4 Chapter 4: Good Morning

LANDON

"You have no idea how exasperated I was. I'm at my wits' end. She wouldn't say a word, it was so frustrating..." Greyson rambled on and on as he paced in front of my desk impatiently. It had only been an hour and a half after I arrived home with Brandon and yet the first thing our youngest brother did was bombard us with the matters happening in the mansion for the past weeks.

I was originally planning on returning to the mansion in the first place and Brandon had some things to settle regarding his new duty as a platoon leader thus even if Greyson didn't send an urgent letter to the capital, the three of us would still end up meeting at home.

"If it was so difficult, why haven't you written earlier?" I answered. "And do sit down. You're making me dizzy," I added with a sigh.

I looked at Greyson whose forehead crinkled as he frowned. He forced himself to sit on the nearby sofa. "Well... I thought I can get everything in order without your help... Since I know both of you are busy," he murmured lowly.

I couldn't help but heave a sigh. Greyson had always been a hard-working child. May it be now or when he was younger, he did everything in his power not to bother his two elder brothers. Despite his mischievous and playful nature, he knows when to take things seriously. He just turned seventeen and hadn't graduated from the Magic Academy yet but he was more reliable than other young men around his age. As the third son, he took it to himself that supporting Brandon and I was his role in the family and the Dukedom. This worried me, especially after Father died.

My younger brothers chose different professions in order to balance out the power of our family and make use of their innate talents at the same time. Embarking on different roads might cause us to drift apart and as the eldest son, I wouldn't want that to happen. After all, we're the only family left to care for each other. Brandon, Greyson and I had always been close since childhood, thus I am confident that I know them best.

I am also confident that it wouldn't take something trivial to make Greyson send an urgent letter and ask us for help. I scowled, remembering the contents of the letter and listening to Greyson's continuous rants. He must have been so stressed. I have never seen him ramble on like this before.

To hear that Ava is causing trouble by attempting suicide multiple times, I have to admit I was surprised. She had always been quiet, perhaps a little too quiet, thus I never expected for her to cause this kind of trouble.

I do not hold fond memories of her for I had always disliked her since she was adopted. During our childhood, it just wouldn't sit right with me that a strange girl was brought in to be our sister. If she was of noble blood, perhaps it would've been a lot better but she was of commoner descent and one that we don't know the origins thereof. She ruined the atmosphere of the mansion with just her existence alone and Father wasn't exactly fond of her either.

No one in the house liked her and I was sure she was aware of that yet she shamelessly stayed and even got herself adopted after Mother died. Father did not want to ignore Mother's last will thus we couldn't have a say in the matter as well. I would say the girl was cunning. Even at her young age, she knew the advantages of staying in a Duke's household.

As I grew older, I learned how to speak less and think more. My general image of Ava was still the same but as the years passed, she did as she was told and stayed out of the way. She didn't even attend social events and merely stayed holed up in her room all the time. If you don't keep her in mind, she might as well not exist. She lived that quietly, thus I didn't mind her existence either.

So why is it that she's acting up right now, I have to admit that I felt strange and also curious.

"And so?" Brandon suddenly said, his rough low voice interrupting my thoughts.

Greyson looked at him, seemingly startled. "What do you mean, brother?"

"And so the brat's trying to kill herself, what of it?" Brandon said, his tone annoyed. His eyebrows were drawn together, the typical sign of him being in an irritable mood. "Look here, Grey... We travelled hours by carriage to get home. I at least want to take a bath before we start discussing anything. You say Ava's trying to die, but she's alive ain't she? I don't see why this is such an urgent matter," he added, his tone careless.

Greyson submitted to silence for a second before opening his mouth again. "Ava may be fine now but she can go berserk anytime. And it's not just her condition that needs immediate handling... News of her behavior had started spreading; some of the servants have been careless enough to say something to people outside the family's service. I tried my best to keep everyone's mouths shut but it was harder than I expected. I had the rumors under control for now, but if this continues, people in high society would start to gossip. It hadn't been long since Eldest Brother inherited the title of Duke. A scandal is the last thing we need," he explained.

Brandon placed a hand under his chin. "I see... That does sound like a pickle but it's not as though we can't do something about it. A simple investigation would help identify the stupid servants who were dumb enough to start the rumors and if worse comes to worst, we can just fire everyone and replace them..." he said and approached Greyson, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You must have been too overwhelmed and misjudged the circumstances, Grey... Rest assured, we'll take care of this matter. I'll also talk some sense to that brat. For now, let your brothers rest. It was a really tiring journey and it had been a long time since we last came home. Cut us some slack, won't you?" Brandon added.

Greyson answered with silence and nodded his head a second later. However, the look on his face clearly implied that he wasn't convinced by Brandon's words. There was something in his expression that I couldn't recognize but in his blue eyes, I could see the traces of concern.

