Saturday Morning Blues

Usually I wake up with a positive attitude ready to get the day started with the sunlight peaking through the thin maroon curtains, and the smell of scrambled eggs and bacons waiting for me in the kitchen. Y'all must be thinking; what made me have a positive attitude everyday? I only have one reasonable answer for that. Everytime I woke up; to a picture of me and my mom at the beach. It was the perfect sunlight hitting our face that reflected off the clear blue ocean causing it to sparkle. It made the ocean so bright as if someone grabbed a rope and swinged it high above on a midnight sky, and pulled the stars down one by one, placing them in the ocean. The fresh breeze swift past by us as our hair flew back revealing the beauty of our eyes. It was the perfect background that god created as a blessing: the perfect sun setting sky. At the bottom of the clouds there was a shade of blue and gray while at the top there was a mixture of yellow and orange. The rest of the sky was pink and purple creating a mixture of symphonies and music of the colors, while the birds sang to the tune creating a peaceful rhythm that even a baby would be at the stage of drowsiness within seconds. The texture of the smooth sand oozing through our toes as I clawed up my nails in order to feel more relaxed. My dad was at the front with his camera, bending down his knees ready to capture the perfect family moment. It was a day to remember. The last moments of happiness. After that day on we never went to the beach, we never watched a sunset, and it was hard for us to keep a smile on our face. "MOM!!!!" "PHOO...HUH...GASP" My whole body started shaking as if an earthquake started in my body. The air around me got tighter and tighter as I tried not blackout. Everything around me got darker and darker except for one spot and that was the picture frame of me and my mom. I tried to scream and yell for my dad but I couldn't speak. Instead a weird wheezing sound came out. I reached out to grab my inhaler that was on the table next to me, beside the lamp. It was a little too far away but I wouldn't give up. My hands were shaking and my whole body was sweaty as if someone poured 10 gallons of water on me. I looked like a person with horrible eye vision looking for her glasses while having a stroke at the same time. I finally managed to grab my inhaler as I shook it 2 times, put it in my mouth, and pressed the top so I could get the medicine to help control my asthma attack. *Gasp...huuuhh!!!* It felt much better to breathe again and to smell the fresh air around me. "HONEY ARE YOU UP YET!" My dad hollered from down stairs. "YH DAD JUST FRESHENING UP!" I lied to him about my asthma attack bc I didn't want him to stress about anything else. He already has so much on his mind that I didn't want to put another trouble on his mind. I'm pretty sure there's no more room in his brain for a whole new set of worries. I pushed off all those depressing thoughts from my mind and freshened up for another lame Saturday morning. "Hello sunshine!!!" Talking to myself with a brazen voice and happy tone in my voice. I put on a pair of headphones and started listening to the song "If You're Happy And You Know;" ready to get the day started. I grabbed my toothbrush and put on some toothpaste as I slid across the restroom floor dancing to the beat of the music, surprised to the fact that I didn't fall inside the toilet. I put on a pair of my favorite dark blue jeans and a crop top with a black jacket over it. Next, I put my hair up in a high ponytail as I took a mirror picture creating a pose. I pulled out my headphones, put my phone in my back pocket, and headed downstairs for breakfast. "Morning Dad!" I said while skipping down stairs. "Hey sweetie! how has your morning been so far?" He asked in a polite manner. "Pretty good so far" I said while pouring a glass of orange juice. "So...U ready for 10th grade huh." He asked while cutting a piece of bacon and plopping it into his mouth. "Hehe... yh sure I guess you could say it like that" A small chuckle came out while cutting the bacon into small pieces. "Hmmm... doesn't sound like you're quite ready." Concerned as he was about my opinion on 10th grade the more quieter he got. "No it's not that. I'm totally ready, but it just seems a lot right now." My voice grew more softer while my head drifted more and more towards the ground. "Hey sweetie look, I understand it's a lot right now after that coincidence, but I'm really proud of you. You're really pushing hard and you're trying. I know highschool can be a lot especially with so much drama around and plus with what happened. I'm grateful to have a daughter like you. Everyday you wake up with a smile on your face and ready to start off the day with a positive mood. I don't think even I could do that, but I also understand that you keep that smile on your face for me because you don't want me to stress about anything. Right? I just don't want you to worry about me. I'll be fine. Just focus on yourself right now." Right when he said that; It felt like as if the world stopped spinning. As if the time just stopped. Was this really my dad? The dad who never even cared about my moods or how I woke up; Is now so concerned about my life. Why is that? I grew more and more quieter as he continued to talk. The more I tried to control these tears from rolling down my cheeks, the more they started to burn behind my eyes. The lump in my throat grew bigger and bigger as my heart shut down. I couldn't hear my heartbeat anymore. The weight on my chest grew heavier and heavier to carry that I wanted to scream for help. The wrinkles in my heart turned into holes while my legs were tied with numbness. I blinked once and a tear rolled down. And another and another. I covered my mouth with my arms trying not to make it obvious, but my dad noticed it. "Hey... I'm so sorry...I- I- didn't think I was gonna...I'm so sorry. Just forget about what I said. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm so sorry for making this perfect Saturday morning a wreck." He said wiping away my tears and trying to calm me down by giving me a comfortable hug. I sniffed and blew on the napkin. "Alright now wipe away those tears and eat u if you want to go to the corner store." I shoved up all the bacon down my throat and quickly grabbed the dirty dishes and placed them in the sink. I put on a pair of black converse and headed out the door. "HEY LORETTA AREN'T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING!!!" My dad hollered from the dining room. "Yeah?" I answered catching the door right on time before it closed. "Your money?" My dad questioned lifting up one brow with a look on his face saying *really* "Oh..he..right...forgot 'bout that." I dashed upstairs and started opening and closing drawers looking for my 20$ bill. "Ah...there you are...muah!!!" I headed downstairs trying to catch up with the movement of my hands running down the rail of the stairs. "BYE DAD!! LOVE YOU!" I hollered while heading out. "LOVE YOU TOO HUN, AND BE CAREFUL!!" *Sighs* "Another Saturday blues just like every week" *small chuckle*