The decision

"Kari!" my father yelled broken my trance, I immediately sprinted to my father. I almost fall from running when the knight commander catches me. "Thank you" I say shyly while my father shakes his head as he walks forward to me, "I explicitly told you to stay within the training ground. Yet, here you are, far from where you should be!"

I lowered my gaze, "I'm sorry father…"

he sighed in frustration "That's it? Just sorry"

The other knights started to stare at the scene 'what a humiliating scene' Kari thought. The knight commander, thankfully so, understands what I was thinking. He then waves his hand to signal the other knights not to look.

My father continued scolding me, not giving me a chance to speak.

His voice was frustrated "So explain yourself, and don't you dare lie." He looks me in the eyes as if I were a criminal. No, I'm a criminal.

"..." When I remained silent, he furrowed his brow. I carefully lift my gaze from the ground and lock it on my father's brow, pretending to make eye contact. I was torn between lying and telling the truth, whatever it doesn't matter, I had already been scolded to the point that my ear stopped working.

I inhaled deeply. "I wanted to see the Marigold Garden."

"And you went there?" He scoffed in amazement, and he was about to lecture me again when he saw the sun was sinking.

"Yes..." I replied, awkwardly smiling.

"You could've gotten into big trouble; please don't do that again." He sounded exhausted.

In response, I nodded.

"Very well, let's go home." I came to a halt and did not pursue him. "Is there anything else?" He questioned while he waited for me.

My father furrowed his brow at my antics and nodded to the knight commander. I leaned up to the commander's ear and whispered, he chuckled and then looked at my father. "Bruno, your son is surely ambitious, make sure to bring him to the training camp."

In disbelief, my father's eyes widened. "Huh, for what?"

"Your son took an oath with your highness Prince Oswald to be his right-hand man," stated the knight commander. When he watched my father's mouth open in disbelief, the commander burst out laughing.

I bowed goodbye and went home after that scenario. The horseback ride back home was filled with silence. My father must have been thinking a lot. When we got home, he told me to go into my room and wait. I could hear my mother and father arguing while whispering, and I began to sweat as I imagined the arguments I was about to have with my family.

After some while, my mother called my name. My mother placed the plates on the wooden table as I sat down; dinner was already cold. The fireplace warmed the room, but it didn't melt my mother's frozen heart. With a frigid voice that sent shivers down my spine, she told me to eat. My father merely stares at me with pity in his eyes, mouthing 'good luck'.

When we were finished eating dinner, the criticism began.

"Now, what were you thinking? making an oath with Prince Ozwald! I know he's a role model for you," my mother groaned as she began to speak, "but do you have any idea what kind of trouble it could bring you?"

"I'm sure you're aware of how dangerous the noble life can be! just talking to one could transform you into their enemy! particularly the royal family! You've read plenty of books. You should know this," she smashed her hand against the table as my father patted her back for comfort.

Because of the throbbing headache, she began to rub her brow. "I'm disappointed, you've always been a smart child, I expected you to make better decisions." As she stood up from her seat, I cautiously nodded in response.

"I just want to ask you one thing will you ever regret this decision?" her voice sounded anxious.

I shook my head firmly since I couldn't think of anything to say.

My mother sighed, "Very well, I just want to remind you one more thing... This life is yours and not anyone else's, no matter what, don't regret it." She then went into her room. 

"Kari, I want you to realise that starting from now, me and your mother can't always be there for you, since you did this yourself." he grabbed my hand "This was a big decision, and I want you to realise that."

He hugged me. "This is too early for you, but if you believe this is the right path for you, then keep your head up, okay?" He ruffled my hair after that. 

"I'll go comfort your mother now, remember to apologise to her the next day. I'll inform you once you have to get ready to go to training camp, okay, don't let this take over your head." He then left, leaving me alone with the sound of the burning wood.

I chuckled at this nostalgic feeling I felt before. Maybe it's because I still have memories of my past life. I've never truly considered them my parents, but now it feels real. My heart aches. Parental love may seem harsh on the outside, but inside it is very warm and really ambiguous. Every once in a while, you realise this warmth, and it feels like you are drowning in regret because I cannot make them proud without leaving them first.