7 Chapter 2.1 THE CHECKUP TO DENIAL

I never minded coming to the doctor’s office, never in my life unlike most people. Until the day I was told what type of wolf I was, then I hated them. That day made my parents wish I was never born so I wished doctors were never born either. Then Zak came around the time I was eight years old. Two years after the blow was delivered. We still had to go to the doctors for checkups to make sure our wolf's growth and ourselves were doing okay.

My parents would just drop me off at the door, never wanting to come inside with me to see how I was doing. ‘Why go in the first place, to see the growth of a wolf you can never shift fucking waste of time.’ The words of my father cut me deeply to this day.

Zak, however, changes it for me, a Vampire here to be a doctor to Werewolves, he would have color books for me, cool games for me to play so I won’t mind coming to the doctor. Zak soon became a man that I can trust, though he didn’t have all the answers to my questions and a way to fix everything he showed me that I can still be loved, he showed me that whatever the diagnosis may be and fixing it can not be done find a way to get through and it keep going.

So, I was excited to see him today. I haven't been to see him since my last pop surprise visit for his birthday right before I turned human. The sad part is my check up was due a few days later. Now here I am coming into the office a month after the whole ordeal. I came to see if maybe there is something to help me get back to me and Zak being alive for over a century can hopefully give me some answers.

“I was surprised to see you were my next patient El, it's good very nice to see you little lady” I smiled at the voice of Zak as he stood in front of me as I sat on the exam cushioned bed.

“Hi Zakaria” I said softly to him, he hates it when his full name is spoken and loves it when you only call him by his nickname. That's why he gave me one, El, when I was young.

“I wasn’t expecting you this soon, considering. How are you?” he asked me in concern.

“It’s hard” I answered, “but I was hoping that maybe you can help, I know that you reviewed my sample by now that I just gave with my blood and cells.”

“Yes, I reviewed them with an extra pair of eyes as well, an old friend you can call her.” He confirms.

“Well?” I probed. Waiting for the answer I so desperately want too hear.

“Eleanor” he started to say but I knew just by my full name I won’t be getting the answer that I hoped for considering he’s been calling me El since he gave me that nickname. Doctors are good with their poker faces but sometimes just by the start of their sentences you can tell when you’re going to get bad news. “I know you came here in hopes for me to help you like I’ve done since you were a child, helped you in any way that you needed but what you were hoping I could find I ended up finding something completely different.”

“Meaning what?” I gasped out in question, “I can’t go back to being a wolf?”

“Eleanor, I know you have been giving yourself some hope, but you do know you can’t go back to being a wolf, she’s dead” he told me carefully.

“Fine, my wolf is dead but I’ll be damn if I stay this way Zakaria, I’m a wolf and if my birth one is dead, I’ll just get another.” I raged out

“Don’t you ever say some shit like that again Eleanor” Zak spat out, “Friends or not Eleanor what you speak of is treason, you know turning humans into wolves is forbidden since the great war.”

“Yes, I know that” without a care in the world, I just don’t care about the stakes right now, I just want to be accepted back within my people. “And I don’t care I just want to be truly with my people.”

“By being a rogue, because that’s the only way, you won’t be accepted within a pack Eleanor so then what? Will it matter for then since you’re a wolf again?” He questions me. “Besides only an Alpha can turn you and no Alpha will besides one who gained by being a rogue and making his own pack or an Alpha who doesn’t care to abide by the laws of your species.”

I spoke no words to that, because I had nothing to say. He’s right, I can’t do that because then I’ll really be cast aside by my people.

“It’s so hard Zakaria” I cried out in pain, noticing my tears. Zak tried to come to me to give me comfort, but I pushed him away. I didn’t want it, I don’t want pity, I hate it.

I jumped down from the medical bed getting myself to my feet to make my leave, “El, you don’t have to leave, okay we can tal..”

“NO!” I yelled, “I will not talk about you and everyone else saying that I’m Human” speed walking to the door of the room to get the hell out of here, I’m angry and Zak is not to blame but will take the outlet of it because I need it someone to just be angry at.

“You may not want to talk about being human but you will want to talk about you being sick.” He softly says to me in a careful way to reach through my anger so I can hear his words, And I did.

“What?” I asked in a shaky voice, stopping my steps from the door, turning to reface Zak.

“Your sick Eleanor and it's bad, have a seat we need to talk about this,” and I did, I sat down and heard everything that he said and there is no way I’m doing any medications or regimes, all that bullshit that human’s do.

I’m sorry Zak, I take everything you say to heart, you're good at your job and I hear all the things you say about what can and cannot be done just like before about my Latean Wolf. But there is no way Zak, no way in hell that I’m dying.