Keep It Going

I pull the shard quickly and suction the blood that was gushing out. Slowly, I see the artery that had been punctured.

"Give me the sutures. And you! Come here and hold the suction tube." I point out to the crowd forming near the operation table.

"Yes Doctor Zhu!" I grab the sutures and start to mend the wound back together.

"How do you see what you are doing Doctor Zhu? There is too much blood covering the suture site."

"Memory." The bleeding gradually stops with every movement of my hand.

--

"Good work everyone, please get some rest."

"Us? You should get some rest Doctor Zhu! We basically just stood by as you did all the work."

"That's true, I should get some-"

"Woah!" Everyone yells as I lose my balance. I am quickly caught by Doctor Lu and carried out of the operation room.

"Sarah, you need to be more cautious of your body."

"I'm fine, you can put me down. I just felt a bit light headed, that's all."

He presses his head toward mine and now both of our foreheads are touching.

"That's not all. You know I worry for you constantly and the answer you have given me does not match up to what I have observed." I pull my head away and look elsewhere as he continues to carry me.

"Wait, I haven't notified the family of the condition of the patient."

"She's probably just a Jane Doe as many of the people in the accident were hard to identify with their injuries." Just then, we turn our heads to a little voice that interrupts us.

"Is my Mommy okay?"

"Annie? Where is Mr. Tommy?" I quickly get out of Doctor Lu's grasp.

"Annie! Annie! Where have you been?" Tommy comes and catches up with the little girl.

"Tommy, how did the CT scan come out?"

"It was fine, no major injury to the brain." He pats Annie's head.

"That's very good news Annie!" I turn back to the intern. "And have you found her mother yet?"

"Yes, she has just gotten out of surgery after a puncture to the heart! That's unbelievable! To be stabbed in the heart and come back to life, it should have been an instant death."

"Tommy! I suggest you shut up right now before I cut your tongue out!" I glare at the boy and turn to the little girl next to him.

"Don't listen to him Annie. I personally worked on your Mommy and she is all better now."

She wraps her tiny arms around my legs. "Thank you so much Doctor Zhu."

"It's no problem at all sweetie, just doing my job."

"Annie! Annie!" A voice yells through the quiet ward.

"Grandma!" Annie lets go of me and goes toward the voice. I turn around and fear engulfs me.

Is that Mrs. Chen?

"Ah, are you the doctor that helped my granddaughter? Thank you so much for your efforts. Please let me know anything you may want or need for compensation. Money is no problem."

This situation has placed me under great indenial. Could she really not recognize the girl that she fought with on a daily basis so many years ago? I remember her as if all those things had happened yesterday.

"Yes, I am. I presume the woman coming out of surgery is your... daughter?" I was unsure of her relation to the woman as I had only really known Adam back then.

"You could say that. She is in fact my daughter-in-law."

Daughter-in-law... Could this mean Adam had married and had a child? I remove the shocked look on my face as quickly as it had appeared.

"Your... daughter-in-law is currently resting post surgery and she should wake up pretty soon. I will have someone show you the way." I flag a nurse down and ask her to send Mrs. Chen on her way.

"Before I go, please take my business card. I hope we meet again after all the blessings you have given our family."

The card read "Jade Essence - Elliot Chen". It was indeed the women that had trampled over every piece of self respect I ever possessed. I offer a small smile to the woman as she gives one back while leaving. Never in this lifetime did I ever expect this family to come back into my life, definitely not in this dramatic of a way. Mixed feelings flooded through my brain and I am left wondering more and more.

"Sarah, let's go." Doctor Lu drags me away from where I stood. We eventually get into his car and drive away. At the entrance of my apartment, he walks me up to my door.

"Good night." His stoic face leans down to give me a kiss and I turn my head, recieving a peck on the cheek. He's hurt but he does not show it and turns to leave. I grab his hand and pull him into the dark room.

"Just tonight. Stay with me tonight."

I wrap my arms around him and pull him close to me. He does the same after recovering from his slight shock. I look up into his eyes and see his love and adoration, something I could never give back to him.

"You don't have to say anything Sarah. I already know." With that we entangle ourselves into the sheets and start this toxic cycle all over again.

"I love you Sarah." I hear this but know no words to reply with.

We continue as the night grows darker and we both look endlessly for a warmth that does not exist.

By the time I woke up the following day, it was still dark out. I feel arms wrapped around me and feel nothing but guilt and embarassment. I look at the sleeping figure closely and see nothing but contentment on his face. I face away from him once again as the feeling grows deeper within me. Before I know it, tears are streaming down my face.

I cry for my selfishness and inability to know what is good right in front of me. I still yearn for my foolish one sided love that never involved two people to begin with.