For some reason, I felt that Grey is only using the rumors as a camouflage, and his real objective for reaching out to us is to provide a solution to Ava's suicide attempts. None of the three of us were close to Ava but there was certainly a change that can be sensed from Grey.

All of a sudden, a knock interrupted our discussion. "Young Masters, the Healer, Sir Pearson wishes for an audience," the butler behind the door announced.

Greyson surprisingly got up from the sofa. "Let him in," he said immediately.

"Oi Grey... Weren't you listening to me? I told you to let us rest first," Brandon told him, his tone exasperated.

"Sorry brother..." Greyson said as he composed himself. "Maybe I can talk to Sir Pearson alone in my office. Feel free to rest. I'll tell the servants to prepare a bath and get a head-start on supper," he added to pacify Brandon.

"There's no need... Let's hear what the healer has to say. I'm a tad curious about Ava's condition myself," I told them.

"Well I'm not even the slightest bit interested so let me butt out of this," Brandon replied, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.

"Pardon my intrusion my Lords but may I request that all three young masters stay to hear what I have come to tell?" a soft voice suddenly interrupted from the doorway. As per Greyson's orders, the butler had let the healer inside the room.

We all looked at the direction of the new arrival, dressed in white and gold robes, a color combination only permitted to magicians gifted with light and healing magic. The forest green hair and corn-yellow eyes told me of his lineage, the Radcliffe family who had been in service to the dukedom since olden times. I remembered that Grey mentioned him in the letter, saying that he had been caring for Ava and studying her condition for the past weeks.

I watched as Greyson turned to the healer and introduced him to us before offering a place to sit. "How is she? She hadn't been responding well to the counselling. Was today any different?" he said as soon as I gave my permission for the discussion to continue.

Seeing that there is an audience, Brandon knew that he has to keep his dignity. Thus, he resorted to a sigh and took a seat. "Fine. I'll also hear whatever you say so make it quick," he said.

"Well... I cannot guarantee to Lord Brandon that this would be over quickly for it wasn't actually me who has something to say..." Pearson Radcliffe said before placing something on the table.

The three of us stared at the item. "That's a magic recorder," Brandon remarked.

"Indeed," Pearson said. "And it contains today's counselling session with Lady Ava. After being silent for two weeks, she chose to finally talk to me," he added.

I saw Greyson flinch from his chair and lean forward. "She... talked, you say... Did she really open her mouth and talk?" he murmured.

Brandon glanced at Grey and raised an eyebrow. "She'll talk eventually since she's not mute. I think you're overly exaggerating, Grey... What's gotten into you?"

Upon hearing this, Pearson looked at Brandon and somehow, there was a trace of hostility in his eyes. "I beg to differ Lord Brandon but suicide is a very serious matter. Lord Greyson had witnessed everything with his own eyes thus it's only natural for him to be concerned. After all, it isn't a stranger who tried to kill herself but the lady of this house and the young masters' only sister..." At his last sentence, there was a snap of sarcasm and bitterness in his tone that even Brandon who was usually insensitive of other people's mood did not fail to catch.

Brandon's gray-blue eyes flashed at Pearson's direction. "Are you trying to imply something, Sir Radcliffe?"

"I apologize if I offended you in any way, Lord Brandon. Perhaps you would understand better after listening to this," Pearson said and without another word, casted neutral magic over the recorder.

The sound of magically-amplified voices echoed inside the room. At first it was only Pearson who can be heard but a minute later, Ava began to talk as well.

At the sound of Ava's voice, I didn't fail to see the change in Greyson's sea-blue eyes. There was no doubt about it now... He is indeed worried about Ava, perhaps more than I suspected. I watched him closely while paying attention to the conversation from the magic recorder but pretty soon, I wasn't able to multi-task.

The conversation from the recorder, or rather Ava's one-sided narration, stole all of my focus. Ava's origin which we never bothered to investigate unfolded its secrets one by one.

Being born to a prostitute, escaping a brothel, almost becoming a slave, before succumbing to hunger and death from the cold and starvation... I had no desire to know about the past of our adoptive sister. We knew that she was a commoner but I didn't imagine that her history would be that bad.

Pretty soon, the story centered on her life inside the mansion after being found by our Mother. I had thought even when we were young that Ava was a silent child but I didn't realize that it was us who made her that way.

Her words about our attitude towards her, the lack of care and concern we showed her, just after hearing her say everything herself that I began to recall the old memories.

'The eldest was the best for he only said a few hurtful but otherwise harmless words whenever they meet,' Ava said, her voice not showing an ounce of emotion.

Hurtful but harmless? One by one, memories of my childhood went back to me, specifically the few times that I crossed paths with Ava.

"Move out of the way. Can't you even walk right?"

"Someone give this thing another bath. The smell and filthiness just won't go away after washing once."

"You can't even do this right? Shall I have someone crack that useless skull of yours and have them see if there's a brain inside?"

