I was reincarnated as a twink and now I have to kill GOD!

The truth is, my life never amounted to anything. We all know somebody talented. Whether it's a celebrity on TV or a friend who's great at video games. I was never talented. Everything I attempted to do, I failed at. I had no unique attributes. Ugly, boring, stupid. Even bugs had more charm. And in that wretched state, on a summer night, I died in a burst of flame.

"Have you heard of Tarocho?"

A single flickering screen illuminates my room. My PC. The fan hums while I click through five different applications. One is Discord. Wither is messaging me. I don't know if I could call Wither a friend or not. We met playing a game years ago. Neither of us plays that game anymore, but we kept in touch. I have no idea what Wither looks like, and he has no idea what I look like.

Of course, he'd be disgusted if he knew what I looked like. At thirty-five years old, I look like a cave troll. My face, which was never attractive, only seems to have worsened with age. I have bad skin, acne, and pockmarks. My hair is too long and sticks out at weird angles. I have a neckbeard from not shaving. I'm fat enough that getting up and walking leaves me out of breath. And I'm pretty sure I smell bad, too, since I haven't showered in weeks.

"No, what's that?" I respond, clacking on my mechanical keyboard.

"It's a new game. I think you'd like it. It's a lot like FromSoftware games but has an anime feel. Like if Genshit was less shitty." Wither quickly replies.

"How's the gameplay?"

"Pretty good. Challenging enough that game journalists call it too hard, lol. Also, the character designs are cute. All guys."

"All guys? I'm buying it. Gimme the link."

"It's your birthday, right? I'll buy it for you."

I'm temporarily stunned that Wither knew it was my birthday. I hadn't celebrated. My mother, who hates me, had said nothing to me. I had ordered pizza delivery and eaten it with a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Mostly I had just been depressed—my mid-thirties with no job, no degree, and no boyfriend. And I was still a virgin. I had wondered if I should kill myself. Then I decided that was too much work.

"Thanks, man. You have my Steam, right?" I type back.

"Yeah. I'll get it for you rn."

"Cool cool. I'm gonna head to bed, though lol. It's like 6 am here."

"Ok. Play it tomorrow and let me know what you think. Night."

"Night."

The screen goes dark. I get up and crawl over to my mattress on the ground. The bed is stained and old, the same mattress I've had since I was a kid. I stare at the walls of my room. Hunter x Hunter, Steins; Gate, Monogatari Series. I plastered my walls with all kinds of anime posters. I bought expensive figurines I propped up on shelves. My favorite is a Lio Fotia figure from Promare. Not that any of this junk meant anything. I had, in reality, nothing of value.

Real value comes from life experiences—stuff like graduating high school, getting a boyfriend and going to a concert. I have almost no value. I dropped out of high school due to bullying. Then I shut myself away in my room forever. Eventually, after years of spending time in my hole, I became afraid of the outside world. Of people, the sun, and, worst of all, new things. I can't stand unfamiliar people or places. I would rather stay in my snow globe, my childhood bedroom. I'm hoping that in another ten years, I'll be dead.

I've been working on it. Buying drugs was too scary, so I decided that food was the easiest option. I'm eating myself to death. Intentionally. I try to eat as much as possible, sometimes until I'm sick. Greasy foods, sugary foods, processed foods. I don't even enjoy it. I'm just hoping to speed up the biological clock. Wrap my organs in saturated fats. And then, hopefully, die of a heart attack.

I close my eyes, trying to focus on falling asleep. I drift into a familiar daydream. In it, I wake up in a different body—the body of a handsome young man. I'm beautiful, like a model. This strange event completely changes my life. I become more confident and happier. People treat me better. I make a living off of my looks. All of my problems are fixed. Yay! This will never happen.

I don't realize I've fallen asleep until I wake up. I feel dizzy for some reason, sick. I sit up, feeling my stomach turn over. I can barely move like I weigh ten thousand pounds. The air smells funny. Gas. There's been a gas leak. I think of my mom that I need to go wake her up. We have to get out of the house, call someone. Maybe the fire department. I stand up, and the house explodes.

It's so fast that I don't feel a thing. I see everything go bright white, and then I'm gone. I'm floating over my body, over the scene of the explosion. The house is destroyed. It's nothing but ruins. Me, well... I don't look too good. I'm definitely dead. I sigh, drifting further up into the sky. I think this is probably for the best, although I feel bad for my mom. I guess she must have died too. I wish I had warned her about the gas faster.

