84 Chapter 84 - Rangers of the Confederation

Raindrops raced across Drake's hotel room windows, and he watched them with a peaceful mind. If before he had been surprised by the constant downpour, now he was almost certain of the reason behind it.

Thinking of the Old One he and Higler met, Drake couldn't help but shudder. Even a month later, he still felt fear when he remembered the humungous pressure that he felt that day. It wasn't a skill, but nevertheless, it paralyzed him.

Still, there was something other than fear inside him when Drake remembered the encounter. It was a faint trepidation, as if his heart was skipping a beat. Excitement. From the way Higler had talked, Drake was sure that wasn't the first time the ranger had met an Old One. Just what other amazing situations did rangers find themselves in? As if Drake needed any more incentive to follow that path.

"Hey, Drake! Are you awake?!"

His thoughts were brutally interrupted by someone knocking on the door and calling him. Obviously, the only one who would do that was Satre. Sighing grumpily, he let the boisterous ranger in.

"I am now."

"Hah! Don't act spoiled, kid!"

Inviting herself in, Satre sat on his bed, while Selyes laid at her feet, stretching. Kniivar tried to lick her snout as a greeting, but the Ifere put a claw on her head and delicately pushed the wood-type creature away. Seeing his companion sulking, Drake couldn't help but let out a hearty laugh. Somehow, he felt like he was watching an older sister bullying her younger sibling.

"What's it, Satre?"

"Nothing much. I just figured that, since you seem pretty set on becoming one of us, I would tell you a little about the Rangers of the Confederation. That cool?"

"Oh! Yeah, sure! Please do! Ben never really answered me when I asked before."

"Hahaha! Of course he didn't! That's very much like him."

Chuckling, Satre reached into Drake's fridge, and pulled out two beer bottles. Looking at the labels, she grimaced, then shrugged.

"Gotta make do with what we have."

Without even asking if he wanted it, she opened one of the beverages, and handed it to Drake. He took a sip without much thought. It wasn't actually that bad, at least not when compared to what he drank during his student days. That had been closer to petrol than actual beer.

"So..."

"Yep! For starters, how much do you actually know about us rangers?"

"Uhmm... Not much, I guess. Just about what everyone knows. You act as a law enforcement agency, with a lot fewer restrictions and no affiliation. Also, you don't simply combat common criminals, but anyone from a street rat to corrupt nobles. And..."

"And?"

Satre raised an eyebrow provocatively, making Drake fully aware that she already knew what he was going to say, and yet, she wanted to hear it. He chuckled awkwardly, then steeled his resolve. Avoiding her gaze, he continued.

"Well... This is not exactly what I believe, but... Folk seems to think of rangers as living legends. You can fight ten times your number of enemies, stop armies on your own, are friends with Old Ones, are the chosen of the Mystic Iferes, and so on, so on. Also, you are... Shining knights of justice, punishing evil, and helping the defenseless."

"Haha! People come up with all kinds of things, truly! But, what makes you think we don't fit the bill?"

The ranger had a wide grin on her face, which only dimmed a little when she saw that Drake wasn't smiling with her. The truth was that Satre was playing the part of the fool. Her eyes never left his face, keen on hearing what he had to say. Whatever his answer was, it would have a big impact on whether he could become a ranger or not, although Drake didn't know that.

"You. And Ben."

"Oh?"

"I can believe that you guys are acquaintances with Old Ones, and that you would face armies on your own. Both the rangers I know seem crazy enough to do that. But... I don't think you are the righteous warriors people make you out to be."

This time, Satre didn't conceal her surprise. She leaned forward, elbows on her thighs, beer forgotten. There was a glint in her eyes which Drake didn't miss. Whether it was of anger, amusement, interest, or something else, he didn't know.

"Please continue."

Her tone was scarily neutral, and Drake couldn't help but wonder if he had just pissed her off, and blown his one shot at becoming a ranger. Either way, it was already too late to swallow back his words. Not that he would do that, even if he could. Gulping nervously, he did as she demanded.

"I joined Menoraz Army as a scout, and eliminated an entire squad of Lapidum's special scout unit, the Cleaners. I also killed many of their normal soldiers on the battlefield. I'm sure you know all that, but you didn't comment on any of it."

"Are your words based on just that? They were trying to kill you, so you killed them. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. But that's not something a paladin of justice like a ranger would tolerate, is it? Besides... You and Ben are merciless. Maybe even a little cruel."

"Uhmm? What are you saying?"

"I felt your killing intent... Or whatever that was. If you tell me all that was from killing criminals... I'm sorry, but I can't believe it."

Satre's gaze suddenly sharpened, to the point where Drake felt like he was naked before her. It was an uncomfortable and deeply upsetting feeling, and he felt cold sweat running down his back. Unconsciously, his hand searched for the knife on his belt, before he got a grip of himself and stopped. The movement didn't go unnoticed by the ranger.

She stared intensely at him, not even blinking. Seconds slowly trickled by. Both Frainer and Kniivar had felt the tension in the air, and were standing right next to Drake, albeit slightly confused. Selyes didn't even raise it's head. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Satre nodded.

"You are right."

"I-I... I am?"

"Uhum. Well, and also wrong, but not about that last bit. Indeed, we aren't nice people. Merciless and slightly cruel... That's an apt description of us rangers."