"Know your place and always stand a meter away from me and my family. Who knows what kind of disease we can catch from you."

I gripped the edge of the desk as the memories came flooding in. 'Harmless'? She said my words were 'harmless'?

Thinking about it, I cannot remember how she looked whenever I say such things to her face. The only expression I could remember of her was her indifferent, blank look, a neutral, almost-dumb expression as if everything she heard just goes inside one ear and out the other.

That expression had always made me dislike her. However, the Ava with the indifferent face was the twelve-year-old her. No matter how much I think about it, I couldn't remember how her face looked like when she was a lot younger.

The story continued and Ava revealed the actions of the servants of the mansion, the neglect and abuse that didn't even spare the food that they served to her. It would've been absurd and I wouldn't have believed it but there was a memory from when I was thirteen that filled a puzzle piece onto the story she told.

I clearly remembered the scene she described for it was that one and only night that Ava said something bad about the food served to her.

It was I who told her off for being picky. I was irritated that a mere commoner implied that the food we eat was mediocre and bad-tasting. Could it be that the food was actually bad? The food she ate with us during those countless meals, only hers was tampered with? How many times? Was it during every meal?

My eyes slightly widened when physical abuse was being narrated.

Scars on her ankles? How ridiculous. Ava wore heels on the day of the ceremony when I inherited the dukedom and...

My own memory interrupted my thoughts.

Ava was indeed wearing heels, but with a pair of white socks. Her feet caught my eye that day and I told her to take them off. She said that she easily gets cold feet and thus she has to wear socks. I didn't question further and let her do as she wished. As for the other times I have seen Ava so far, she always wore long dresses that covered her feet.

I listened to the continuation of the recorder as my thoughts scrambled inside my head. The next passages actually sent shivers down my spine.

Greyson mentioned in his letter that he's afraid that Ava is going crazy. Indeed, she is crazy.

Talking about the feeling of the life draining out of her as 'comfortable'... Talking about absolute freedom with death... Was she so caged inside our house that she thought of freeing herself from it by killing herself?

And what is it about getting married off for the benefit of the family? No one, not even Father, told her about anything like that. Why is she jumping to conclusions by herself and judging a circumstance that wouldn't even happen? The Krauser house never used marriage as a way to gain benefit and power.

'You see, my Lord. Leaving the house was only possible as a corpse!' Ava declared with a voice so crazed that it sent goosebumps all over my body. I wasn't the only one for I saw both Brandon and Greyson stiffen in their seats, their faces indescribable.

Ava continued talking in her crazed tone. She sounded as if she was brainwashed by the devil himself.

'Do you understand now? Living is not an option; only dying is. Dying is Ava's true salvation. I, Ava, would never be at peace without death. Death had always hung before me. I wasn't even supposed to be born at all. I have to die, I want to die, it's my destiny to die. I'm sure everyone else here wants me to die as well.'

Just listening to her is sending me to the edge of my seat, my knuckles white and bloodless from gripping the desk too tightly. Even Brandon looked agitated. Greyson seemed to be taking it worst; his hands were visibly shaking.

'The only time I get to be alone with a person who's not from the mansion is when you talk to me, Sir Pearson. You told me before that you want to help me. You may have thought I wasn't listening but I was. I clearly heard you, dozens of times, that you want to help me. You can certainly help me, Sir Pearson. You're a healer and you prescribe medicine. Surely you can get your hands on a vial of poison.'

"W-what?" Brandon said as if he thought he heard it wrong and leaned forward closer to the recorder. "Did she just say-"

"Shh..." Pearson interrupted. "Just listen," he added, his tone cold.

Brandon was too stunned; he couldn't even react violently to Pearson's rude interruption.

'It doesn't have to be a painless one, I'm not choosy. I can deal with pain, even if it lasts a few hours, even a day. As long as it's lethal and has no antidote.'

My hand slowly flew to my mouth. I couldn't believe what I'm hearing. Was she so desperate... to ask a healer to provide her with a lethal poison?

Before healers can practice their profession, they were made to swear before the historical Light Magic Runes to never use their hands to harm anyone's life. Their blood was etched to the runes and absorbed magically so that the minute a sworn healer goes against the oath; he would lose his magical abilities. To ask Pearson Radcliffe to be an accomplice to her suicide, she might as well be asking him to throw away his own profession. This was general knowledge, and there's no way Ava couldn't have known about it.

Amidst my thoughts, Ava continued talking and there was overwhelming emotion in her tone. She sounded as if she was suffocating inside.

'Please my Lordship... Only you can help me now... It's the first and last request I ever made in my life... Please don't ignore it. Please have pity on me...' she said, the entirety of her being embedded in every word.

"Turn it off..." Greyson said. For the last few seconds, he had been listening with his head down, one hand pressed on his forehead. "I don't want to hear anymore. Just turn it off," he added.

"Just a few more minutes... Please..." Pearson answered.

