4 Violet

I am craving his body. I needed him right now. I decided there were too many eyes around for us to be in his car so I made the dumb and torturous decision of making both of us wait until we got to my house.

"Violet don't do this," Mason begged.

"It's just a couple minutes," I said climbing into the front seat.

"How can I focus on the road when my mind in is the passenger seat." He say dramatically.

"Drive fast or be tortured." I say while he starts the ignition.

As soon as we got to my house, he bolted out of the car. I took my keys and fumbled to unlock the door because he wouldn't keep his hands to himself.

"Mason I can't unlock the door if you keep doing this." I laugh.

"But you taste so good." He whispers while nibbling at my neck.

That was motivation enough to hurry up and get this door open. As soon we stepped inside he pins me against the wall. I quickly take my shoes off. He picks me up and takes me to my room. On my way to the room, I lose my top somewhere in the living room. He opens my bedroom door and takes me over to the bed. He doesn't even turn the lights on. He lays me down on my bed and climbs on top. I grab his shirt and rip it off exposing his tanned skin and a tattoo that I have never seen. He continues to kiss me then he finally takes off my pants.

"Mason I've never, you know." I say breathlessly as he stops

"You've never what?" He asks

I look at him and he laughs. Great, I now feel stupid.

"Now you're laughing at me?" I ask

"I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing because the joke you told." He explains.

I sit there quietly for a second. I didn't want to tell him that I am still a virgin out loud, I wanted him to figure it out.

"Oh shit, you really haven't. Meaning I am the first person to ever touch you?" He asks.

I nod. His face grows serious. He leans in and kisses me again. This time it's more passionate and way more meaningful. How can we ever be friends after this? I didn't want this to happen but it feels like I crave it. I love the feeling of his hands all over my body. I love the way he leaves me breathless after every touch. I love him.

He rolls over and pulls me on top of him. I am completely naked but I didn't care. I feel his hard-on through his underwear . It feels nice as I grind against it. Suddenly I find myself pulling of his boxers. I couldn't wait any longer, I wanted this more than anything. He grabs my hand and stops me.

"Wait." He says through kisses. I move my kisses to his neck so he can talk. "I would love to have sex with you" He starts. I nibble at his neck while my hands run through his hair. "Fuck I really want to, but I think we should wait considering it's your first time." He finishes.

I stop and sit up.

"So you don't want to sleep with me?" I ask

"Not tonight. I wanna make it special for you. It's your first time." He says. I whine but he doesn't budge.

"This is special now stop ruining it." I say reaching to his boxers.

"But, wait. I want it to be more romantic. There is nothing more that I would want to do right now but I think we should wait. Plus there are other ways to pleasure me." He tells me

"Like what?" I ask

He looks at his dick and then at me. Then I get what he is hinting at.

"Nope. You won't sleep with me so I'm not doing that." I tell him getting up.

I start searching for something but I don't know what. I try to make it look like a I knew what I was look for but he could see right through me.

"Seriously V?" He asks

"What?" I ask as he steps in front of me.

"You are doing that thing again where you distract yourself from whatever it is you need a distraction from." He says.

"No, I'm not. You don't wanna have sex with me it's fine." I say as he laughs.

"I didn't say anything about not wanting to have sex with you. I want to wait. Let's go take a bath." He says grabbing my hand.

I give in only because I didn't want to be him to have sex with me . He turns the bath water on. Good thing my sister got a new bathtub before she left. This one fits two and has jets. It was like a personal hot tub in my bathroom. He gets undressed and I look away but quickly sneak a peak. Let's just say I liked what I saw. He gets in and signals for me to join him. I drop my robe as he looks at me with satisfaction. I try to sit opposite of him but he pulls me closer so that I am facing the same way he is.

"Are you still mad at me?" He asks.

"No." I lie.

"I just don't want to rush things. We need time to think everything through. Last time we jumped into things, we both got hurt. So for the sake of both of us, let's just take things slow." He explains.

I hate when he is right. We just became friends...or whatever this is so we shouldn't rush back into things. We need to be patient so we can fully recover and become stronger for each other. Now I know he is making progress because the old him would have slept with me then shut down his feelings. Now he is trying to figure them out with me. He is more open and I am falling for him even harder than the first time.

"You mean the world to me." He says kissing me.

***

I never fully understood why Mason and I always ended up this way. It's like somehow the universe wants us together but we keep fighting it because we are both too stubborn. I just can't see us being just friends. That's like asking the world to stop spinning. Whatever we are is perfect right now. We don't need to commit to actually commit if that makes sense. We both know our boundaries, or at least we pretend to know but we aren't like everyone else. We kind of just go with the flow.

