381 "I am Kung Fu Panda!", Genius vs Chosen One, Tai Lung learns Chi and The End of the Climax.

Everything seemed in slow motion for a second, the fight started with Tai Lung leaping like a beast towards Po. But The Dragón Warrior didn't focus on the terrifying snow leopard that was even taller than him but on Allen's words.

(FlashBack)

During a break in training, Po listened attentively to Allen's teachings with a contemplative gaze.

– "Your opponent is an old-school traditional master with many years of experience; he probably knows most martial arts. But you have an advantage… you're a panda, and no one has seen one in a long time, so fight like a panda, and everything will be fine..." –

'I see…' said Po (he really has no idea what he's supposed to do.)

– "You probably didn't understand anything I said, so just turn off your brain and act with the power of Kung Fu... Remember, Po, you are the Kung Fu Panda!" –

(End of FlashBack)

…

Claws, violence, power, rage...

Tai Lung showed no mercy when attacking Po; if any of his previous actions made someone think there was kindness in his heart, it was a mistake. Tai Lung had a warrior's honor, but it only extended to respecting those who earned it. For someone like Po, the greatest mercy he would show was a quick death.

Po didn't back down and with a wide grin, shouted, "I am the Kung Fu Panda!"

He then proceeded to hit Tai Lung with his big belly sending him flying through the air.

"Ahhhhh!"

The looks on the faces of the Furious Five and Shifu were a mix of disbelief and astonishment, even their mouths agape.

As Tai Lung began to fall, Po rammed him before he hit the ground, and both tumbled down the stairs to the Valley of Peace.

"Ahh, I didn't think this through!"

The panda yelled as he rolled comically down the stairs. The Furious Five and Shifu watched in shock as Po tumbled with Tai Lung.

Po's hat landed at Shifu's feet, which he picked up.

...

Having plenty of experience "rolling" downstairs, Po took the opportunity to adjust his body mid-air to always stay on top of Tai Lung as they crashed down the steps.

As a result, Tai Lung ended up crushed multiple times, even under Po's rear.

Deadpool (Updated Name) – See? Now *that's* cinema!

McDragon – Hey, Wade, how did you change your name? I realized it's an embarrassing nickname and prefer another...

Deadpool – Shut up! Don't you see we're witnessing absolute cinema?!

...

Tai Lung snapped out of his daze and, before hitting the bottom, grew furious and struck the stairs, destroying them but stopping his momentum.

"Panda!"

Tai Lung punched Po in the stomach, then kicked him, sending him flying into a house.

"Ahh!" Po crashed through the wall but didn't sustain any major injuries.

"Who in the world uses their stomach to attack?"

Tai Lung was furious at being humiliated this way; he couldn't predict Po's moves at all.

"They didn't even look like martial arts moves…"

Tai Lung shook his head, realigned a bone, and returned to his peak condition.

A piece of furniture fell from the house where Po had crashed, heading toward Tai Lung. He scoffed and shattered it, only to find it full of flour.

"What?!"

Tai Lung couldn't predict that attack either. Then Po fell from the sky onto him, and they both rolled down the street. Tai Lung used his pressure point technique, only to discover with horror that it didn't work on the panda's squishy body.

"I told you, I'm the Kung Fu Panda!"

Po used his stomach again to hit Tai Lung. This time, the leopard saw a momentary golden glow in Po's eyes.

"Urgh... ahhhh!"

The force was so great that Tai Lung crashed through three buildings before stopping.

By this point, the Furious Five and Shifu had made their way down the stairs to see what had happened.

"That's impossible!" Shifu, even as one of Po's masters, couldn't believe the absurdity of this fight where Tai Lung was being unilaterally beaten.

...

(Someday Allen will say "I Stream DC on Marvel." 🗿)

...

Nikky – Hahaha, it's the Kung Fu Panda!

MJ – I can't believe Allen actually taught Po the meme.

Starfire – I don't understand.

Cate – Let me explain. It's related to when the title of a movie or show is mentioned in the story. For example, "Invincible"—if the protagonist said, "I am Invincible," it would be a nod to the title and wouldn't sound off. But if the title is hard to fit into a phrase, it would be funny.

Hughie – Oh, I see, it's like if Butcher said, "I am The Boys!" lol

Butcher – Shut up, Hughie! I don't even like commenting, and you made me do it; forget me being your best man at your wedding!

Hughie – I'm sorry!

Starfire – Hahaha, then I could say during a battle, "I am the Teen Titans!"

Raven – Please don't… Star I beg you... don't do it, don't force me to that shame...

Kara – For Raven to have to beg… I don't even want to imagine the embarrassment…

Superman – That doesn't seem as funny… Batman says, "I am Batman," like four times a day.

Batman – I won't say it anymore…

Barbara – *Trying not to burst out laughing*

...

Allen's mood improved as he read the chat comments, but he couldn't reply as his attention was on Tai Lung.

