4 4. Into You

I checked her FB details for helping myself to recognize her, but there were none. Her Profile Pic was of some model.

On reaching back to my college, I was busy with my routine schedule, but we kept texting each other during late nights. I realised that we had a lot of things in common.

And then came the college fest season. A three day Fest where students from various colleges participate in various competitions/events and win prizes and also adds a reputation to their college. I was glad when such things happen and I was always excited in meeting some of the talented students from various fields.

It was during this time where I haven't texted her and neither did she. I thought she was busy. Even though when the fest was over, we didn't contact each other. She never gave her number and neither did I. It was only FB that connected us. I was finding somewhat lonely and missing. I didn't know what was going on. I spoke to my friends as the way I was before, but something was missing in my life. The fact that I was off from a relationship for sometime, gave me a mere feeling of being lonely in my room and other times and this affected me.

Then after a week, she messaged me with a casual "Hey". I was delighted the moment it appeared on my laptop's screen, but was also in anger for her not keeping in touch till now. She explained her trip to her long-distance relative during the last few days and how excited was she in meeting them after a long time. I thought as much but the anger in me never kept calm.

"But why are you in anger now?" , She was shocked to see my in that way.

"Nothing...just that I missed you. And I don't know why", I still haven't found a reason to explain it.

"Ok I will tell you the next time I go." , She didn't like my anger.

Then we continued to text each other as before and then she was telling about her family, her college and her routine life.

I asked her about her number so that the next time I could call her and stop this texting business. The real reason was, I hated to text now and then to people as it was becoming more mechanical and my fingers have already started to crimple. She refused to give it, reminding me of one of her last messages "It is better to keep it as a secret." The only thing I wished for is to change my phone to a better version, where I could dictate myself for replying to the messages, instead of typing it.

Then one fine day, on a weekend, she asked me a weird question,

"What are your plans after college?"

"After college, freshen up, have tea, meet my friends and then dinner..." she interrupted me in the middle.

"I meant after your course gets completed"

"My plan is MBA, after my college. If I get placed through campus then I would work for.. .let say about 2-3 years and then pursue MBA" , I was sure about my plan.

"And then after MBA?" , She was curious to know the details.

"After that marry, what else I have got", wanted to know what was going her on her mind.

"Will you be a good husband to your wife", she doesn't know my nature, so I had to explain to her about my routine.

"So apparently she will be happy and I would love to tell her always that... I Love you" , I haven't told these words since my break-up.

"Oh how sweet is that, definitely she will be the lucky one."

And this time, I spilled my beans out, "I Love you", the moment I said that, I felt full.

"You cannot..." and she cut me through it. She didn't message me for almost a month.

On my visit to my home, I narrated the entire thing to Raj and he advised me to stay calm and let her decide about it.

Even Raj was out of his mind when I told him that we only texted, without calling each other.

Then I left for college and waited for another month for her messages on my FB.

"Heya, ...how is she now", was the anxious Raj. "Please God, give me good news"

"You know what, I always used to think of the phrase only one gal...only one love...only one woman. Now there is only she... Everytime on my mind... Round the clock."

"Are you trying to make me crazy or are you seriously in...you know?"

"You know?"

"I am confused.....tell me", I didn't want to ask him directly, because we never had such a topic between us which made me feel embarrassed.

"Do you love her?"

"Its understood, I need not give an answer", this time I was sure of my heart." and she knows it big time. Come on, I have told you these things the last time we met".

"Yeah right, I forgot about that".

Finally after three months, she texted a "Hi".

"Hi.", my mouth was shut to what to reply next.

"How are you, sorry was busy with work," girls should get a PhD to tell such lame excuses.

"Work? Are you serious? You denied me for my proposal. Okay, Just listen to me, even if you deny it, nothing will change and we can be friends. But the problem lies in the part that as we Indians have this little thing named "Hope" (aasha In Hindi) on top of our head that if she says yes, then life would be different."

"Listen carefully, you cannot have any feelings for me in this life nor in future also. Okay, you are becoming a despo the moment a new girl enters your life. So all you need to do is to be calm and find yourself in your calmness."

"Tell me one reason, why I cannot love you,"

"Because, a boy can never be someone's 'sweetheart' so quick. When the right time comes, you will get to know."

Her message sparkled my conscious as my eyes were fixed on the word 'sweetheart'. Is it Palak? Was she behind the messages all this time.

Justin Timberlake's "What comes around, goes round" was on my head the whole night. And I didn't knew when I had slept that night.

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