16 Disappointed

Preview : I can't promise anything for our relationship. But for now I will try to at least care about you.

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Dana swallowed his spit with rough. He feels guilty now. The figure in the past who kept pressuring him to act beyond expectations. The past that he didn't want to remember but always forced his mind and heart to remember. An emptiness that demands to always present a figure from the past, which he should have discarded long ago.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in the hospital?" Dana seemed to be pinched when he said his stupid question.

The girl beside him even still looks so weak, her face is even far from cheerful. Pale as if there was no happiness there.

"You made your own girl like this, you bastard!" his heart started to mutiny.

"I've tried. It wasn't me who didn't want to say it, but you chose not to care about me," Jani wasn't crying anymore.

She doesn't want to be labeled a crybaby and even overburden her lover. "Beloved? He just thinks you're a slut, what kind of lover do you mean? And what was that? Overburden? Did you not make a mistake? He just don't care. Stupid!" The demon in her mind started to deny what her inner goddess was talking about.

Dana is like a loser now. The fact that was spoken from the girl beside him was able to make his mind and heart chaotic. Dana couldn't deny that it was a pity to see his own lover is in this such condition now.

The man crouched in front of the girl. Holding both Jani's hands with eyes looking straight for lies there. Nothing. He only found the misery of disappointment that had been emitting from those beautiful eyes. Jani looked into Dana's eyes wide. Her mind was racing. She was ready to accept judgment from Dana, whatever it was. She's tired. Physical, heart and mind are very tired. She didn't know what else to do with Dana. On the other side, a passionate love is still as powerful over her.

"Sorry, I was too cowardly that time. Sorry I didn't listen to all your explanations yesterday. I got carried away with emotion. I thought you thought I was just a game," Dana looked at Jani with a look of regret.

"Is this the true character of you ?" asked Jani boldly.

"What do you mean?" Dana frowned deeply.

"Is this the character of you? Always making assumptions and ignoring me?" her voice grew softer.

Her heart constricted. Her chest was in excruciating pain being treated like this by a man she wished she could trust and take care of.

"I am sorry. I'm sorry for what I've done yesterday. Let's start fixing everything. Hmm?" bargain Dana easily.

"Do you really want to continue this relationship? I… I'm too afraid you will leave me. I was scared from yesterday. I'm just pretending everything will get better," Jani sobbed again.

There was some relief to know that Dana had not made up her mind to leave her. However, there was a slight discomfort she felt. Dana easily pulled Jani out. She doubted Dana's decision. She was also really afraid that Dana wasn't serious about what he said. She was afraid that Dana would pull her heart back one day. And Jani finds it hard to stand constantly with a man like that.

"And indeed everything is fine, right? We are still together and I am not leaving you. Please don't cry anymore," Dana pulled Jani into his arms.

He rubbed her back gently. "Ssshhh, don't cry anymore, we will keep together. I'm sorry," Dana continued to calming Jani.

"Is it true that we will keep together?" Jani let go of Dana's arms only to see the face of the man she loved so much.

Dana didn't answer right away. Jani Still waiting with a frown on her forehead that is getting worse. "Please answer me!" Jani thought.

"I can't promise anything for our relationship. But for now I will try to at least care about you. Forgive me. I only ask one thing from you. Please help me to love you," Dana was serious with his words.

"Okay, if that's what you want, what can I do? I can't easily make you fall in love. I didn't know that you didn't love me. Ahh I forgot that you never said you loved me. Sorry, all this time I was too confident that your kiss at that time meant that you loved me," Jani laughed very badly.

She laughed at herself for believing so much in the man in front of her who was looking at her with a look of she doesn't know… like pity maybe?

"Please don't pity me, I can't be more disappointed than this," she was so disappointed in herself and Dana.

"I'm sorry," was all Dana could say.

With movements as light as cotton, Dana kissed Jani's forehead. Anyone who saw them would think they were a romantic couple, especially Dana. But for Jani, the movement as light as cotton made her even more depressed. The forehead kiss that Dana gave seemed to confirm the man's apology for not loving Jani. He was only interested out of curiosity. That was all Jani had in her mind.

Jani felt an uncomfortable atmosphere. Some of the objects around her seemed to be looking at her with pity. Others seemed to be looking at her while making fun of how stupid the girl seemed. One of the hardest things to do in life is to love without being loved and hope without being expected. Rowing the boat alone against the waves that come and go is not an easy thing to do and Jani takes all the risks alone. Poor Jani.

***

Jani is still sick. Until afternoon she just lay in the room. This morning Dana prepared breakfast for her. Then she said, "I'll order food for you this afternoon, okay? You don't have to go anywhere to get well soon."

Jani just answered "yes," and nodded.

She's still confused about what to do. Everything was too ambiguous for her.

Arjuna is calling…..

"Yes hello?"

"Where are you? Can you go home tomorrow night? Let's have dinner together at home. At the same time, I want to talk about my wedding plan with Netha, how will the event be," Arjuna is like a train when he talks to his sister.

Arjuna was found not guilty and has been released from the rehabilitation center. What a relief for Jani and her father. Right before the wedding plans that have been determined when the proposal first took place.

"Yeah I can. At the same time, I want to stay, I miss home."

"Moreover, why don't you come home so rarely, it's like finding an artist, so difficult," her brother started to nag and managed to make Jani smile.

Ah Jani misses her home. Jani misses her friends. Jani missed chatting and joking like before all this happened.

"Amen, I hope your sister can become an artist, hahaha, well, I'm going to poop. Do you want to come? If not, I'll close it, byeee!" Jani immediately hung up the phone.

Jani isn't hard to find, she's just too busy with her routine that Dana is full of. Until her friends sent messages just to ask her to hang out, but Jani refused. She was still filled with Dana both in her mind and in her heart. She was still asleep yesterday. Until a fact slaps her. She's nothing for him. But it's not Jani if ​​she gave up. She will continue to fight for what is currently hers. For the sake of her heart, she is willing to help the man according to his request to love Jani. She doesn't know how long it will go on.