8 The past is in the past

He always thought I was a coward. And innocent and the one who can't fight for herself. And yet , he took advantage of my innocence, my wealth and my love.

I guessed he'll be the one who is going to volunteer because he never came to this place. And this was the time he volunteer

I just knew this much about him. Just the times when he volunteered, his nature , family and his full name. And oh , birthday.

I remember I met him twice, he did the same thing to me again. I was the type of person who used to forgive someone if they are nice to me. But WAS . I have changed totally in this past 9 years . Thanks to Ayesha.

If she wasn't there, I would have turned to skeleton by now in my grave. No. Seriously. I have tried to die. twice.

The first time was when I went there and found a job as a waitress. Ayesha was the manager of the restaurant. And hell yeah of course they didn't knew about my family and my past. I was very talkative and childish back then , before those incident took place with him.

The view which caused me to go for the thought of suicide was :

9 years ago:

I was going through the streets , depressed. Suddenly my eyes fell on a blonde boy just like him, was going with a brunette just like me , their arms linked and the boy was kissing her cheek.

I don't know , I never felt jealous . Never ever in my whole life.

But the time I don't know what happened to me I was sooooooooooo jealous, sad , depressed and lonely at the same time that I just ran back to my flat. A flat I shared with a girl named Tina. Oh yeah Tina was also my bestie. Just like Ayesha. So thanks to her too.

I just went up my flat and ran to my room. I didn't hear Tina calling me in the background. I just went to my room , shut the door and took a blade from my bathroom. And then baam.  I did it. It was hurting more than I thought. Really.

And suddenly I collapsed to the floor and everything went blurry before I saw Tina running in my room.

The next time I opened my eyes, I saw I was in a hospital bed. With Tina and Ayesha by my side , their eyes full of water.

I really hoped that I would wake up in heaven. Or even hell. I really didn't care. But what I saw was I was still in that freaking huge world where he lived too.

But when I saw they had tears in their eyes, I felt sudden relief that someone cared.

But while doing it, I really didn't thought about what would happened to my parents if I really died.

When they saw me I woke up, they rushed to me to hug me. So emotional.

They sat back and looked at me with a stern look.

So yeah, I had to open up about everything. About my identity, about my family, about my past, about everything.

And then they burst out in tears. They were crying sooooooooooo much. Omg. And at that moment our friendship grew more stronger. Ayesha was sobbing so loudly which caused me to burst into laughter. She almost choked. And a stream of waterfall was coming throw Tina's eyes.

But they stopped crying when the doctor came in.

"Miss Natasha" the doctor called out my name.

" Are you feeling well?" He asked with a sad yet bossy face.

" Yeah , a lot better. That what happens when you share your feelings" I said with a smile as I looked at Tina and Ayesha, who had red puffy eyes.

" Sorry?" The doctor said.

"Oh no. Nothing. Sorry . Hehehe" I apologized

" Miss , I would prefer you to not to move your hand much. Because you had a very deep cut in your hand. You could have died. You're too young. And pls do not try to do this thing again. This is a very very dangerous thing. It could put your life at a full stop." He half scolded me. Or maybe fully.

"Sorry doctor. I don't know what had got me. I didn't think about what I was doing. I don't know ... I really don't know. But I do know and believe that I will never do any shit like that . Never ever in my life " I said with a cofident voice.

He sighed. " And do eat a lot . You're body is lacking in protein and calcium. And specially fruit. Pomegranate must or any red vegetables or fruits. Because you had a bit of loss of blood. And it might make you a bit weaker than before. But do it won't take time to heal. I believe. " He said and left the room.

" Sorry guys for dragging you into this. I ... I really don't know what was going through my mind except jealousy and... Hatred" I finished my sentence with a cracking voice.

"It's not your fault darling. But it's because you didn't share your identity with us. Or past. And most importantly, you hid it from us. I thought we were best of friends." Ayesha said with a sad face and Tina nodded.

" Okay fine. I am sorry. "  I chuckled

"But why would that shit do to you that ?" Tina asked.

"I..I don't know. I don't know what I ever did to him . I will never ever forgive him. I guess he did that because I was blind in love and of course innocent. He took advantage of my innocence." I said as a tear went down my cheek.

" I believe you will never ever forgive him. Do you believe in Karma?" Ayesha asked.

" Mmmhhmmmmm I guess. Ehehehe" I chuckled when I saw her seriousness.

" I trust that something will happen to him like that. I know . I believe"  Tina added.

" You know, all this time I thought I had no one here. Because my family is back there. I thought I was alone. But I guess , I got a family here. I thought no one cared about me. But instead I am seeing I got 2 besties here, who I didn't thought as . Please forgive me. From now whatever will happen, you both will be the one who will get to know it at first. I love you. " I said as we all started crying after listening to my emotional speech. And then we had a group hug.

That's how we became BBF. <3