1 I'm just confused

It's been 3 years and 6months since I finished my Higher studies...

This might be a result of my addiction to cartoons especially animes... But I still tend to believe in fantasies.... I still believe I'm special, what a joke I am..

As the saying goes "Ignorance is Bliss," I tend to remove myself from reality by reading fantasy comics manga or manually or by watching animes..... I love them a lot...and I keep on telling myself that such fantasies exists as long as I believed in it. I'm certain this is the reason why I have failed in my studies..... I should just die... What is wrong with me.... This is what I keep on telling myself.

I wish I could go back in time like those time travelling heroes and change my past.... The personality I have now.... I just don't deserve to live.. Nonono.... I shouldn't have even existed... They say people's personality is a result of their past experiences and behaviours.... I want to change this life....but still, I think that if I was given the choice of travelling back in time to try to change my life and dying.... I would choose death..why!??because a person will still always be the same, a person's personality can't be changed that easily and I don't want the 'me' to live a pitiful life like this ever again ..... I might be tempted but still.... I should choose death because I don't want to live like this again...

I feel sorry for my mom and dad... I love them truly but I've never shown them.... (I should just die) and if I had never been born they would have lived a more happier life... Sorry mom and dad...

I wish I had never been born...

This was how I spent my teenage days including my 20th and 21th years..... I never thought that a person's life could change so much in a matter of seconds... Minutes and days....

I won't say my wishes and dreams came true but still.....

"MY LIFE WAS CHANGING"