Pearson doesn't need to buy more time for the last passage came almost immediately.

'This is... the greatest kindness you can ever gift to me, my Lord... I've always been forbidden to cry but for this, I will, so you can see how sincere I am. I am begging you with all my heart and soul... Help me so I can die…'

The trembling and the whimper in her voice was genuine, so much that it called deep into my soul. I thought I never cared about her but that may not be the case. Having known Ava and having lived with her under one house for seven years, she was and still is a part of my life. However, even with all those years, perhaps it was just right at this moment that I have heard her genuine voice. She uttered her last sentence as if it was a dying wish.

That last passage was the final straw for Greyson and it seemed like he really couldn't bear listening anymore thus he lifted a hand to the recorder to turn it off himself. However, Pearson stopped him.

"Please, Lord Greyson. I couldn't remember how I responded to the Lady. Let me listen to my answer first," he told him.

Greyson looked at him and saw the sadness in the golden eyes. He pulled his hand away willingly.

The four of us waited for Pearson's answer but there was only silence from the recorder. Just when Pearson said that he must've not answered at all and just left the room in a daze, his voice reverberated from the recorder.

'I...' he said. In his chair, Pearson sat up stiffly. 'I'll... think about it, my lady...'

After hearing this, Pearson gave a huge sigh and covered his face with his hands. "What did I say to a patient whom I'm supposed to cure? 'I'll think about it'? I'll think about providing her a lethal poison? I must be out of my mind," he audibly scolded himself.

Silence curtained the whole room and none of us could say anything. Then Brandon suddenly broke the ice when he stood up and exclaimed, "How would we know if she's making all these up?"

At his outburst, Pearson seemed to forget everything including rank and status. He stood up in a rage.

"Making it all up? That elaborately-told story of deep pain and neglect? Were you deaf? Didn't you hear the sincerity in her tone? You weren't here during the times that Lady Ava committed suicide. You had no idea how deeply she slit her wrists, the veins were completely severed and even the bones showed!" he exclaimed.

The graphic statement made me wince. Ava doesn't look strong enough to be capable of such a feat thus it can only be said that it was her determination that made it possible for her to damage her own wrists that much.

"She did that not just once but twice," Pearson continued, still raging. "And during the first time I was summoned to heal her, she wasn't dying from delirium or fever, she was actually dying from starvation. Her body was so dehydrated, it showed that she hadn't gotten a sip of water for days. Compared to the things that the servants told me about her eating habits and her sickness, the explanation in her story made more sense as to how her body was reduced to its current state. While it was true that she suffered from a bad case of flu, it was only because no one looked after her that the condition worsened. Forget being able to recover, her body was made even more vulnerable. As a healer, I have studied for years about the anatomy of the human body. I do not doubt my skills. Just by that alone, I know that the lady only spoke of the truth," he said obstinately.

"No. It's a lie. I didn't... I didn't do something so awful..." Brandon remarked as he shook his head. "That day... I did push her but that was just once. I saw the bandage around her ankle so I left her alone," he said dazedly.

"Brandon... You..." I said as I saw the somewhat unfocused glaze in his eyes. He looked disoriented and his words had nothing to do with what Pearson said. It seemed as if he was drowning in a memory that only he could see; a memory that had something to do about the scars on Ava's ankles.

"Stop it," Greyson said. "Don't fight, the two of you. Sir Pearson, please compose yourself," he added but it looked as if he was saying it more to himself than to Pearson.

"Where is she?" Brandon suddenly said, his voice firm. "I won't believe it unless I see those scars for myself," he added, storming out of the room before anyone could stop him.

The three of us hurried after him but his advantage in physical prowess kept us behind. When we reached Ava's room, the door was ajar and inside, there was Brandon and a confused maid. Brandon stood by the foot of her bed. Ava lay on the bed, peacefully sleeping.

I approached Brandon whose expression was unpaintable. He was staring down, directly at the upturned blanket and at Ava's exposed feet.

Despite of myself, the sight made me flinch. It was a much uglier scar than I imagined. It doesn't even look like a scar, more like a patch of melted, deformed flesh stuck onto her ankle. Both her ankles had it and the one on the right was bigger than the left. Brandon was completely silent, just staring at the scars.

Meanwhile, I heard Greyson send the maid away. As soon as the door closed, Brandon spoke.

"Can this... be treated?" he asked.

"A fresh tear in the flesh can be mended by healing magic at once but scars are difficult. An attribute of healing magic is that it utilizes the natural ability of the body to regenerate and speeds up the process using the mana of the healer. But in cases of scars, the regeneration already happened within a long span of time. Scars are dead tissues; they're basically dead flesh. It is impossible to revert it back," Pearson said.

