I just got out of prison and fuck life

"Midori! Get out!"

The Corrections Officer paused in front of a prison cell, bashed her baston on the rails, and shouted. All actions are done with more than the normal degree of laziness.

If you look at her in one glance, you could avoid your eyes without wanting to look back again.

In simpler terms, she had no particular features you could call striking, other than her fat tummy.

In more simpler terms, she's not a head-turner!

Her noticeable stomach even at a distance, bulged out like she's pregnant. It couldn't possibly be concealed in any way.

The buttons of her black uniform snapped after so much struggle. It was like the imitation of the painting, The Creation of Adam, where two hands reached out towards each other.

Alas! It didn't meet.

Midori was thinking of those unfortunate buttons and felt the urge to cross herself. She should go pray the moment she's out.

Although in common sense, the two buttons of a Corrections Officer's uniform and the painting of Michelangelo's couldn't be any different, who had the cells to give a middle finger?

Midori, the girl the officer was calling for continued still laying down on the thin futon. Her face planted flat, like when you smack a birthday person's back head to her b-day cake, as some form of stupid celebration tradition within close friends.

Once your dearest friends made sure you and the icing were no longer differentiable, they would then shout.

"Happy Birthday!"

Idiotic, right?

Despite knowing she's summoned, Midori remained motionless like a corpse. Her dark and messy hair, comparable to a bird's nest, makes one look at her with discomfort. It was enough evidence of her negligence to comb for, probably 6 months.

"Mi-Do-Ri!"

The Officer spoke every vowel of her name, mimicking the usual kindergarten teacher's tone when instructing students on how to read a e i o u.

Midori whose ears perked up after she was called again, groaned. Left with no other choice, she pulled her body to move. Although it took her ages to stand up.

When she's finally on her feet, Midori raised her head, and stared at the unpleasant lady outside.

Midori's pale face and sunken eyes came to view. And the officer flinched from the jump scare.

"Ah, kuso! Your face is scary!" The officer cursed, and glared at Midori, as if offended by her face.

Midori didn't pay her remark any attention, and only stared at her with a face that shouts "Why the hell?"

She tried racking her brain, to come up with a reason as to why she's called, but she couldn't think of any. And since she couldn't think of anything, why think at all?

Ah to hell with it!

Moving her feet to move forward, she swayed a little from dizziness, but the spinning world turned peaceful after a good old time.

Finally stable, Midori yawned.

The moment she gaped, her mouth formed into a big O. Enough for her central incisor down to her third molar to come to view. N9t really.

After she finished revealing her white teeth, and getting rid of morning breath, Midori closed her mouth.

"What's up?" She asked, casually.

Better ask if she couldn't think of any reason.

"You---" Before the officer could say more, Midori suddenly raised her palm. Signalling the other to shut her mouth.

The officer, surprised by this, closed her mouth without thinking.

Midori's right hand crept inside her clothes, and he rubbed her itchy belly. Her hand stopped after three rubs. It caught some not-so-small dirt on her belly.

A wriggling, gross dirt? Ah, this doesn't seem to be mere dirt ah?!

Midori pinched the dirt in between her thumb and forefinger, and she raised it. On the same level as her eyes.

Ah, it isn't a dirt ah! Gross, what's this red thing?

Midori inspected it closely, and realization dawn at her. This moving dirt----

She flicked it with her finger. Like nothing ever happened, she turned her attention to the officer.

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Ah, easy pie.

If it's gross, forget about it.

The officer, however, got curious, and leaned in closer. About to ask her what it was.

But before she could even open her mouth, Midori asked with a scream.

"What's up!" Her yell echoed inside the prison, startling the other inmates on the neighboring jail cells.

Even the officer flinched and almost slammed her baston to Midori's head. Although she stopped in an instant, afraid she'll be demoted from being an Officer to an Inmate.

Midori's voice, no inferior to an alarm clock, woke several inmates who were snoozing comfortably on their stone-like bed. Several of Midori's friends snapped out of their dreams. And after realizing what day it is today, they all clapped.

"Woohoo, you're out!"

"Congrats! See you again!"

"Midori! Sneak me some cig when you visit!" Cheers erupted inside the prison, and the officer whistled to shut them up. Of course, she failed to silence them.

Who cares about your whistle whatever, we ought to celebrate!

Freedom means another chance to go to prison! If fate is unkind, dear Midori might come back to their side with a life-long. sentence!

Midori, who finally realized today's event, also clapped. Her mouth breaking into a sleazy smile.

After she was satisfied, she raised her hand and waved at her fellow inmates, like when every crowned Miss Universe declared their victory to their fellow countrymen. With their sparkly little crown, sash, and a huge bouquet.

With their demure and elegant slender hand, they would wave at everyone with a smile. Midori tried to copy it, but with her zombie-like dry skin and her entangled-like-hell hair, of course she failed to imitate them.

"Farewell! My fellow!" Midori shouted.

Her tone copying the series', Bridgerton's accent.

Ah right, now that she remembered it, she had yet to finish that. She was suddenly dragged to court in the middle of Simon and Daphne's consummating!.

Alas, she didn't even know if Daphne finds out Simon is not infertile, but that he can't sire an heir!. She was thrown to jail after a month of trials.

"I burn for you!" Midori shouted.

And everyone cheered, although they didn't understand what she meant by this.

One of the inmates who have difficulty in hearing, shouted back.

"Nani? You burn what? In hell?" Midori's murderer buddy asked, earning everyone a laugh. The only one going to burn in hell here is you.

Midori laughed, and waved at them goodbye.

A new life!

A chance for new opportunities!

Finally she can watch Bridgerton again, and find out who Lady Whistledown is. And oh, her piled-up web novels! She can finally read all of them till she drops dead from lack of sleep!

How can she forget?

She wasn't able to read freely in the cell. But she was once reading a fantasy-romance web novel with a similar societal hierarchy with Bridgerton! But the protagonist is an irritating white lotus, so she dropped it. As far as she can remember, this popular novel was entitled 'The Fools Wish'.

Midori couldn't help but laugh when she was escorted in front of the huge gate. If these officers knew she was living a life inside the prison with a mobile phone tucked under her underwear, she wonders what they would feel?

Alas, they shouldn't be too surprised ah!. If inmates can sneak drugs inside, why can't they sneak a cellphone? It's the prison's fault for being too loose. The nuts even have Wireless Fidelity!

The preventive measures the prison has, to thwart inmates from internet access, are nothing but a joke if your buddy and pals are the officers themselves.

Do you think it's impossible? No.

As long as it's not aliens, everything is possible.

Midori hummed, resolute to start a new life, she steps foot out of the gate.

Just as she was about to take a foot forward, a gunshot sliced through the air with a whish, and Midori was shot right on the center of her forehead.

"Ah fuck life" is what she said before she died.