1 Chapter 1: Nothing important
Warning: Nothing of grave consequence happens this chapter. To begin with, the main character is an inanimate object, so do not expect too much from the first few chapters.
I started by selecting [Yes] to the question.
[Solution: {Information} is too low leveled to access this information. Would you like to know the minimum level required?]
With the above answer, I felt my body growing lighter. Not like I was less tired or more flexible but like my bodyweight was vaporizing before my eyes. Not that I have any, but...
Anyway, I selected yes again.
[Solution: {Information} is too low leveled to access this information. Would you like to know the minimum level required?]
Goddamn it!
[Due to thirst of knowledge detected in puddle Gavan, puddle Gavan has gained a new skill {{Information} level 1}. Would you like to gain the details of this skill?]
I selected yes again. Maybe it will work due to the rise in level?
[Solution: Skill {Information} lets you get answers to questions, and the workings of the world. The current level of the skill is one. Would you like to get information on the current level?]
I selected [Yes]. It's obviously going to spit the same dialogue but...
[Solution: {Information} is too low leveled to access this information. Would you like to know the minimum level required?]
As I thought, I got lighter again. I wonder...
[Solution: Your current weight is 2.3 Kg.]
I see. But my weight is constantly increasing.
[Solution: Your current weight is 2.6 Kg.]
Going over what I know, I am a puddle. If my weight is increasing, it must mean... Rain?
[Solution: Yes]
So, in conclusion, my weight is growing due to constant absorption of water into my body. I wonder what the sudden decreases are?
[Solution: Due to use of skills, an equivalent weight of water is evaporated.]
So the amount of water I have is similar to my total mana...
What happens if I run out of water? No, it's pretty obvious, isn't it? I die.
[Took damage from external attack. Lost .03 kg water.]
What just happened?
[Took damage from external attack. Lost .03 kg water.]
Yes I know. Do you have any other information?
[Solution: The attack was composed of blunt force.]
...
[Solution: Velocity: 20 kmph downwards, 3kmph west.]
...
Somebody just stepped on me, right?
[Solution: Yes]
The rain went on for several hours. I got bored. I tried to mess with the {Information} skill.
This statement is false. Is the previous statement true or false?
[Solution: The statement is a paradox, and is thus neither true nor false]
What is the integration of x sin square theta cos theta?
[Solution: unable to understand phrase 'integration'. Skill terminated.]
What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?
[Solution: 42]
No, I'm not just messing around. As I never took calculus, and thus integration is not available. However, as it could use the phrase paradox, as long as I know the answer, It'll use the answer it accordingly.
[Took damage from external attack. Lost .07 kg water.]
Even when said answer is clearly wrong, as can be inferred from the third question. Thus, while it has basic information of the world, if there is an answer I know or~
[Took damage from external attack. Lost .01 kg water.]
~believe, it will give me the same answer, even if the answer is wrong. To test, I ask
My weight is 100,000.0 kg right?
[Solution: Yes]
When I asked the question, I convinced myself that the answer is yes, but if I were to ask about my weight again,
[Solution: 7.3kg]
That's nice...
I clear my mind, and ask
Name one example of a paradox
[Solution: Unable to understand phrase 'paradox'. Skill terminated.]
Thus it does not store previous information, also, it cannot get partially related information from me. Only when I know the final answer. Otherwise, it would have understood the phrase 'paradox'. It's truly an inconvenient skill.
[Took damage from external attack. Lost .009 kg water.]
The worst part is that I get deceived, I cannot expect help from it.
Finally, an actual question:
What are the details of skill {Flow}?
[Solution: Allows for flow of water.]
What a bloody obvious answer! I already knew that! Wait... Could it be because I knew that?
[Took damage from external attack. Lost .06 kg water.]
God this skill is useless! If I have partial information on a topic, I cannot gain anymore, it seems...
[Solution: Yes]
I don't even know if my guess is correct or if I just thought it was when I asked. My head hurts. Of course, not literally, as I cannot feel pain but... Whatever!
[Took damage from external attack. Lost .06 kg water.]
Just shut up. People are stepping on me, right? I know.
I take a breath, calm myself down and use flow.
I can slightly move. The water consumption is really low, and I can use it for long periods of time without minding it.
Still, movement is terribly limited. I wish I could just somehow see what I'm doing...
[Due to the mass of dihydrogen monoxide content of puddle Gavan's body increasing beyond pre-specified amount (10kg), the level cap for puddle Gavan's skills has gone from one to two. Also, puddle Gavan has gained a new skill {{Sense} level 1}. Would you like to gain the details of this skill?]
I select [No].
I already have a guess about its effect, so I don't need repeat information. It seems as though I cannot know what it does unless I try it out.
I tried activating it. I saw a black and white world, blurred like I was missing my glasses, and constantly distorting like countless magnifying glasses were moving in front of my eyes, along with an alomst drunk feeling.
I deactivated the skill.
Looks like all level one skills are trash...
[Solution: Yes]
I deactivated that too. The rain has all but stopped, and I don't need a yes man wasting my water supply right now. Then I activated flow, and somehow with the movement of my body, I was able to somewhat guess the terrain and move accordingly.
[Due to the mass of dihydrogen monoxide content of puddle Gavan's body decreasing beyond pre specified amount (10kg), the level cap for puddle Gavan's skills has gone from two to one. Also, puddle Gavan has lost skill {Sense}.]
Well, looks like the specified amount goes both ways...
[Solution: Yes]
Didn't I turn you off?
[Solution: {Information} can never be turned off]
Well this is bullshit! I don't need this skill!
[Due to lack of thirst of knowledge detected in puddle Gavan, puddle Gavan has lost skill {Information}.]
I'm just digging my own grave at this point.
I want to move underground in order to reduce evaporation, and mitigate blunt force damage.
But... I can't... Probably, it's because...
[Solution: {Information} is too low leveled to access this information. Would you like to know the minimum level required?]
Even after disappearing, you continue to waste my water, don't you?
[Solution: {Information} is too low leveled to access this information. Would you like to know the minimum level required?]
GOD! SHUT UP!