All of a sudden, Pearson bowed before us, kneeling on one knee. "I apologize, my Lords. I know it is not my position to interfere or criticize anything that happens within your family. After talking to Lady Ava this morning, the first thought that came to my head was that the Krauser family and its servants were in cahoots regarding the abuse that the Lady suffered. However, I concluded that there must be a misunderstanding. I know that the three sons of Duke Krauser were upright gentlemen. As someone belonging to the Radcliffe family who had served your clan for generations, my father would say nothing but praises for the three of you. I see no benefit with the Lords giving orders to servants regarding the way they treated the Lady," he said before lifting his head to look at us. "Please do not worry, for everything that I have seen and heard in this mansion would be held in utmost secrecy."

During my training as Father's heir, I understood exactly how harsh hierarchy can be. As someone belonging to a lower house, Pearson Radcliffe was caught in a difficult situation. It was brave of him to have us listen to the contents of the magical recorder. If it were any other person, they would have turned a blind eye to Ava's words and perhaps pass up her condition as mental retardation. We wouldn't have possibly questioned a healer's diagnosis and that would render every word coming from Ava's mouth as her own hallucinations and lies.

It just shows that Sir Pearson felt enough sympathy for Ava to have done what he did. I had heard that Pearson Radcliffe is a very upright person, one who cannot stand any kind of injustice towards a fellow human being, even towards animals. He helped and healed people regardless of their social standing and was often active in voluntary and charitable works.

"Please rise, Sir Pearson..." I told him. "I understand the circumstances and I commend your belief in the proud name of Krauser Dukedom by not judging the situation only through the facts visible to you. I have to admit that as an adoptive daughter and sister, Ava was not regarded fondly within our family. Perhaps it was the trigger for the behavior of the servants to go out of control. Rest assured that we would conduct an investigation among all the servants of the mansion regarding everything that Ava talked about. Each one guilty of harming Ava as well as those who turned a blind eye shall be punished accordingly."

Pearson then rose to his feet and bowed once before standing straight.

"Punishing the servants who harmed her wouldn't exactly help Ava's current condition, would it?" Greyson suddenly said. All of us turned to look at him.

"No... I believe she wouldn't care about it," Pearson answered without beating around the bush. "Lady Ava is focused on just one thing right now and that is to end her life. Clearly, she doesn't care by what means, as long as it would be successful. That is why right now, she's being sedated and only allowed to wake up during counselling and mealtimes. She's a danger to herself..."

I hardened my jaw. Just how horribly did the servants treat her for Ava to be driven to the edge? And to think that Greyson, Brandon and I had a hand to push her to suicide, it was not a pleasant realization.

I glanced at my brothers and seeing their expression, I know that they're thinking the same thoughts. We had a hand in this for being horrible brothers who never treated her as a family member, for not caring about her even a little to the point of turning a blind eye to the improper actions of the servants and for never attempting to get to know her for real. Adopted or not, we had no excuse to treat her the way we did.

Perhaps it is too late to redeem ourselves.

"What can we do to help her?" I asked.

"I believe I don't know, my Lord..." Pearson answered. "As long as Lady Ava is determined to die, nothing we can say or do can make a difference. Persuasion can only be achieved by a person whom she loved and held dear and I'm afraid no one here is qualified for that position. I plan on continuing my daily talks with her, try to get her heart to open just a little. I think that I gained a bit of her trust for she would not tell me about her life and ask me for a favor if she didn't. Perhaps we can start with that but for now, her condition is very, very delicate..."

"She thinks that dying is better... In that case, do we have a right to interfere?" Brandon said suddenly.

"Are you implying we should let her die?" Greyson exclaimed, reacting negatively.

"It's what she wants," Brandon said, looking at Greyson. "And honestly, if I was her, I wouldn't want to see the faces of the three guys who played a role at making my life miserable."

With the truth in his words, both Greyson and I couldn't say anything.

"I admit I was horrible to her. Even right now I care nothing for her. But that was just because I thought she was fine with it... that just like how she means nothing to me, I mean nothing to her. I did use her as a scapegoat when we were young. She was an eyesore so I pushed her away and tripped her, but I never intended to hurt her more than that. It was just so she would know her place. After I started learning swordsmanship seriously, I never raised a hand against her again but I used words instead, because I thought she didn't care. She always looked indifferent that sometimes it fired me up to say meaner things just so she would show a reaction. But she didn't get angry even once, she was always composed... It wasn't entirely my fault. It's also hers for not speaking up. If she was hurt, she should have said so," Brandon added, his eyebrows knitting together.

"If I said so, would you have believed it?"

The soft voice from the bed was like thunder which shook the whole room. Ava is awake and who knows from exactly when she started hearing us talk.

Greyson, Pearson and I stared wide-eyed as Ava's emerald eyes stayed on Brandon. Brandon looked as if he was frozen on the spot.

She shifted her gaze towards Pearson. "You told on me..." she said simply.

Pearson's golden eyes reflected remorse and guilt. "My Lady... I only-"

"You can't be trusted either," Ava cut him off before he could say another word. Her words were sharp that even I felt the weight of the words.