"Don't get overconfident, Po..." Allen said seriously.

Oogway had a serene, serious look. "The Dragon Warrior has proven to be a unique fighter... and that's why Tai Lung was caught off guard..."

It was an undeniable fact that Tai Lung was humiliated; he didn't know Po would attack using his stomach, had never been hit like that, didn't know that his paralysis technique wouldn't work on Po due to his round body, and didn't know Po was so different from a conventional warrior.

But now… he knows.

A low growl came from the shadows within a wall, Tai Lung's eyes visible while his body remained hidden in the darkness.

"Panda... I admit I underestimated you..." Tai Lung stepped out of the shadows, walking without any apparent damage. "But that won't happen again."

Allen narrowed his eyes. One of the reasons for Tai Lung's defeat against Po was the unpredictability of Po's movements, but also due to Tai Lung's focused mindset. He was too obsessed with the Dragon Scroll, even thinking it was granting Po powers. So his priority was not to defeat Po but to obtain the dragon scroll.

"Tai Lung… you were once a master of the Jade Palace, once stood on this side... so you must know that being the Dragon Warrior is more than a title; it's a great responsibility..." Po removed his cape. "But you just want to be the Dragon Warrior because you think you deserve it."

"Shut up!"

"I won't!"

Tai Lung attacked Po with his claw, which seemed to leave a red afterimage. Po pulled in his stomach to dodge and used a pot to hit Tai Lung, who took the blow with his arm and then tore through the metal as if it were paper.

...

Allen noticed a flow of chi running through Tai Lung's arms, concentrating on his claws. "Did he really learn it…?"

Oogway shook his head, "What a waste of talent..."

It was a simple form, but Tai Lung had managed to manipulate his chi consciously. It's worth noting that even Oogway had to learn from the pandas how to properly use chi.

However, Tai Lung succeeded after being defeated by Allen.

Kratos – Indeed, he's talented... No wonder his master treated him like the Dragon Warrior...

Akeno – Oh, I see~ so it's a fight between a genius and the chosen one, how interesting~

Annie – Allen, who do you think will win now?

Allen watched as Tai Lung attacked Po with full intent to kill.

"I'd still bet on Po unless Tai Lung controls his anger..."

Allen's words were also heard by Oogway and the girls.

Oogway sighed "Anger clouds the vision… if it becomes too powerful, it clouds even the most controlled mind and turns dark, even contaminating the heart..."

...

Po had developed a good danger instinct after experiencing it many times during training, so he could identify which attacks would hurt and needed to be avoided at all costs.

The panda immediately knew he had to stay away from Tai Lung's claws. Tai Lung was faster, so Po ran, which infuriated Tai Lung, who began to chase him.

"Coward! How dare you call yourself the Dragon Warrior?!"

"I have my own way of fighting!"

Tai Lung sped up, and just as he was about to reach Po, he roared. Po did not miss this opportunity and threw a handful of garlic-filled gyoza right into Tai Lung's mouth.

"Urgh, panda!"

Tai Lung coughed, spitting out the gyoza. His leopard sense of smell was even keener than that of other felines, so the strong smell of garlic irritated him. He kept chasing Po through the village, though.

Po relied on his surroundings, grabbing whatever he could to fight back: household utensils, brooms, cauldrons, street stalls, and toys. All of it was used to keep Tai Lung from reaching him, which only enraged the leopard further. Tai Lung knew his claws could tear through the panda if he got close enough, but Po didn't let that happen.

Po rushed into a kitchen, causing chaos as he ran through and exited out the back while munching on a plate of dumplings.

Tai Lung emerged from the kitchen, covered in oil, food stains, and some kind of liquid Po had sprayed on him.

"Hey, leopard dude, don't you smell something burning?"

Tai Lung caught the scent, too, and looked around until he saw his tail was on fire. He glared blankly at Po. "I hate you so much, panda…" Then, his entire body ignited as he was covered in rice wine and oil.

Po smirked. "My dad always warns me to be careful when using huangjiu (rice wine). It's super flammable."

---

Rick – That panda is a genius at annoying people, haha!

Thor – I wouldn't want to be Tai Lung, haha!

Tony – What a cheeky guy!

McDragon – That panda is my hero! XD

Gwen – Allen, you've created a monster, haha.

Nikky – Tai Lung is going to be traumatized, whether he wins or loses.

Allen laughed lightly. "And it's not over yet, haha…"

---

Tai Lung ran and dove into a well. Moments later, he emerged with murderous rage, but just as he recovered, Po rammed into him with a cart full of fireworks.

"PANDA!!!"

"I can't stop!!" shouted the shameless panda as he clung to the cart, laughing and screaming at the same time. "This is amazing!"

Tai Lung stared in disbelief. Was the panda enjoying himself? This was the least martial and most surreal fight in history.

"I AM NOT YOUR JOKE!!!"

Tai Lung dug his paws into the ground, using his monstrous strength to stop the cart. Po's eyes widened, but he had a backup plan.

