18 SMALL TALK

When my wolf left me to join the other wolves who had passed, they stared, everyone stared. They didn’t speak of it out loud but they spoke of it, of me, the girl of their kind, an embarrassment. I guess it makes them feel superior to me, when in fact it makes them beneath me.

Your stares are known, seen by me, why talk about me through the pack mind link, because you know I can’t hear, please, it makes them pathetic. You're so strong, so powerful the dominant of us speak it out loud, show me no weakness but they can’t and in a way makes me feel powerful.

I laugh at it, I can’t hear them in their minds, I wonder how they’ll feel if they’ve known speaking it out loud wouldn't be a problem either for that I still won’t be able to hear them, well not that clearly anyway.

They stare again, at me as I walk by mocking me, judging me, of course by now the pack knows of the claim that I have made. The first time should’ve been hard and this time, really easy compared, but it wasn’t. I am scared.

They look and I see the emotion of raw hatred in their eyes to claim a bond of that of praise worthy stature. They look as though they want to kill me, they speak to each other through the link yet they let their voices be heard this time for me by not speaking the words verbally but physically and I’m scared.

“Ignore them, it seems they have nothing better to do than judge that of another person”. I let out a sigh as I turned my attention to Alice as she stood before in the open cleaning in the woods in the pack territory.

The clearing in which I thought it would be a good place to go to, to sit and read in the fresh air to get my mind away from everything. What a stupid idea, seems like many of the pack members had the same thought and came out to the clearing as well.

Alice soon then took a seat beside me on my blanket that was underneath me under the shade this big tree provided us. “New book?” she asked me, glancing down at my hands.

I shook my head no in response, “no, an old one.” with a small shrug of her shoulders to my response she then turned her attention back to the pack members who were in their wolf forms running around with the pups. “I wish I kept my mouth shut that day in the office” I spoke out in a sadden tone to Alice, finally willing to tell my bearings and frustration of this mess I caused myself.

“I bet you do” she snorted out turning her attention to me, “but what can you really do about now but just faced the shit you let out for yourself, you were frustrated and upset and you spoke Eleanor, it happens.”

“Yet I wish nothing more than to just turn back time and accept what Daniel offered me of being his mate.” I told her.

Her expression to that was expected, that of shock of the words that came out of my mouth. “What do you mean?”

“Daniel said he would be my mate but I declined, he had a good life you know, the women he fell in love with, kids, I just couldn’t ruin that so I declined it even though I knew he meant every word of it, be with me, being faithful, everything.” I explained to her, “I should’ve said yes”

“That is even worse than saying no” Alice said to me, “yes the rejection would hurt him, but it’s like you would force yourself to be with him, a man who would have undying love for you while you feel nothing because you are bonded to another.”

“Yet I could grow to love him, like he did with his chosen and she him” I exclaimed.

“But in how long, what they have is true, what he feels for her and her for him, the bond that he felt for you, to me he sounds like a noble man to offer that, to be true to his values as a male wolf, but that is obligation who he loves is her.” Alice then shook her head with a small scoffed out chuckle, then soon nodded her head like in some acknowledgment, like she just understood something that she couldn’t before. “And I bet in the end he thanked you for its Eleanor, for him to be with his family.”

He did, he thanked me and told me if I ever needed anything, I knew I could count on him, he’s a noble man indeed, and the Goddess is a bitch for that. I envy his chosen for she has a good one, one that could’ve been mine.

I then turned to look at Alice, and thought to myself ‘she’s older than me’, “Alice, do you have one? A mate?” I asked her curiously.

She tensed a little at my question but soon relaxed her posture once again and gave me a sad but reassuring smile. “It’s complicated, but I’m okay, I understand now.” I sure don’t understand what can mean by that but as long as she is content than what else is there to it.

“So, I heard from a little bird in the wind that you had an audience with Queen Elle” I sighed out in annoyance at those words she had just spoken, fully closing my book turning my full attention to my friend.

“Yes, she requested to see me, sent my brother to get me and everything” with the roll of my eyes that Alice definitely took notice of and gave me that exaggerated look to keep going with my words. “She just wanted to speak to the girl who has lay claimed on her mate, honestly it was a waste of time nothing of importance was even said”

“I highly doubt that Eleanor, she is the queen she must’ve have said something to you of importance” retorted Alice, but I just shrug not really caring of it anyway, it just felt like the mean girl playing higher power over the weak girl really.

“Nope, and even if she did what can its possible mean for me but for another thing to be on my plate, I don’t need to worry about tempered mates but this pending investigation that I’m going through.”

“That is true” nodded in agreement with my words, “with a claim as high as you made you should be definitely worried.”

Anyone would be worried, I don’t know what this investigation will do to me, what the outcome will be, will I still be alive, who will take my life first, the Imprint or the Elders of the investigation.

“Do you believe me Alice?” I questioned her, “do you believe me when I say that I Imprinted on Lucian?” she just looked at me with sorrow, then turned her attention back to the wolves ahead of us in the field, not answering my question.