She looked away from him and Pearson looked as if he was on the verge of crumbling away. He lost the small trust that he worked hardly and patiently to obtain with just the snap of a finger.

"My words... mean nothing to everyone in this mansion..." Ava continued with her blank expression. "Second young master made that clear... First young master and third young master did too... I wasn't a living being to any of you. First young master told me once, that I am nothing but furniture. A Lady to adorn the wall of the Krauser dukedom... A jewel with no luster..."

I was stiff to the bone while listening to her quote the very same words I told her after she was officially adopted. She didn't even have a party to welcome her to the noble society. Father didn't think it was necessary to hold one. Alas, everyone thought the same because there's no way a girl adopted from a commoner status can cause benefit to a duchy.

And so, I called her a useless piece of furniture, a jewel with no luster and that she would stay that way for the rest of her life.

"If a table says it's hurt, would anyone care to listen?" Ava said.

"Why do you take things so literally? You're obviously human. If you said you were hurt, we would've payed attention. Just how horrible did you think we were?" Greyson interrupted. Clearly, he's very upset and now that he has the opportunity to talk to Ava, he's taking advantage of the situation.

"So it's my fault?" Ava answered, her emerald eyes looking so eerily calm that they're starting to creep me out.

"I didn't say that," Greyson remarked loudly.

"I was hurt and I didn't tell, so it's my fault. People were being horrible to me and I didn't fight back and so it's my fault. I did everything to survive thus it's all my fault. There's some truth in that... The person at fault... would always be me, no matter how much we talk about it," Ava stated before turning her eyes towards us.

I braced myself for her eyes to bear loathing, hatred, even killing intent but found myself looking at a forlorn pair of emerald pupils.

"Why are you doing this? At the very end, you're being horrible. Just let me die, would you?" she said, her voice soft, almost begging.

None of us had the words to reply to her statements.

"You- can't. You're not allowed to die. Not like this..." Greyson suddenly said.

"Is it because it's a bad omen for a person to die in the duke's residence? Or is it because it would be hard to dispose of the corpse? If that's so, then please give me the permission to go outside. I'll die somewhere you won't see me, so please..." Ava said. Before any of us could react to her terrifying accusations, she started to lift herself from the bed.

She looked very weak. Each of her movements showed it. Her limbs were trembling and her knees shook as she tried to stand up. But just like that, she knelt down.

Brandon tried to interfere and took a step towards her. "You. Get back on the be-"

He wasn't able to continue because Ava groveled. Kneeling, with her head down, her forehead and palms touching the floor, she groveled.

"I'll do anything. I'll do anything so just leave me alone. Like you've always done, just leave me alone... There's no reason for you to keep me alive... Even if you sell me, I won't amount to much... For these seven years, I lived according to your orders. I didn't have a say regarding anything; I adjusted to everyone's wishes and accepted everything... I'll die so quietly; you won't even be able to tell... So please... Please... I beg you, young masters..." she said. Her voice wasn't shaking nor was it filled with conviction. They were just words, plain words, with no tone, no color, no pride nor soul reflected onto them. She meant the words, literally, plainly, straight-forwardly.

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak, and I couldn't take my eyes off her. To her, we were no longer fellow human beings.

To her, we were someone who would sell her off for money, someone who would worry about the disposal of her corpse instead of the fact that she died... A bunch of heartless people who wouldn't even let her die even though it was of her own will.

"Lady Ava, please..." Pearson said and was the only person who approached her. But as he touched her shoulder, she shriveled down like a ragdoll.

"Lady Ava," Pearson called in alarm and held her in his arms. Her head lolled from side to side. "Fainted," he said a second after checking her face.

Like me, all Greyson and Brandon could do was watch. We didn't even help as Sir Pearson carried Ava back to the bed. He drew a magic circle in the air which glowed a bright white light.

After an incantation, he turned towards us. "She's very weak," he told us. "Since she was also not making any effort to eat well, I suggest that she remain asleep and we can administer nutrition through potions. Sleeping is the best medicine for Lady Ava at the moment but rest-assured my Lords... I'll do everything within my power to help her..."

My siblings and I answered with a long silence but Pearson patiently waited for a response.

"I suppose... that there's nothing we can do to help?" Greyson asked.

