5 Okay with Oneself

Rowan, being lifted ever so slightly by King Luken, was able to have the honor of viewing the man from a good angle. The sunrays that streamed from the windows seemed to soften the platinum-haired man as the edges of his hair was highlighted with a halo of light. The particles of light seemed to be naturally attracted to King Luken, perhaps due to his affinity as a Light Mage, Rowan pondered.

His smile completely showed what was beyond a hard exterior. It was a bit crooked and awkward as if he was not used to smiling, though his bright, sunset eyes showed that he genuinely seemed intrigued by his, or rather a seemingly inanimate mirror's, capabilities.

King Luken truly was in a good mood. Although the mirror's full abilities are unknown, it would be very useful if it's promise of its knowledge is true. He thought of the possibilities of the future and the secrets of the mirror. Magical artifacts or tools that can store knowledge are rare and very few kingdoms have one in hand. Olinthus, even if they are a prosperous country, should not be able to have one unless they have stolen it as they are quite a new country compared to the thousand year old countries, like Nelumbo.

Neverthless, when he finds out the mirror's capabilities, he would be able to use it for his country's own good and crush the tyrannical Olinthus!

When King Luken tilted his head, he noticed his own weird smile in the reflection of the mirror. The slicked back platinum hair followed the movement and also moved a little to the side. Luken tried to smile wider to make his smile more amiable but ended up looking like a wicked villain looking down upon the world, thus immediately eased his facial expressions to return to his expressionless countenance. He massaged his face lightly from straining it by smiling.

When he realized he used a magic tool to evaluate his own appearance, he lowered the mirror and straightened his back. He reassured himself that no one was in the room and sighed in relief that his dignity was still retained. Well, almost retained.

The young man in the mirror, after witnessing the entire ordeal, couldn't help but stay shocked for a few moments before mentally bursting into laughter. King Luken, although aware that he is "completely" alone, still had red ears and a rigid face. Rowan was aware that the man was glad to have a useful tool, but all good leaders would have the same reaction when given a chance to protect his country. Rowan was still happy, after all King Luken seems good hearted and not evil minded as Emperor Jove. After all, King Luken just seems...

'So cute! If all nobles were like this, the world would be so much better. Well, maybe just funnier. Definitely funnier!" Rowan wheezed and dry heaved, even if he couldn't or didn't need to breathe, he still acted it out to feel a bit more alive. Being stuck in a mirror for a year really stripped a lot of the small joys in life that Rowan could only act out for his own amusement.

Just when the man in the mirror was about to calm down, King Luken sneezed and had a dark look flicker across his face. His crimson eyes narrowed in faint annoyance.

Murmuring under his breath, "Is that damn Duke badmouthing me again?"

This brought forth another round of inner laughter from Rowan. He hasn't been this amused nor entertained in his years of living. And spending a year in the same room with the same faces and door, his mental capacity, although formidable, was still degraded. He became slightly disassociated from people, well mainly because he hated everyone in Olinthus, and tended to have angry outbursts within the mirror. Angry outbursts were just the norm for him as he more than often mentally chewed and spat on all the nobles. But, he was fine with that.

It was when after a burst of emotions that sometimes, he becomes eerily silent. Or it was eerily silent for him in the inside as he could not freely talk nor would anyone talk to him unless it was a question. He was empty of everything and just felt hollow.

Every time this happened, he felt like he was in the ocean. Not drowning nor swimming. Just in the ocean, where everything felt sluggish and freezing, he could feel the cold, yet couldn't. Sometimes, other than feeling nearly nothing after feeling almost everything, he would feel a piece of him float away and would become afraid of losing a part of himself. He felt connected to it that on some occasions, he could watch himself from that piece's perspective, just in the quiet, deep ocean. It felt unreal and he wanted to feel anything. He was scared, more scared than when he first founded himself in the mirror.

Things would always get better in a few moments as emotions comes back to him in either bits or bursts.

Rowan had known what he was suffering from and already taken individual steps to heal himself. These little steps have eased off these silent episodes that were more like astral projections than daydreams. They still come from time to time and are sometimes unavoidable. Things simply get hard when surrounded by those who are the causes of your problems and you aren't able to get away from them, physically or mentally. The young man knew that being finally separated from them might be the last step to recovery. It might still be hard as he was still a mirror...

Glancing at King Luken who got up from his throne and started to stride towards where he assumed was Duke Gale's working space from his irritated mutters, Rowan felt himself well up with warmth and laughter.

'I think I will be okay.'