For the rest of the week, Mason and I went through a number of emotions together. We fought, and he left. He came back when I was drunk. I would cry and say he hated me then he would tell me to shut up and he would kiss me. We would kiss but nothing else would happen. He says he doesn't want to have sex with me when I'm drunk. I would get mad and then we would make up and go to sleep. It was almost or what seems like almost a day to day pattern which we were always good at.

Sunday night my parents returned home. Mason finally went back home which left me to clean the house up by myself. My mother was in a good mood which was great. I still wonder if she was planning on sending me to that boarding school in England. It's sucks to know that your own mother would even consider that. She never liked me anyway, she always likes my sister way more. Ever since she left, my mom has been even more bitchy than usual. I tried to tell Amanda that this was going to happen. She said that her leaving might bring my mother and me closer. To be going to Medical school all the way in New York, she wasn't the brightest.

Of course, my mother yelled at me within 2.2 seconds of being home.

"You are so lazy. I gave you a week to do all of this and it's still not done right." She complains.

I tune her out and just stare into a blank space. I think about my weekend with Mason which makes me smile.

"You think this is funny?" She asks

"No what," I said snapping back to reality.

"You know what. I am so sick of you. I can't wait till you graduate so you can leave out of my house." She yells

"Honey, can you just calm down?" My dad interferes.

"No. I am so tired of being nice to that disrespectful and disobedient child." She spat.

"What did I do wrong. You're always yelling at me for some stupid reason. You hate seeing me smile because you hate seeing me happy because you are so miserable. I rather you send me to that fucking boarding school than to put up with your shit today or any day." I snap

"That is it, Steven. I have been nice to your daughter for too long." She says.

"Vivian can we not do this right now? Violet can you give us a second." He asks.

"Not like I wanted to be here anyway," I mumble while walking off

I grow confused to why they needed privacy. I get to my room and I text Mason. I wait a couple of minutes but no reply. He must be sleeping. Us being together is very tiring so I leave him alone. I decided to eavesdrop on their conversation. I walk downstairs and stand at the corner.

"Steve I can't keep it in anymore. My daughter is miles away from me and I am stuck with your disobedient child. She isn't like Amanda." My mother whine.

Now we have resorted to disowning one another. Great. Glad she is on the same page as me.

"Vivian you only say that because you found out who her mother is. You knew I had a baby by another woman and now that you know it's Charlotte, you hate the child." He tries to whisper his anger.

What?

"I don't want to be reminded of your love child. You cheated on me and you got her pregnant and I got stuck putting up with Charlotte's child because she decided to walk out. You won't let me send her away so what else am I supposed to do!" She yells the last part.

I am not my mother's child? This can't be true. And who the hell is Charlotte? I am confused. Meaning I have been lied to for 18years of my life? I didn't have to put up with her bitchy attitude or her yelling at me constantly? My father lied to me all these years and just let things happen. He knew I would have walked out of this house years ago if he told me. I walk into the living room to let them know I need an explanation.

"So you were being a bitch to me all these years over a jealous grudge you have with my dad? And you have been keeping this secret from me?" I ask both of them.

"Look what you did Vivian. Sweetheart I am so sorry. I tried to protect you from the truth. I never wanted you to find out like this." He says trying to hug me. I back away.

"N-no. You both are sick. After all these years! All the years of depression, anger, loneliness, and misery I have felt because of this lady and you're telling that another lady is my mother! You made me think this bitch is my mother for eighteen years!" I yell.

"Don't call your mother a bitch." He warns.

"She isn't my fucking mother according to both of you. Charlotte is, you know, the woman who I have no clue about." I yell

"Don't you curse at your father young lady." She tries to warn.

"No fuck you. I fucking hate you, you bitch. I am leaving." I say going to my room.

I lock my door so they can't come in. I hear them tell that if I leave I will never come back. I keep packing my shit. Once I have everything, I break everything including mirrors. I smash pictures that were all lies. I rip up birthday cards from my grandmother who isn't my grandmother. I couldn't live here with a house full of liars. I grab my keys and I go through my window to avoid talking to those liars. I get in my car and drive, I drive with no sense of where I am going. I have no clue where I am. Then, I suddenly remember one specific route. I turn the car around and head to Mason's house.

When I pull into the driveway, I notice a familiar car in his driveway. I remember seeing it at the party then it hits me. It was Vanessa's. That's why he didn't answer, Vanessa was there.