"There's nothing... For now," Pearson replied.

~~~

PEARSON

I casted the spell myself. It was only supposed to work for three days' maximum. So why isn't Lady Ava waking up?

I had been spending the last four days holed up in my room in the annex building of the Duke's residence, scanning and scrolling through every book I could find that provided details to the sleeping spell.

It had been eight days since I put Lady Ava to sleep. I expected her to gain consciousness on the third day but she didn't open her eyes. She also didn't react to any kind of stimulus. She is breathing, still alive, but there was no sign of her waking up.

I thought I made a mistake. There must be something! She wouldn't have been sleeping so long if the spell was done right!

"Damn!" I yelled, slamming a book down the desk before propelling it across the room. I sat dejectedly on a chair, trying to regain my composure.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Yes?" I called, unable to hide the irritation in my tone.

The door opened and Lord Greyson walked in.

I stood up from the chair abruptly. "Is she awake?" I asked hurriedly.

Lord Greyson shook his head. "Nothing today either..." he replied. "Brother Brandon cannot delay his work any further. He must go back to the capital this afternoon. He asks that you accompany him to see Ava before he goes..." he told me.

"Are the three Lords... still uncomfortable of visiting Lady Ava without me?" I asked.

There came a very sad look in the sea-blue eyes of the youngest Lord. "We still don't think we have the right to see her alone... If she suddenly wakes up, and she only sees one of us... then she really might not want to wake up ever," he answered.

I opened my mouth to say something but I know that whatever I say, it wouldn't be of any comfort. "Please tell Lord Brandon, I'll be heading to Lady Ava's room in ten minutes..."

Lord Greyson nodded and left.

I spent the next three minutes straightening out my appearance. I stared at the reflection on the mirror and noted the dark circles under my eyes. I haven't been getting enough sleep lately since I have to search for a way to wake up Lady Ava. I also wanted to be there when she does wake up. I stay in her room watching her for as long as I was permitted but as she is an unmarried woman of engagement age, I wasn't allowed after dusk and before the sun rises.

During the past week, the Duke and his brothers conducted in-depth investigation among every servant in the mansion including those who worked for their family within the last seven years.

The information they were able to dig up was more horrendous than anyone expected. I felt my heart gave out for Lady Ava even more after knowing specifically how she was treated and abused by servants who took advantage of the fact that she was a powerless lady only noble in name.

Most of the servants who quit their job years ago did so in order to wash their hands from the bullying that was being done to the only lady of the house. They were mostly newly-hired servants who didn't even last three months.

A maid by the name of Kathy who was designated to be one of Lady Ava's attendants was only employed for a couple of months. She was the one who provided the most information regarding what the lady went through. Her testimonies became an important key to naming the specific people who abused the lady personally.

"They were horrible to her. And she was just a child who cannot defend herself…" she started and went on with narrating what she had witnessed.

"Lady Ava was only eleven when I was here... Her head maid Matilda was the one who initiated most of the pranks played on her. She would put itching powder on the lady's clothes, sew buttons wrongly on her dresses so it would be easy to fall apart, and she also rejects the invitations to social parties and dances without even showing them to Lady Ava. I always thought it was odd, but everyone there were bullying her. Yet, the young masters didn't seem to mind. The other maids said that it had been that way since the Duchess passed away and if I don't do the same, Matilda would have me ostracized and be given the most difficult work. Because Matilda was the Lady's head maid, everything was within her control. The other maids poke fun at the lady under her orders but a lot of them also enjoyed torturing Lady Ava. They said that in the case that they're caught, they can just push all the blame to Matilda since she was the one who initiated most of the bullying... I did my best not to get involved with them and so I mostly took care of the laundry..."

"As I remember, the worst and most often among the pranks that they would do was play with her food. And it was mostly during the meals that Lady Ava shared with the duke and her brothers. The servants, including the butlers-in-training and the servant boys close to the maids, would bet on who can make the most disgusting food that can make Lady Ava's face show a reaction. They wanted her to show a disgusted face in front of the duke and the young lords or even worse, spit her food out or throw up. They'd do things like replacing strawberry syrup with smoothened tomato sauce with chili powder on desserts, and there were countless times they put dirt in her food. Matilda often said that Lady Ava was nothing but a beggar lucky enough to be picked up by the duchess from the street. Matilda was from a fallen Baron's family and lost power that they were demoted to being commoners so she had a lot of pride. She said she was there when Lady Ava just arrived and her stench was so bad that no one wanted to touch her. In my opinion, Matilda was jealous of Lady Ava's luck and also of her beauty. There was no denying Lady Ava's pretty face and that's the only thing that Matilda couldn't nitpick about..."

"On the night before the day I quit work, I saw Matilda slip out of the servants' quarters carrying an oil lamp. The oil lamp was only used in the basement since the whole mansion was equipped with magic light stones. So I followed her and ended up in Lady Ava's room. I saw her and I was positive she was trying to pour a little amount of oil on the lady's face. I saw that and so I tried to help but I ended up knocking the lamp out of her hands and it fell on the lady's feet. I didn't know what happened afterwards because I ran out. I quit on the next day before the sun even rose. I was afraid I would be blamed for the lady's injury..."