There's a light I'm drifting towards. I figure this must be the light everyone talks about. The one at the end of the tunnel or whatever. It's warm and comfortable. It slowly envelops my vision. I have one last thought before I completely disappear.

Damn. I never got to play that game.

I hear something. A bell tolling. Like the sound of a church bell. It's loud, ominous. The world rapidly goes dark. I'm standing in pitch blackness. I reach out my hands, trying to feel in front of me. The bell tolling is becoming louder. It hurts my ears. I cover them, groaning. Everything is turning red now, a bright scarlet red. I wonder if I'm in Hell. I try and scream but hear no sound. Then something lights up in front of me.

In a simple, clean white font is a question.

New Game?

I stare at it, confused. The world is dead silent now. I look around, trying to see where I am—an endless red fog. When I walk forward, I go nowhere. My body feels different. Like I have no weight. I try and look down at my hands and see nothing. Then I look up. There's a logo in the sky. It beams down at me.

Tarocho.

I look back at the question. New game? I'm not sure what to do. I wave my hand at it, the hand I can't see. Nothing happens.

"Hello?" I say. Even as I speak, I hear nothing. Frustrated, I try and smack the question. Something lights up.

Yes.

The ground drops out from underneath me. I'm plummeting downwards through something wet. Mist. No, clouds. I scream. I'm tumbling straight toward the earth so fast I can barely see it. I think I'm going to die again. I close my eyes, trying to cover my face.

Air hits my lungs. I gasp, coughing. I'm lying on the ground, my entire body throbbing. I scream again, this time a sound coming out. A voice that is not my own. I stop screaming because the sound scares me. I sit up, staring at my surroundings. Around me is a town that looks European in a historical way. Everything is made of cobble, wood, and straw. It seems run down. The sky is gray, and there's no one in the street. I'm cold.

It's then that I realize I'm naked. Looking down at my body, I have another realization. This is not me. I'm thin. I poke my stomach, shocked. This is somehow more surprising than anything else. I grab my arms. They're like sticks. I stand up, feeling incredibly light. I can move so much easier. I spin around in a circle, trying to get a look at my new body.

In a puddle, I see my reflection. I dart over, squatting to see myself better. At first, I'm taken aback. I'm not human anymore. I'm anime. I grab my face, pulling on it. I've become a cartoon character. Like I'm playing some virtual reality game. My hair is bright red, and I have a cute face. My eyes are a vivid blue, and my skin is pale white. I keep making faces, surprised by how each looks.

I'm dreaming. That must be it. There's no other explanation. How could this be real? I pinch myself hard. I feel pain shoot through my arm. I don't wake up. I panic, then. Is this real? I try and remember the name of this genre of anime. Isekai. Where you get reborn into another world. I start laughing. It's too ridiculous. The laugh turns hysterical. Then I'm crying.

"I'm sorry, Mom...." Is all I manage to say between tears.

Someone grabs me by the hair, pulling me up. I yelp, shocked out of my misery.

"Identify yourself!" Someone shouts in my ear.

"What? I'm sorry," I say back, confused. The person holding me is some kind of knight. They're wearing armor. Actual armor. It's weird to see up close like a cosplayer.

"Identify yourself before I behead you!" The knight yells again.

"Um...." I say, staring blankly at him. I don't want to be beheaded, but I don't know what to say.

"Insolent peasant! I'll waste no more time with you. Pray to the Gods for forgiveness," The knight says, dropping me. He draws a long curved blade. It shines, pure steel.

"Hold on a second! I don't know what's going on!" I say, desperate.

I watch the blade descend on me. I close my eyes, waiting for my second death. It doesn't come. I wait a few moments before opening my eyes again. Someone has stopped the blade with their hand. It bleeds, the blood dripping onto the cobblestone.

"Enough. You are blinder than I am. This is the one we've been seeking. After all these years, he finally appears before us. Then you try to kill him. You should hang yourself," A calm, gentle voice says. I look up at the speaker.

They're frail looking, delicate. A young man with a silk ribbon covering his eyes. He has white skin and pale blonde hair. It reaches his shoulders. On his head is a silver crown embedded with jewels. He's wearing expensive-looking robes that trail behind him. He reminds me of a fairytale character. He's delicate, like a fairy.

"Who are you?" I ask him, in awe.

"I am the king. And you," He says, pointing his sword at my throat, "Are the chosen one."