4 Sometimes, change is needed

And so my friends, this is where we are right now. You might be asking? Seriously? Cut your hair?

I mean, why not? Girls chop it off after a break-up, why can't I? It felt far worse than breaking with some guy.

Casper was not so convinced about my decision. Why should he? Every time I try to decide on something, 5 minutes later, I would chicken out.

What if it won't look good on me? I would be one of those memes where expectations don't always meet reality. Fuck! What if I would end up looking like Diego's cousin or the other girl who Diego smashed?

If you're not familiar, I'm talking about two Diego's here. One is that one cartoon that always asks if we can find the object, even though it's obviously there. Yes, you know who it is, Dora the Explorer.

Well, the other Diego was the one who got so obsessed with saving JFK from the series Umbrella Academy. The girl he shagged could take some shower.

Anyway, I tried to toughen myself a bit and decided that it's time to let go of my dear old hair.

Casper was sitting on a stool beside me and is staring at my reflection as well. I could tell he's also not sure about this spontaneous decision. He gave me the "You better not regret this later" type of look.

I know. I am impulsive, but I feel like this will bring me something new, and I want to set myself free. I don't know why it just felt so right to do this. Maybe I should get a tattoo later?

Too much? Yeah, the tattoo can wait.

Anyway, the hairdresser was standing beside me and was preparing to do my haircut. "How long would you want it to be?" I could sense hesitation in her voice.

I just want it, maybe, an inch before it reaches my shoulders.

"Maybe, just about here." I could hear the gasps of the people at the back. I know. My hair is messy, but it's still a good hair.

"Are you ready?" asked Casper as he took his phone out. "I'm going to record this one. Oooh! It is going to be fun!"

I glared at him. I know he is enjoying it right now.

"I'm just going to close my eyes with this one," I told him as I went to shut my eyes. I don't want to see the process, or I might back out.

I could feel the cold scissors touching the skin of my neck. I held my breath as I listen to every snip the hairdresser made. It was a long 10 minutes. My hands were sweaty, anticipating what I look right now.

Should I add some bangs? Hold that thought I don't need another disaster, Imogen. This one is enough.

I was a little surprised when the heat of the blowdryer hit me. My heart started to race. In just a few minutes, I would see another me, a different me.

Will I recognize her? I'm scared that I might not.

After she smoothed out my hair, the hairdresser removed the protective cape around my shoulder. She dusted off the little pieces that got caught on my clothes.

"You may open your eyes now." She said.

Casper was silent the whole time. I don't know what he's doing or what reaction he has right now. I wanted to know what he thinks before I open my eyes. But on the other hand, I want to see it myself.

Well, here goes nothing. I clenched my fist before opening my eyes. I need to brace myself with whatever I may see in front of the mirror.

One. Two. Three. I counted.

I opened my eyes and immediately got blinded by the lights. It was all blurry at first until I could see the flower vase beside the mirror. I slowly lifted my face to see what I look.

I think I stared at it for so long. "You look different. But it's a good kind of different." Casper interrupted.

My hands went straight to touch my hair. I combed it with my fingers, and it felt weird. My hands, before, would take some time before it could reach the end. Right now, my head also felt light. I felt like I lost so much weight from my head.

I'm not sure if I want to laugh or cry. I can't recognize myself, but it also felt liberating.

While I got lost in my thought, a familiar voice surprised the whole salon.

"What the hell? Andrea? What did you just do to your hair?" Casper called Kataniya earlier while I was having my hair done. He also explained everything, and just like Casper, she got mad about it.

I immediately turned my head towards the source of the voice, and there she was standing 4 feet 11 tall, shaking the whole room with her voice.

"Ops! My bad." I was about to cry, but I ended up laughing. She went closer and then continued, "Well, this is new. How come you did not change your mind in the middle of the haircut?"

"I'm pretty sure that was going to happen," she added. I don't know if I want to push her or just laugh, but she was right. The usual Imogen would have changed her mind a few seconds after making the decision.

But you know what? I'm not mad. It was a first for me. I never thought that I would have the courage to stand on what I chose. Heck, it felt good to do something that I want without anybody telling me.

After paying for the salon fee, the three of us went out and took Casper's car. Everyone was silent.

"I am proud of you today. You don't really have to act strong. It's just us. You can rest for now." with those words from Kataniya, I immediately started sobbing. All the tears that I held earlier came rushing down.

Casper just smiled and continued driving.