1 CHAPTER 1

"can you tell us something that will get our attention and help you to get the job?" I looked at them one by one while sitting uncomfortably in front of them.

I started talking about my life experiences before I discovered this job. I also mentioned the jobs I had before coming here. they seem to like what I'm saying but they've had a lot of interviews and it looks like I won't be able to get this job.

after the interview they told me to wait for their text. when I left the company, I immediately saw my boyfriend waiting for me. I ran in his direction and hugged him tightly because I really felt that I would not be accepted for the job

"what's wrong?" he asked worriedly, I just shook my head

"I feel like I won't be accepted" I said sadly

"don't say that, you're so good. you're the best" he tried to comfort me but I still didn't feel better.

In the past few days I feel that the sparks and excitement in our relationship are missing, I don't know but I don't feel excitement anymore when he compliments me and when he caresses me.

I suspect him because of his actions, he is no longer my one call away and he often refuses when I ask him to go out.

I can't talk to him sometimes because he says he's busy and doing too much.

I always feel that I'm alone, but it's not like this before, he's always by my side especially when I have a problem and since my parents lost he's always been by my side and sympathizes with me. He's always with me through the challenges in my life.

but now, I don't feel his love anymore, it's like it suddenly disappeared.

he drove me home. Before I could enter he spoke again.

"By the way, I can't go with you tomorrow, because my friends and I are going somewhere, sorry... I'll go with you next time, promise!" I just kept quiet and slowly nodded, I also faked a smile to make him believe that I was fine.

"sure, take care!" I waved to him and went inside and slowly closed the door. I peeked at him through the peephole in my door and saw him jumping for joy. "I don't need a companion, I can go alone" I said with a smile as tears rolled down my cheeks.

it looks like he doesn't want me anymore, he doesn't care about me anymore. he changed.

***

the next day I woke up because my phone rang, my eyes were still closed as I groped where I had put my phone before going to bed last night.

I opened my eyes and sat on my bed before answering the call.

"hello?" I scratched my head because no one answered at first.

a second passed and someone spoke. "hello, is this Allison Dosem?"

"yes" I answered

"oh- this is the company you went to yesterday, I want to congratulate you because you passed the interview and you can start working tomorrow"

"really?!" I shouted and stood up "thank you, thank you. I'll do my best!" He also thanked me and hung up.

I screamed in my room and when I ran out of energy, I had breakfast and got myself ready because I planned to visit my parents' grave.

I went out of my unit and locked the door. while I was waiting for the car, I saw my boyfriend with a girl, I just hid so he wouldn't see me, he looked like he was having a lot of fun. when a taxi came, I got in it and didn't look in their direction, I hope he didn't see me. I sighed deeply when we got away from that place.

I handed the payment to the taxi driver and started walking towards my parent's grave.

I smiled and placed the flower I brought in front of their grave. "hi to my beautiful mother and hello to my handsome father, I missed you both so much. I brought flowers and food, please eat them" I put the favorite food of both of them next to the flower

I just smiled while staring at their grave. "You know, I have found a job. Thank you for guiding me, I just graduated but I was blessed with a job right away. You don't have to worry if I don't have money to buy food again" I laughed a little because I remembered the days when I had almost nothing to eat because I couldn't find a job, but i manage to get a job, and everything went fine when Alex came home from 3 days hanging out with his friends, when he was out of my sight i always feel like i was in trouble. but now I don't expect anything from him because of what he has changed.

I stayed a little longer at the cemetery before deciding to go home. when I got home I fixed my things and a set of clothes to wear tomorrow.

My day went well and I didn't talk to Alex all day because I didn't want to disturb him.

I'm still online and waiting for his text but he hasn't even updated me.

it's painful to see something like that, it makes you weak and you can't even move if you don't have the courage to move, if I don't force my legs to walk then nothing will happen to me there.

I just went to bed and didn't wait for him to text, I'm getting used to that kind of behavior because it's been a while since he started doing something new. I used to cry but now I don't, I'm used to it. I felt a mixture of joy and sadness today.

sometimes I just do things to entertain myself and keep myself away from pain. I don't pay attention to the pain he gives me, sometimes I even drink alone outside and scream in front of the river to reduce the pain I feel. I can only say one thing.

I'm starting to lose feelings for him.

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