(Flashback)

"I'm going to die!"

Po lay sprawled on the ground, panting heavily. Allen stood over him, hands in his pockets. Po wanted to know how strong Tai Lung was, so he asked Allen to spar with him at Tai Lung's level. The result was Po being beaten over and over again.

"Maybe…" Allen said resignedly. It wasn't Po's fault, but Tai Lung was much stronger than he should have been.

"No!" Po started to run, but Allen appeared beside him and stuck out his foot, tripping him. "Ouch… That was unnecessary…"

Allen scoffed. "I don't think so. That's the fifteenth time you've run away."

"Kuh… Master Allen…"

"I told you it's not necessary to call me 'Master'... What is it?"

Po sat up with shining eyes. "You don't happen to know Tai Lung's weakness, do you? Maybe a weak spot or an allergy?!"

Allen rolled his eyes at the panda's shamelessness for wanting to use such tactics to defeat Tai Lung.

"Well, if you're desperate, there is one thing that can take down felines… but you'll have to get it yourself…"

(End of Flashback)

Po, still on the fireworks cart, reached into his pants and pulled out a bag of catnip.

Po smiled mischievously and, taking advantage of Tai Lung's occupied limbs, opened the bag and shoved it into Tai Lung's snout.

Immediately, Tai Lung lost his strength, his eyes glazed over, and he stopped resisting. Po grinned and directed the cart with fireworks toward a wooden ramp, launching them both into the sky. Tai Lung was carried up in the cart before it exploded.

---

The chat was left speechless, staring at the way Po had defeated Tai Lung. Wasn't this supposed to be a kung fu fight?

Superman - Po really used catnip? ... it's like kryptonite to a cat...

PercyJ - Hahahaha you have no honor panda!

Whis – Ohohoho!

Vados – Don't laugh, Whis… this...

Beerus – I don't know what to say…

Diana – Is this okay? hahaha

Antiope – Of course I wanted the panda to win, but as a warrior, there's something that doesn't let me fully accept this victory.

---

Po looked up at the sky where Tai Lung had exploded. For a moment, he felt he'd won. But Tai Lung's body was stronger and more resilient than it should have been in the original canon.

Tai Lung landed behind Po. When Po turned, he was struck in the stomach, and this time the blow carried chi, piercing through his natural defense. Po staggered back in pain. Tai Lung wasn't going to stop at one hit and continued his assault.

"Ugh!"

Each strike broke through Po's defenses.

"You'll never understand the agony of being born destined for glory, only to rot in a cell for twenty years!"

Po grew angry and tried to fight back, but Tai Lung dodged.

"Every day, every hour, every minute, I had to keep my mind in check to avoid going mad!"

Tai Lung grabbed Po by the leg, spun him around, and hurled him into the sky. He jumped up and delivered a kick so powerful it cracked some of Po's ribs.

Po crashed into the ground but managed to roll aside before Tai Lung landed, creating an explosion where he would have hit.

"And when I get out?! I find a panda chosen as the Dragon Warrior, one who's never trained in kung fu or any martial art in his life…"

Tai Lung was disappointed: in the world, destiny, Shifu, Oogway, and himself. Tai Lung was disillusioned by the realization that the position he had coveted his entire life now seemed worthless.

"Po, you have talent… but it's a pity you won't live long enough to develop it…"

---

Nikky – Allen, Po's going to die!

Allen smiled. "Calm down, Nikky… that panda is my student…"

...

Po looked wearily at Tai Lung, "I heard what you said before and now. You went through a lot of bad things, but you also did bad things, and that will never be right..."

Po stood up sore and tired but with the will to fight. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Tai Lung did not want to postpone the inevitable any longer; Chi is the energy of life, so Tai Lung could use it to grow his claws twice as long, and this time, he would kill Po.

"You weren't worthy to be the Dragon Warrior either... POOOO!!... huh?!"

Tai Lung's claw stopped mid-strike as he saw Po being enveloped in a golden aura.

"Impossible!" Tai Lung refused to accept it; a panda mastering chi after just weeks of training?!

The glow from Po left Shifu and the Furious Five speechless.

The Chat was angry at Allen because they didn't know about this, leading them to the conclusion that Allen had secretly trained Po even more off-camera.

Po, still with his eyes closed, began to float, tracing lines in the air as if drawing.

"It's impossible, not even a genius could achieve that so easily…"

The majestic aura disappeared leaving everyone unable to keep up with events.

"You're right, I'm not a master of chi…" Po smiled mischievously as he landed in front of Tai Lung without the previous glow. "But I can do this…"

Tai Lung watched in disbelief as Po clenched his fist and struck him exactly as Allen had done, only this time Po's fist didn't stop.

"Skadoosh," Whisper Po.

A wave of chi rippled outward in all directions, echoing as it spread.

===

A/N: Po learning from the best at screwing his opponents 🗿

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