3 Chapter 1.2 ALL ALONE

I’ve never truly known the true meaning behind the word hard, all those times I said it out loud for something so minuscule and easy to do makes me want to turn back and do that instead. Getting up everyday willing yourself to serve others no matter what type of job position it is, can be tiring.

Though what makes it hard, is the people who don’t care about the work, the time and effort you put into it, what makes it hard, is trying to satisfy everyone for all their small stupid needs knowing that sometimes that just can’t be done.

But what truly makes it hard, so hard that I just can’t wait to go off to my room and cry a river of tears from the stress, the fatigue, the constant running around and pestering is the people who used to look at me as one of them as someone else not worthy.

Purposely coming after me as their enjoyment, yet with the other servers everything is just fine. I’m just getting that royal treatment of being a disgrace, it was so bad I was even told not even the humans want me around. I’m just someone cast aside, a second string waiting to just drift away to be gone and forgotten.

I had friends, but when I think about it not the best of friends, they were friends who just allowed me to be there. They belittled me and took advantage and it hurt a lot, but I was okay with it because I had a friend, someone to talk to and ‘hang out’ with given my wolf stature. Now that my wolf is gone, where are they? Apart of those who make my life a living hell.

They have me wishing I never even allowed myself to even communicate with them in the first place because now I’m just embarrassed. They show me everyday how much I played myself as the fool, to think that I mattered to them, was cared by them, will be backed up by them, truly pathetic on my end.

“I’m guessing you’ve been having a tough week?” asked a voice from behind me, startling me from my thoughts. It was a boy, maybe a few years older than I was with wild shaggy black hair, brown eyes that barely showed a care in the world. He has no idea how tough this first week of server for me has been.

“Yes” I was my response, he just scoffed at that and sat next to me at the small table we had in the far corner of the room in the worker ‘mess hall’ if you will, guess you can think of it as the break room I’ve heard humans have at some jobs. All the servers pretty much left, cleaning done and they had a whole list of other things to do before they could truly start the day the way they wanted to.

I on the other hand don’t strive to hurry and finish, what’s the point? Not much waiting for me besides my work now anyways. “Way to hold a conversation” he rebutted, leaning back into his chair letting out a sigh of gratitude, my guess from finally being able to sit after the crazy morning we just had. “Not much of a talker, are you?” he asked me.

“Not much for me to say,” he let out a small chuckle at that response, giving me a full glance before contemplating something in his head.

“I’m young, that I know, but aren’t you too young to be serving here? I thought they really didn’t allow it, those under the age of eighteen.” He is right about that, humans may allow kids at the age of sixteen to start working in their world but mostly in the supernatural it's eighteen, for stature reasons with training and all that comes with being a supernatural creature.

“You’re just full of questions” was my vague response to that, no need to answer that question of his considering it’s not his business.

“You can say I’m intrigued,” he shrugged, lifting his shoulders in movement. “I’ve seen you about, you just started right? And you're always quiet and to yourself in the back of the room to never be noticed.”

“Maybe I just like it that way” I scoffed at him getting annoyed by this pointless conversation.

“No, you don’t”

“What makes you say that?” I questioned back with the tick of my jaw from his bold statement.

“Because no one truly does,” he answered, “people can say they have no problem with being alone, but it doesn't mean they like it the way they say they do. Why do you think they look for that favorite blanket or that childhood stuffed animal, and have that favorite picture on their nightstand?”

But I kept quiet at that, really thinking about what he just said, a little intrigued, so I gave him a small shake of my head as I failed to come up with an answer. He just let out a small dead laugh in response to go with his words “for company, to just be there”

“Are you speaking truly from yourself, for your experience?” I asked him.

“Being alone, it’s hard you know, all the rumors swirling around about you with all the servers, us workers made me wonder if you truly felt it, if you feel it but you don’t”

“Clearly you haven’t been paying clear attention” I snapped back, “and what is it to you anyways?”

“I asked the right person, who was willing to spill the truth about the disgraceful girl who lost her wolf. Made me think about myself, where I was until I wasn’t anymore.” He stopped talking then after the small voice of words he just spoke out to me in response deep in thought, my guess something in his past. “They're looking for a foster for yo...”

“They are not, I serve and I stay her in my home” I cut him off in a rush, that stupid fostering crap, I wish that thought will the minds of these people I’m not leaving me home. Shaggy boy here just got a look of understanding across his face laughing to himself in the process.

“When you know the truth of it all, when you come to terms with it all, and you will and it will fucking suck trust me on that, look for you me I know they’ll foster you in, considering you can make a suggestion if something is presented.” He tells me, but I just look at him annoyed clearly, he is not understanding. “That will be the time when you truly feel alone, nothing to tie you here, no person or passion of yours to keep you comfort, I’ll be there.”

“Why would you be there for me? You don’t even know me” I stated.

“A past choice led me to truly realize it for myself, then soon made me make a promise, then you showed up and that promise did too, in bright color.”

“I’m not one of your many quests to whatever redemption you may think you need for yourself.” I told him bitterly

“That's good, I wasn’t seeking it anyways, just a promise to a kid I once knew that’s all.” He then stood up from the chair, making his way to leave the table

“What makes you think I’m not alone?” I questioned him quickly

“Your words, to not leave your home, I can see it you still see yourself as one of them yet they could give a damn about you yet you’re holding on trying to find ways to stay rotted to here, this place, the building itself as your company” he answers, but I just let pass through my head as utter crap. What the hell does he know and what stupid promise does he need to keep for some damn kid. “My name is Tyler Morris by the way, just in case. Nice talking to you Eleanor, hopefully you won’t need my offer”

“I won’t” I called out to him as he made his way out of the workers quarters.

“By hearing those two words sadly I think you will” he said then finally made his way out leaving me alone, like I was before peacefully. Taking in nothing but the utter silence surrounding me. Trying to see if maybe there is something for me to do today, make a friend or so to pass by the time.

Yet if that were the case I would’ve left the table already, what the hell does he know anyway. He doesn’t know me, understand what I’m going through, I am alone and he’s an idiot to think I’m not and just peaches in rainbow land over here thinking it won’t go my way, but it will. It’s never too late to start either.

With that final thought to myself I stood from the table and made my way out the quarters. I'll find a way to stay here and be grace-fully welcomed back by my people. Nothing will stop me from doing that, I’m a Werewolf and no one will tell me otherwise.

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