3 Seventeenth Streetlight
I sat down on my classroom chair, with my head facing the ceiling and my feet on the table, and began dissecting the situation.
"..."
After a comfortable amount of time, I'm still hesitant about whether or not to go. There could be a hidden agenda.
I'm one of the people who write in the school newspapers, so I'm a possible asset for her. And not only do I not have a single friend in school, but I'm also the most hated person... since I exposed a particular idiot with my power as a journalist.
Most people think I went too far, I have no regrets, but it made me a bigger target. She may be an associate of the guy I exposed. So considering these factors, there are too many uncertainties. Every cell of my body wants to bail on her.
It was too suspicious, and it was too sudden.
|...|
After a few hours, I head home. But, as I walk past the school gate, I found myself staying. My body wasn't cooperating with me.
The devil on my right shoulder is saying I should bail. It's probably nothing special or a setup, but the angel on my left shoulder tells me I should stay. Perhaps something good will happen, and bailing on something you already agreed to isn't right.
As I struggle internally, ten minutes have passed. I sat on a bench and continued to comprehend the situation.
Another ten minutes passed. I'm lost in thought, and it feels like I entered a different dimension in my mind.
Ten minutes passed again, and it's looking hopeless, but I want to wait. My guts are telling me something will happen, either a miracle or a tragedy.
Another ten minutes passed, and at this point, a hopeless situation can't get more hopeless, so I'll wait.
Finally, an hour has passed since classes were dismissed.
I got up from my seat and started my afternoon stroll.
I headed home as if nothing happened. I didn't get my hopes up... because I've been through situations like this. It isn't even an inconvenience, so I'll just shove it off.
|...|
While strolling the streets, I remembered something... I completely forgot! I had to help my parents right after school. I'm supposed to be at home thirty minutes ago with the stuff they wanted me to buy from the store.
They'd be riding in a car heading for the market right now.
My parents are average like me. They're nothing out of the ordinary. But unlike me, they both have something they are good at.
Mother is a great teacher and has an INFINITE amount of stamina for housework and banter, and meanwhile, my old man is an IT nerd and a 14-year-old at heart.
They are functional members of this atrocious society! Both have white wings on their backs, and both have two horns on their heads. To summarize, my parents are heavenly demons I treasure, both of them are why I haven't jumped off a cliff, and like everyone else, I despise them too.
|...|
On my way back home, across the street, I recognize a familiar silhouette...
It's the girl that asked me to wait outside. I'm still puzzled about what happened earlier, so asking out of curiosity shouldn't be a crime, right?
I already knew from the start that there wasn't anything special to what she said. So... using my psychological prowess built on my embarrassing social experience, I came up with a scenario!
I approach her and ask why didn't she come, then she'll say, "listen, I only did that because-"
I'm sure this scenario will happen, so I'm going to get it over with.
|...|
"Uhh... excuse me? Weren't you the one who asked me to wait outside?" I casually asked.
In a flustered manner, she replied, "Oh! It's you? L-Listen, I only did that b-because... it was a joke! Y-Yeah!"
My prediction was correct but, her reason is shockingly stupid...
The way she stutters tell me that was a lie, and I find that reason too stupid, so I'll ask again...
"A joke? That's unreasonable, don't you think?"
"I-It was supposed to be a... a s-setup."
Her body language is entirely different from how she is speaking. This girl speaks with an annoyed tone, but the way she scratches her head and her stuttering tells me she feels sorry.
And I assume that part of what she said was a lie. She did need something from me, but she still needs it. My conclusion is she wanted to set me up, but she felt regret.
"W-Well, Miles... I'll be going now!"
And she hurried away.
Does she think I'm some creep? Probably... like I give a fuck.
I've had my fair share of setups. When these types of events happen, it somehow reminds me of stairs.
To rise to the top, you must use people as a stepping stone. To climb up, you must step down on people.
If you think deep enough, humans are nothing but tools with intelligence and a strong sense of emotion. We use people subconsciously, even those who we "love."
It's hard to accept, but the world was built that way. We utilize people for affection, for money, for comfort, for salary, for work, and for our own satisfaction. A messed-up way of life already part of our nature.
Although everything she said was ludicrous, I can't blame her.
Like me, she is also a product of this rotten society. Every action, every experience, every lesson, and everything she has seen throughout her life led to this choice she made, and she chose a rotten path of roses filled with thorns.
This world and everybody in it are vile and malicious, but I refuse to believe we were born like this. The nature of this planet, a cruel struggle for survival, required every way possible to survive. And that includes manipulating and using people.
|...|
After this shocking yet predicted revelation, nothing changed, so I continued walking home. I wouldn't consider what happened today as a tragedy; it's not even an inconvenience for me.
Mother should be mad that I didn't do what she asked, so I should call father...
"*Ring."
"Hello? Old man? I'm heading home now, and uhh... sorry I wasn't able to buy the groceries... we had club activities."
"Hmm? Club activities on a Sunday? You got laid or what?"
