1 Prologue
03.
Iris cries, her face wet as she clings to her son's broken body. The car is smashed apart, steel beams piercing through the windshield.
Her sweet, brave son smiles at her as the monitors begin to scream, and a rush of her nurses push her out of the room.
She sobs in that hallway, dripping wet from the rain and covered in blood, and deep down she knows her son won't make it.
And when the news of her son's death, her whole world crumbles.
Few days later, Noah brings his lover to Iris's son funeral. The man hugs his lover as she cries softly, murmuring sweet nothings to her.
Iris hates them, because no matter what life it is, Noah and that woman pull towards each other like magnets, like bodies who cannot exist apart.
Iris closes her eyes and pretends that the tears are only for her sweet child.
She thinks he would forgive her for this lie but never would she able to tell the world that her son's father is no other than Noah.
…
07.
Iris had done this, so many times, and he doesn't know what else to do.
She meet Noah's soon-to-be lover eyes in the doorway, Eunice, her face pale as she takes in the scene before her.
(It's not like she's doing something bad.)
As much as she loves the man in her arms.
She would never ever do something that ever harmed him or anyone in a way.
(Noah is still single and as always agrees to spend her first time with him.)
So… It's not like she is cheating at all.
(But later on, he will come to love Eunice more than as friends.)
And so, Iris cherished this times of momentarily bless.
There's a sick feeling of happiness here, because Noah kisses her possessively, eyes focused only on her.
For her it's a terrible and wonderful, the feeling of victory of having these man on her arms even in just a few moments of her life. She doesn't think that she can regret it when
Noah is hers during in this burrowed time.
(As she tries hardly to forget the sound of Eunice strangled cry as she runs away from them.)
Eunice had told the world, she loved Noah but Iris pretends she never knew as before Eunice comes; the world also know she held Noah close to her heart and Noah promises to answer her back as soon as he able to think a proper reply for her love to him.
…
04.
"I'm pregnant." Iris says suddenly as she sat beside Noah.
Noah momentarily pauses from his book reading. "Who? Who dares to impregnate my best friend?" His calm voice echoes at the silent room, his blue eyes promising murder.
Iris merely smile at him, not uttering a word after she delivers the news to him.
Noah doesn't stop asking her who's the father is, but Iris never answered his inquiries.
(She's content to be able to say to him - that she's pregnant even just once.
But never did she will reveal that Noah is the father of her unborn child due to drunken night.)
…
Two months later…
"I'm pregnant."
Iris looks at Noah with a neutral expression. "You're a guy, Noah."
Her best friend laughs. "Well - uh, actually…" He rubs the back of his head in a sheepish manner but his eyes are bright.
Every time Iris stares at his eyes; she can't help but think that Noah's eyes reminds of her - the unreachable skies above and be both enthralled and tormented at the reminder of it.
Iris has a hunch of the situation.
Nevertheless she decides to play along.
She sighs, setting down her book, and stands to walk where Noah stands awkwardly, as he doesn't know how to explain the situation.
"You're not a female, Noah." Iris says playfully. "You can't get pregnant."
"Well, yeah, I know… Um." Noah face reddens, his entire figure glows with excitement. "but I'm having a baby! I'm going to be dad!"
Iris hides her disorient expression by embracing Noah and congratulating him.
Forcing away the hard lump forming in Iris's throat, making her struggle to get next word out.
"Who?" She knows, she knows, in her heart, but she needs to hear Noah says it. Because maybe if it isn't her, if she isn't monopolizing Noah this time around, maybe they can be together…
Bright blue orbs and green ones meet.
"Your sister." One word, and it all it takes needs to tear Noah and her apart.
"Eunice." Iris breathes.
"Yes, Eunice." Noah confirms.
Iris's mind begins to spin, because Eunice's won again, again and again and isn't it her turn again yet? Except Noah is his own being, has his own mind, and Iris has never had the right to say no or intervene -
"I'm happy for you," Iris says, her soul turning numb. She watches Noah smile, radiant and happy. She listens to Noah talk about the baby he will have with Eunice, the house that they've bought, and quietly (so Noah won't hear it, won't notice) breaks inside.
No matter how many times she repeats; she will never get use to this.
(Iris miscarriage just few days Noah deliver the news, Eunice is pregnant.)
…
02.
Iris realizes that she loves her best friend more than she intended.
And she desperately wishes she never have known this unwanted feelings.
…
10.
"I don't deserve you," Noah says, one day.
Iris trades kisses with Noah, straddling his lap. "I don't deserve you as well."
(This one time Iris manages to become a couple with Noah.)
(She wishes desperately it lasts.)
…
But as always, it doesn't.
…
Noah at one time comes home soaked wet with a neutral expression but his eyes can't hide his rage and disgust.
Iris knows it's time.
"My parents have set me up with a girl." Noah went straight on the point.
Iris bites down the tears about to come out.
"Don't," Iris voice cracks, desperate as she kisses Noah hard.
Noah pulls back looks at him, wondering, eyes shining with unconcealed concern and agrees in a rough voice. "All right."
"Don't leave me." (Again.) Iris begs, the colors of her face slowly losing its vigor. "Don't marry her."
"Iris -"
"Don't even meet her," She demands, her voice are edge. Iris's fingers curled into his wet shirt, her eyes down; she has never felt so much like a child.
Noah doesn't say anything, pulling the younger girl to him. He tucks Iris against his chest, big and warm.
A silent promise to her. That's more of a reassuring answer for her.
Noah doesn't meet her, this time frame of repeat.
But as if destined, Iris doesn't get to keep him for long, either.
…
24.
"I wish I never have met you at all."
And so Iris runs away.
…
00.
"Your very existence is a mistake!"
Iris's chest tightens, her throat beginning to close. "You need to be erased from the face of the World!"
Her limbs begin to shake, fingers tightening around her gun.
Hate me more. Hate the monster I'd became. Iris thinks, and swings her gun up to aim at Noah. That's it. Then, I can finally be finished here.
"NOAH!" Iris shouts, eyes burning with unshed tears.
"IRIS!" Noah spits her name, and Iris is ready to let go.
This time, it'll be over for sure.
And Noah and Eunice will be happy together.
…
(The name of 'Iris White' is someone fated to suffer and die; as she was merely cannon fodder of the popular novel called 'Nox's Beloved Flower'.
People both sympathize and despise her character but she's just an extra and so her character been shadowed by both of the male lead and female lead.)
…
Iris died.
And she lived.
But this time it will be different.
As unknown interference will disrupt the flow of fate.
For the gods shall compensate the world's mistake.
And so, the time once more rewound itself.
…
Noah stares at the grave in front of him.
"My lord?"
"Find everything about what happened to Iris." Noah orders with glancing at the figure appeared behind him. "And bring her to me."
"But, my lord, Miss White is…"
"She's still alive."
"Pardon?"
"She's still alive."
The man beside him stares at his boss with bewilderment but doesn't question him further. "As My Lord commands."
Noah remains unresponsive.
The sense of emptiness in his chest continues on, and he can't figure out why.
"I'll find you and this time I won't let you go."
…
End of Prologue
…
