1st Wish

Waking up to the sound of birds chirping and smiling sleepily as the gentle sunlight bathed my weary face--

--was how I wanted my usual mornings to be.

Actually, it was not the sound of any kinds of birds that woke me up. It was the sound of two people yelling into each others' faces. The daily exchanges between my parents. Loving and soothing, as I wanted to sarcastically say.

I turned my head away from the explosive screech that came directly from outside my bedroom door, and tried to ignore the painful tug inside my chest at the familiar realization that, yes, this was my life.

Waking up to the sounds of awful fights, trying to tune off the awful words, tossing around until there was no where else I could go--That, was how I lived.

Once the fight seemed to cool down, I crawled my way down from the bed and crept slowly to the bathroom across my room. I past the picture of my childhood, standing proudly and smiling widely next to a boy with messy hair, and sighed.

"Sun." His name still tasted like warm memories, mixed with salt.

Sometimes I wondered why I still thought about him when he was not in my life anymore.

It did not mean he died, he just moved away. He never came back.

He was my escape, he was my sanctuary. My best friend.

He left me.

Even though I knew he couldn't disobey his family and stayed here, I still could not help but feel bitter.

I remembered my parents' vicious words this morning and thought quitely, 'I wish I could talk to someone.'

Hey, Sun.

I wish you were here.