1 PROLOGUE

It all happened so fast.

I was crushed by the weight of the world and I hadn't even made it to my eighteenth birthday yet. I can't quite pin point when the stress started becoming too much. Maybe it was at Chiyo's eighth birthday party. At least, that was around the time the attacks started.

Chiyo's parents were having a celebration at the Kujukuri beach and she invited me. I was so excited—and naïve. Her and I became close over the school year. She was the only friend I ever had who called me by my first name. Akemi.

Her birthday was a spectacle, as all things were in the life of Chiyo. Her parents had more money than they knew what to do with and sometimes it felt like Chiyo was the MC of her own show—we were just the side characters. Nevertheless, she still took time every day to ask me how I was doing and leave little notes for me to find. She did care about people, she just had to keep herself guarded because of her status. I was an idiot to think someone like her would want anything to do with me, looking back at it.

During her party her and her real friends relentlessly teased me about actually showing up to the beach. She snorted as she laughed saying she couldn't believe I actually thought she was serious about being friends with me. She told me I was too poor and clingy. I had never been so ashamed or embarrassed. I raced back home as quick as I could, the last thing I wanted was for them to see me cry.

School was different after that. A feeling so terrible would tether my heels in place and constrict my chest. People's faces blurred as I fought to get a steady breath. Fear consumed everything around me. I would have these attacks a couple of times a week.

I don't necessarily blame Chiyo. Her parents were snobs so she subsequently became one as well. But, even more than that, I don't think her abuse is what caused my attacks, but maybe sped them up. I think these awful black feelings were always underneath my surface and any amount of prodding would have made them bubble up eventually.

I didn't want friends. I was perfectly content inside the confides of my room. If I could've gotten away with it, I wouldn't have even gone to school either. I found solace in fantasy worlds in any medium. Manga, anime, video games. You name it. It was in the immersion of a fantasy that I felt the most control of my life, probably because it was never my life at all.

I lived in an apartment with my dad and even saying that was quite the stretch, because he was always gone for work. I couldn't complain much, I suppose. I had a roof over my head, electricity, and lots of instant noodles. On the days it got real bad I would wonder if he'd even realize it if I disappeared entirely. I desperately wished that there was someway I could just hit the redo button on my life. Start everything over, just like in a video game. A life where the fear didn't have a stranglehold on me. I would pay whatever the price.

Much to my surprise, just several days shy of my eighteenth birthday, that wish came true. The life of the boy named Akemi Kon came to an abrupt end while walking home from school on a Friday afternoon. A goddess with long flowing golden hair came to me and cradled my soul. She wore exquisite pearl colored robes. She whispered something to me. I still can't recall her words, in all honesty I don't think I'm suppose to, but for some reason when I was reincarnated I kept all of the memories of my awful life in the Chiba Prefecture.

Also there's one small detail I forgot to add.

I was reincarnated as a girl.