses stunned. Once he finished he came back to me waiting. Snapping out of my daze I looked at him. Taking this as a question Klatch said. "Master, your rolls are now at 13 would you like to roll now?"

Holy shit dead people count as loot, wait doesn't that mean someone somewhere is using these dead bodies for stuff. What the hell.

" . . . ah no we can do that later." I said. Now was not the time to be S.E.L.F.I.S.H.

Walking over to the trucks and looking inside I was greeted to the sight of two agents of shield bound and blindfolded, at least one was the other had just gotten out of her bindings. Staring at her neither of us moved for a minute and then she just calmly kneeled and said. "Please let me go, Sir."

Blinking I thought about it.

"What about him, are you not gonna ask me to let him go?"

"No. He is with them. He is a traitor."

Just as she finished talking he burst out of his bindings and wielded a dagger aimed at her throat.

"Your goi-"

Before he could finish I casted hold person using Subtle causing him to be paralyzed mid speech. Reaching into Klatch I grabbed a pistol, before walking up and putting three bullets in the fucker.

The female agent looked shocked and a little afraid. Well I don't want to scare her but hydra agents is one thing I will never lose sleep over killing.

"You okay miss?"

Looking up at me she seemed startled that I was talking to her before she just started talking.

"Um . . yeah I'm Skye . . I- I'm with Shield. . well more like a consultant/agent . I think, but I can hack almost anything and I am also a good thief so if you need those things done I can do those or I could just like get you coffee or something and well you seem nice and all so we could probably hang out . . . . either way please don't kill me!"

Looking her over I was surprised as not only did she look different from her tv show self, she was an agent already, but according to the timeline I knew she wasn't supposed to join Shield until after the winter soldier events.

"When did you join Shield and why?" I asked.

"Oh uh . . I was recruited two weeks ago when Shield detected some massive energy signature and couldn't track it down so they brought me in to find out where it was coming from since I am good at pattern recognition and I did, then the next day I woke up in the back of this truck."

"Where did you track the signature to?" I asked not knowing of anything that happened right before the Iron Man movies series of events.

"Right . . um so I tracked it to a park near Ithaca, New York I think the park's name is-" She said before I interrupted. "Buttermilk Falls State Park" Shit she knows about my grove. I mean I prepared myself for this happening eventually but not this fast.

She said two weeks ago, various forces must have felt me being tossed into this universe, the fact that I am alive means they either don't care or couldn't find me. Either way I can't just get rid of her so I think I will just hold on to her for a bit. Not letting the person who knows of my grove go right back to hydra seems like a good idea.

"Okay you are coming with me, I won't hurt you, so just stick with me and I will protect you from hydra. Also I am what you were tasked with finding so, good job." I said.

"Okay I'm not gonna argue with you since I want to live and Shield isn't really that safe for me now. . . . . . . . . . WAIT WHAT!" She shouted.

Frowning at her, for being loud, she covered her mouth before murmuring a sorry and saying. "So you are the one who made the signature, are you an alien or something or maybe a mutant . . . oh you're an escaped experiment aren't you!"

Interrupting her again before she starts off on what kind of experiment was done on me I replied. "I am a human thank you very much, and a Druid. Now come on if they thought they were safe then we are not, safe space then we can talk, deal?"

"Oh right sorry lead the way druidman!"

Shaking my head I led her out of the warehouse on the docks and headed back for the apartments.

It was about half way back she asked. "So by Druid do you mean like a tribal shaman or is it like a religion thing like wiccan?"

"I am a Druid like in D&D." I stated.

"What! You mean like a magic druid that cast spells and can turn into animals and stuff??" She seemed visibly excited.

"Yes."

"Prove it!!"

". . ."

"Please?"

As I was about to cast druid craft on some flowers we were passing by I saw a tree that was shimmering slightly. Looking above it I saw words in druidic saying "Enter Quickly You Are Being Followed". Fuck following what most movies tell you I didn't look back and just said.

"Here let me show you some magic." Grabbing her hand which startled her for a second and heading toward the tree I called out. "Kurama lets go!"

Watching as Kurama appeared from the astral plane and jumped into the tree disappearing. I wrapped my arms around Skye and leaped into the portal before choosing a tree in my grove.

Reappearing in the grove I felt a completeness that I had not noticed I was missing.

"Holy shit . . . magic is real." That was all she got out before she let out everything in her stomach all over me and passed out.

Damn it I really hope Klatch has some spare clothes. Walking into the cave and making sure she was good I headed down to the pond to clean up. While asking Klatch to go ahead and let me select what I wanted to exchange for some rolls. Damn Wizards. Hopefully I can get an item that lets me cast Prestidigitation.