3 Coward

Chapter 3

God is in the rain.

My Dad used to tell me that, and right now walking under it made me miss him a whole lot more. I was looking up at the gray pouring sky, walking and thinking at the same time.

Then I tripped.

I stumbled on a rock, and I ended up mudded all over! I had mud all over my hoodie and most of all my face, Great right?! Suddenly, I remembered my Dad in one of his dozens of litany of me and my stupidity. 'Never think while walking, ' I groaned to myself.

I stood up and went under the shelter of a huge Mahogany tree. Good thing Alfonse handed me one of his towels, I know that it's his, cause his name is embroidered on it. He's so boujee that way. I used it to dry myself and decided to ditch the hoodie. 'I better wait here 'til the rain stops,' I told myself.

This is our tree. I looked at the letters engraved on the tree trunk "X+F '' inside a heart. It was his first month gift to me, of us being officially in a relationship.

We were broke in college so he made me this, as a sign of his unwavering love. Childish, but the gesture was the sweetest damn thing I thought then. I couldn't stop myself from grinning. Xed and I had been friends since, well, forever!

And we eventually fell in love. It was cliche. People had been rooting for us. When I found the right person for me, I just knew. He was my person. I never doubted that. He was my other half, the one who complimented my flaws.

I loved him very much. Maybe that's why I was still a mess right then. Because I was always looking for him everywhere I would go, like this tree.

Memories of us laughing and joking at each other as he covered my eyes for the surprises, suddenly came vividly to my memories. Xed was an old soul. He preferred lengthy love letters mailed via postal service, even if he could easily hand them to me by the fence of our houses.

He loved playing his guitar, singing out of tune to classic rock songs we grew up hearing because his Nana would always play it loud on Sunday mornings. And he loved eating everything that I would cook for him during our college days together.

He never had any complaints, even if it's just steamed okra paired with fried fish. We studied at the same University in the city. We had separate dorms. But during the day we spend most of our free times together.

We reviewed together. We were a pair, even if we pursued different careers, him a Mechanical Engineer and me a Nurse. He never saw me as that strong tomboy, people say I am. He saw me as a delicate flower needing protection. And I basked in his manliness.

Xed never had clean cut hair. He always had it long enough to be tied up. Usually he'd have a half tied up hair-do. Girls were drooling over him. But I knew he was mine.

He made it clear to everyone around us. I was his and he only had his eyes on me. It's cheesy but, hey, young love would always be the sweetest, too bad it was cut way too short.

He died at a very young age. He was twenty-five, just newly promoted as one of the head Engineers of a mining company in another province. He was just trying to know a little more about his parents, to feel closer and connected to them somehow.

"Shouldn't you be at home packing?" I heard someone say from the other side of the trunk. It was odd his voice was fairly familiar. Maybe it's one of the local folks?

"I am doing the same thing as you are, mister." I shrugged. Trying to sit comfortably under a huge branch to shield me from the now pouring rain.

"And what is that?" he asked with all malice in his voice. I could imagine him raising an eyebrow.

"DUH! I'm waiting for the rain to stop?!" I muttered, "are you stupid or something." Being irritated, I tried covering my head with the towel Al gave me.

He chuckled, "is that how you speak to people around here? That was very harsh of you." So, he's foriegn. Odd, I know his voice from somewhere. It was very familiar. But I just couldn't point my finger on it.

"No!" I snorted. "That's how I speak to creepy guys like you mister." He laughed harder, which made me kind of nervous! 'Who is this creep anyway? Is he a stalker?' I thought to myself.

"I am not a stalker." He said with a bemused tone as if he heard my thoughts. "And you aren't that beautiful to be stalked upon, especially with all the mud on your face."

I was furious. I unconsciously tried to fix my hair by getting rid of the knots on my pony tail.

'Who is he to tell me that I'm not beautiful?! Okay my appearance might be a bit messy right now, because I don't really care what I wear or even meticulous enough to wear make up. I may wear my hair high in a ponytail or just plain messy but he has no right to say that to my face. Where's the chivalry? Where's the respect?' I was fuming as I thought to myself. Not even realizing that it was odd for him to answer my thoughts.

"I am not judging you okay? You really look like a truck had just hit you." I gave him a loud huff as a reply. He just chuckled.

And then he threw something at me. I caught it. What I saw in the palm of my hand made my chest tighten. "This is…" I couldn't even say it. It was Xed's necklace…his cross necklace engraved with his family name and their emblem.

Xed's family had been from a very old bloodline. All the way from Europe. His mom was half European and Filipino, while his dad was British-American. Both of them died when we were eight years old. "How?" I was puzzled.

"A friend of mine wanted me to give that to you." He said, still standing averted from view. "He told me that he loves you dearly. But you know what happened."

I gripped it tightly in the palms of my hand. I knew exactly what happened. My father had worked together with his parents. The day of their accident, they were on their way to the airport.

Dad was going with him to America because his parents had left him something in the laboratory that they used in the past. "I guess he just wanted you to move on, to forget about him. He's..." he hesitated for a moment but then he said it, "he's dead." The stranger's words disturbed me from my reminiscence.

I couldn't stop my tears from falling. I was pathetic enough to say that I haven't moved on. For the last two years I've been trying to do so, but I couldn't.

"How can you say that?" I was staring at the necklace, all the pent up frustrations and sadness became so heavy in my chest. "Everything around me reminds me of him. And you don't know my pain in all my reminiscence. I can't even move on, without seeing his dead body. I just can't." I finally sobbed silently.

"Don't remember his death, Franchette. Because if you do so, you're only hurting yourself even more. Remember his life." With his words, flashes of my memory with Xed came.

I couldn't help but smile. I remembered his laughter, his beautiful face. The way he held my hand as we walked towards my dorm after a long day of classes. The way he would kiss my forehead because it's the only place he's allowed to kiss me. We never kissed on the lips until he was living for America, the day of his death.

Still shedding my tears, "Knowing Xed…he'll definitely scold me if he sees me moping for him." I grinned, "He's always been patient, even with my endless teasing about his ear piercing since our childhood. Later did I know the real reason behind it. His mom did it before his parents left on their last trip, the one which took their lives."

I remembered the day under this very tree he poured those stories on me. The story about his past and the ones he wanted to happen. this tree was our time machine.

"He's always celebrating his New Year with us. All those years we became best friends. Until he courted me our last year in high school, everyone expected us to end up together. I guess they're never wrong. God…I miss him."

I wiped the tears from my eyes. "Thanks for giving this to me!" I said looking at the guy's direction. But he wasn't there anymore.

Then the creepiest thing happened when a voice almost a whisper said to me,

'Always wear that necklace, it'll make you safe.'

With heart racing I almost screamed as I saw that no one was there where the voice came from. I looked around trying to make sense of it all. But no one was there, not a soul. So, I ended up like a crazy woman running away from the place even if it's still drizzling.

Talk about being a coward.