Satre's gaze finally left Drake's face, and wandered around the room, before she settling on the window. Much like he had been doing before, she started watching the raindrops race across the glass panel.

"We live in a cruel world, Drake. Every day, countless creatures die. And rangers... Some people call us heroes, but they are wrong. We don't fight for justice, neither do we defend the weak. That would be a saint's duty."

"Then, what do you do?"

"What we think is right. What leaves us in peace with ourselves. Sometimes, that makes us heroes. Oftentimes it makes us monsters."

There was not a shred of hesitation or embarrassment in Satre's voice. Even though she still wasn't looking directly at him, Drake could see the half of her face which was turned towards him. Her jaw was clenched, and her eye carried unwavering determination.

"All rangers are distinct, Drake. We all have different backgrounds, different stories. If we were anything but rangers, we would probably try to kill each other as soon as we met."

"But you are rangers."

"Yes. Yes we are."

They lapsed into silence for a long while. Drake didn't know what to say, so he could only wait for Satre to continue talking. The woman, on the other hand, seemed to have entered in a daze. He was about to call her when she suddenly turned to him, eyes deep as a still lake.

"Do you know what makes us so? What ties us together, the one thing we all have in common?"

Drake shook his head. He had a slight inkling, but he knew better than to make assumptions. He was realizing that there was much more to the rangers than it met the eye.

"We can't let go of the past. Of the mistakes we made. That's what separates us from the rest."

"Can't let go of the past?"

"Uhum. While others try to forget what hurts them, we don't. We can't. That's why we fight. Not for glory nor fame. Not even for justice. We give our all so the past won't repeat itself. So we won't fail again, won't be late again. The bond we share is one of untold pain and agony, and a promise to never let it happen again. That's what a ranger is."

At that moment, Drake couldn't help but freeze, stunned. What Satre was saying... It wasn't anything deep. It wasn't anything memorable. In fact, it was incomparably arrogant. But Drake understood it. And yet, at the same time, he didn't.

Not letting go of the past... He supposed few, if anyone at all, could let go of their story, painful as it might be. Memories stayed with you, always. Good or bad, they were part of a person. But most people tried to hide from painful memories, while remembering the good ones. Drake was like that too. Or he used to be. Clinging to the happy moments he shared with his mother, and burying the memories of her death deep inside him.

He didn't think there was anything wrong with that. It was normal, and maybe even the correct choice. Wallowing in the mistakes you made would only cause unnecessary suffering. But Drake understood that this wasn't a ranger's way. Be it Higler or Satre, he now just needed to look at them to know they carried a heavy burden. But it was their choice to do so.

His thoughts darted back to the farm. The little girl's expression of pain and horror even in death. Her mother's tear-stained face. The rage he felt when he saw the soldiers who were supposed to protect the family behaving worse than beasts. The sensation of stabbing the soldier repeatedly, even after he was long dead.

That was his heaviest burden. But not the only one. Scarred Jack. The Cleaners. The Association of Riverplate. The Tauron Barbarians. General Lilac and Ruli. Anna and Alex, as well as Scarlet. And the others he didn't even know the names. The small Menoraz Army patrol which was killed when he first met Higler. The two Secret Service agents who were tortured and hanged. And many more. They were all his burdens.

Two months. That was how long it took for him to accumulate this many painful memories. If he really walked this path to the end... Could he do it? Or should he just give up, and go back to Blue Coral City? He could forget about everything, leave it all in the past, and live a happy, worry-free life.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he barely noticed Frainer nudging him. Looking down, he saw that he had clenched his fists so hard his nails had dug into his palms, drawing blood. Taking a deep breath, he opened his hands, and focused on Satre.

"This... This is the only way, isn't it?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. I know plenty of people who went through a lot worse than me, and are still fighting, each in their own ways. But for you... Yes. You are just like us, Drake."

Smiling ever so slightly, Satre put a hand on his shoulder, steadying him, both physically and mentally. She didn't do anything more. She didn't try to talk him into it - or out of it. She didn't talk about the dangers or disadvantages of being a ranger. She knew that for those who truly had the heart for it, none of this mattered.

"I don't know what mistakes you've made, Drake, and I won't ask. This is the only thing you can't question a ranger about, okay? Not letting go of the past doesn't mean we like to have it brought up."

"Uhum... Got it."

Suddenly, Satre grinned, and slapped his shoulder. Drake was startled, but before he could say anything, she grabbed him with one hand, while the other closed into a fist which she thumped into his chest.

"I don't need to ask what your choice is, kid. Hahaha! So, cheer up! And remember: the past is the past. The only path is forward."

// AUTHOR'S THOUGHTS //

Not gonna lie, this was not at all where I was going when I first started writting this draft. it was supposed to be more of an info dump chapter, of them talking about what a ranger is supposed to do, who they are, etc.

However, as it often happens, things took a different turn than what I had planned. Most of the time, I don't even notice I wrote something totally different from what I wanted until I'm finished.

So, instead, you get a heavy af chapter which wasn't supposed to happen until about 50 chapters later in the novel. But, what can you do? I think it fits even better in the storyline than what I first intended to write, and I can't bear to delete it, because it's really, really good (in my opinion).

Please do tell me what you think of it! And don't worry, the info dump chapter will come sooner than later! Hahaha...