"Dad, this is Miles you're talking to..."
In a provoking tone, my dad replied, "Haha, wuss."
"I'm hanging up now!"
|...|
Isn't he too immature to be an old man?
Anyways, I took a taxi since I'm one lazy motherfucker. And I want to think about my life and daydream while riding a car. It's a hobby for me at this point! There is a certain comfort while doing this.
Constantly moving at a steady and calming pace, enjoying the scenery outside and my favorite part, being under a dim shine of passing lights from streetlights. I don't know why but it feels nostalgic; it brings me back to the moment I was born. It's a mysterious sensation.
Every time I ride a car, I subconsciously count the passing streetlights and reminisce my life.
|...|
The first streetlight passed, I see a month-old baby coming out of the hospital with her mother. I envy her... because she has something that makes you want to wake up the next day.
|...|
The fourth streetlight passed, I see a happy little kid skipping along the sidewalk. That bright smile and his lively appearance tell me something pleasant happened, like making his first friend. I miss being that happy in life... I envy that kid.
|...|
The sixth streetlight passed, I see a kid spacing out from the class. That face and those eyes... they were about to cry, yet nobody notices... no, that's wrong... it seems like no one cares at all. Being young doesn't exempt you from becoming a victim of this good-for-nothing world. I know that from experience.
|...|
The eleventh streetlight passed, I see a kid on the balcony crying to his heart's content. Those tears must be tears of unbearable pain. He must have lost someone important, like a best friend. My condolences if that's the case. All I can do for you is feel sorry.
|...|
The fourteenth streetlight passed, I see someone with an aura similar to mine. An atmosphere of emptiness, void of purpose. A face only someone that has given up on this world would make. A scary coincidence, I'd say.
|...|
The sixteenth streetlight passed, I see a guy my age walking by himself. He seems to be enjoying his time alone, but looking at him closely, he seems uncomfortable or has something in the back of his mind.
Whenever I walk by myself, it feels like I'm standing in front of a mirror and surrounded by speakers. The mirror shows my scar from head to toe, and the speakers shout... the voices... please don't remember!
|...|
The seventeenth streetlight passed, and it's rather strange. Yet again, I've been counting the passing lights.
As I toll, these lights have been telling an oversimplified biography of my life. But... the seventeenth streetlight was different...
Unlike the others, it was barely emitting any fluorescence, and this time, it showed nothing similar to my history.
I just turned seventeen yesterday. Maybe this streetlight is trying to foreshadow an event that would alter my life?
The passing lights have been telling my story so far, and I find it hard to believe it's just a coincidence. This could be fate's way of having fun. Maybe this is just an insult thrown by that bastard, so I guess I'll look around the area of the streetlight.
I opened the taxi window and scanned the area.
|...|
"Holy shi-"
At first glance, it's a disaster. 2 vehicles crashed, and the street light was collateral damage.
That car feels strange... the car looked eerily similar. It feels like I've already been inside of it... I'm getting chills down my spine just thinking about it.
I want to personally investigate... I tried to open the taxi's doors, but it's locked.
"Oi! Kid! Don't go near that..." The driver interrupted.
"Unlock the door, please!"
Thanks for your unconcerned concern Mr. Driver, but it looks a lot like my parent's car, so I'll check it out... not that it'll be what I think it is, right?
It's just a mere coincidence, right? This can't be my parent's car! Fate is just insulting me! I know that bastard is cruel, but it can't be this severe!
My deepest fear is wrapping a dagger around my throat... my fear of losing everything right before my eyes yet powerless to prevent that outcome. So my instincts were right! But I didn't know it was this!
I took a deep breath and cleared my mind. I have to assess the situation!
There are two cars... both took severe damage, but the car that looks similar to my parents is more critical. The other vehicle came from the other side of the road since the barrier separating both paths is broken, so the other car is responsible for the accident because it lost control and ended up on the other side... is my conclusion.
Two minutes have passed since this happened because traffic was fine until two minutes ago. Only a few minutes passed, which means there is still a chance for the victims to survive.
My old man uses this road to drive to the store... this only makes my fear stronger. Both cars are wrecked, but it isn't on fire.
I got out of the taxi.
Step by step, I jaunt towards the car... As I approach the vehicle, it feels as if I walk towards the cliffside, and once I reach the car, I'll be standing at the edge... ready to throw myself into a pit of despair.
If the worst-case scenario on my mind becomes a reality, I don't know if I can handle it. I didn't think it was possible for my already empty life could get more empty... I was wrong.
My old man always told me that something blank can't lose anything, and from that point, the only thing you can do is gain. Right now, I'm not losing hope; I was already hopeless before this happened...
I'm an empty cup being filled with despair. I'm on the edge of the pit everyone falls into.
I'm slowly getting near the wreckage.
There are silhouettes of two bodies! It feels as if I threw myself in that pit. I'll take a step forwa-
Before I could take the step, I heard a recognizable voice whisper... it sent chills down my spine.
"Miles..."