That was Kathy's confession which she narrated while crying. The girl was only fifteen seven years ago, just four years older than Lady Ava thus it must have been quite a scary experience. Her story shed light to how exactly Lady Ava got the wound causing the scars on her ankles.

With Kathy's help and the assistance of a servant boy who was fired for standing up for the lady, the culprits were all named and thrown into jail. The Lords are still thinking about the punishment for the criminals. They agreed that a death sentence is too light. In Gouveia Kingdom, for servants sworn to loyalty upon the master they serve, to harm their master intentionally usually warrants the death penalty unless the victim's side says otherwise.

For Lady Ava, to live is to suffer and to die is to be free. Thus, the Lords felt that killing off the culprits is an easy way out for the criminals.

After that, the whole household was reformed. Almost every servant were replaced. Kathy, together with Garrett, the servant boy who assisted with naming culprits, were personally scouted by the young Duke to be the lady's new attendants.

The boy Garrett also had his own story to tell. It seemed that he was fired upon the maids' slandering of his name just because of switching Lady Ava's tampered meal with a normal one during dinner.

"Lady Ava learned about my dismissal and for some reason, she knew that I was the one who helped her have a proper meal for once... Before I left the mansion, she went and talked to me, gave me a gold bracelet and told me to sell it for money... She also thanked me for helping her and apologized for being unable to protect me from getting fired. I watched her get bullied by the servants for a month and I tell you, I was nearing my wits' end. Lady Ava is so docile and quiet, she never told on anyone bullying her and she never fought back. She's so sweet and lovely and so kind to the new servants. I never regret helping her that night... " Garrett, aged sixteen currently, is only a year older than the young lady. He only had older and younger brothers thus he said that seeing a girl younger than him get bullied made him want to protect her like what he would do for a sister.

Learning about everything that was done to the lady made me furious with everyone in the mansion including the young Duke and his brothers. The abuse went on every day, thus they had to be really uninterested in Lady Ava for everything to go unnoticed.

The deceased Duke was also to blame. He took in a child but was never responsible enough to raise her right or even be concerned for her welfare.

But amidst it all, I admired Lady Ava's ability to persevere and endure through each day of those seven years. Somehow, it made me understand why she wants so desperately to leave this world. She had enough and it was not surprising for her to want to escape everything all at once.

The young Duke and Lords are repenting for their immature deeds from the past but they know that no amount of apology could make it up to her. As if to punish themselves each day, they would visit Lady Ava regularly but they cannot really do it without my presence.

However, none of these would really matter if Lady Ava doesn't wake up. And in the event that she wakes up, I still have no idea on how to make her give up on death.

I reached the quarters of the lady in the main building in ten minutes as I promised. Lord Brandon wasn't there yet thus I entered alone.

"Greetings, Sir Pearson..." Kathy greeted me as she carried a tray with a pot of tea and some cups. "Young Master Greyson said that you would be visiting with Young Master Brandon... And so I brewed jasmine tea..."

"Thank you, Miss Kathy," I greeted back with a smile.

"Just Kathy is fine, my Lord..." she said and smiled back. Then she turned her head towards the sleeping girl on the bed. She heaved a sigh. "I really wish the lady would wake up soon... There's a lot of things I want to tell her..." she murmured.

"We're all hoping for the best..." I remarked.

"Yes..." Kathy said with a sad smile before excusing herself to prepare some snacks. She had been practicing making baked pastries so that she could serve Lady Ava better once she wakes up.

I was left to look after the lady as Kathy went out. I sat by the side of the bed like I always did.

I still couldn't forget the day when she asked me for a vial of poison. She kissed my hand with a desperation that made the sensation of her lips linger on my knuckles until this moment.

For such a sweet lady to sleep forever like this, it might be what she had wanted all along, but I thought it a waste. Lady Ava only wanted to die because she only experienced suffering in her life. If she understands that she also has a shot at happiness, a chance to enjoy life, then perhaps she would change her mind.

It would be really nice if I could make her understand that and help her cure her emotional wounds one by one. It is my duty as a healer, as her doctor, and simply as a person who sincerely wishes her the best. My colleagues often warned me not to empathize too much with a patient or it would lead to me getting too involved however, I do not regret being the one to handle the lady's case and getting involved with her story this deeply. I had only known her for over a month but it seemed as if she was someone whom I had been attached to for years.

I looked at the door and checked whether Lord Brandon or Kathy is coming. As we seem to be alone, I reached a hand over to Lady Ava's left hand. I do not have any ill intention for holding her hand but I know it is still something I shouldn't do for she is an unmarried young lady. Yet, I cannot help the urge to hold her hand, just this once...

I gave her thin, pale fingers a squeeze. "My lady... Please wake up... This world may be wretched but there are many reasons to stay alive..."

At that instant, a miracle happened.

"Would you mind... telling me one or two... of those reasons?"

The softly clipped voice, not too low, not too high with a refreshing sound...

At first, I thought I was imagining it but then I looked up and saw the twinkling emerald eyes opening and closing, blinking at me.

"Lady... Lady Ava..." I stammered, unable to believe it.

To my surprise, the lady mustered a smile. "Good morning... Sir Pearson..."