18 Ch. 18 - His Greatest Secret

He thought about what happened. It was over in just a few moments. He killed someone innocent in just a few moments. If he was not a monster then who was?

Whenever he killed someone, he would always faint right afterwards. Then he would wake up a few hours later, start crying and regret his own existence for a while, reflect on his mistakes and then leave it all behind.

That is how it used to be, but now it was different. Ever since that time when he almost killed Jin Long, he had changed. He felt as if he could never to leave that accident behind.

He had never enjoyed killing people, but before he did not care as much as he did now.

He just ended up thinking that 'What is already done can not be changed. Better leave it behind.'

Ever since he met his dear father, Jin Long, his way of thinking changed. Ever since his father had sacrificed his own life to keep him safe, he finally understood the value and importance of a human life.

He always treated animals and beasts with kindness, because they always cared for him. Believe it or not, but he had not met a single human being whom had treated him nicely and with respect… not until he met Jin Long. That encounter changed him for the better.

This was the first life he threw away since he had met his father, Jin Long… The first time he had killed since his way of thinking had changed. Now he could not just leave it all behind. He could not just burn the body, scatter the ashes and forget all about it.

He hated himself more and more for every life he just threw away, but rather than crying about it for the rest of his life, he decided not to think about it. He thought that if he just forgot about it, it would hurt less.

Every time he thought about it, his guilt would take over. He would start crying and tell all of his regrets out loud. Even if nobody was there to listen, he would just speak with the wind ad hope for it to carry his sorrows away together with his words.

He promised himself to always put up a facade in front of others. To never let them understand the sorrow, hate and regret he held locked up in his heart.

He did not want others sympathy. He just wanted someone to to listen to him and actually care. Someone who would never judge him. Someone who would always believe in him.

He did not wish to be famous or have tons of people around him. All he wanted was one single person. One single person who would always try to understand him. Someone who would never be fooled by the facade he would always show in front of everyone else.

He knew that he would never find someone like that, but he still longed for it. It was his greatest wish as well as his greatest secret.

To him, wishes were one out of many things that made one weak. That is why he never told anyone about them. He did not want anyone to think that he was weak.

He remembered how he felt when his uncle Niao told him that he had absolutely nothing… that he was absolutely nothing. He felt hopeless… useless…

He knew that he would never be able to forget that moment of disappointment and despair. He did not want to feel like that ever again. His uncle Niao had gotten his hopes up by telling him that his father Long had said that he was a genius. Then he crushed all of those hopes when he helped Xiao Huoyan with his awakening.

He decided to bury his greatest wish. He decided to do his best to become stronger than anyone else. If he became the strongest, then no one would dare to do anything to him. Everyone would have to treat him with respect.

As Xiao Huoyan was in deep thoughts, someone came rushing in through the door. Even though someone came in through the door behind him, Xiao Huoyan did not feel like standing up yet, so he just sat on the floor. He did not even turn around to see who it was. He just used Heaven's Eyes to see who it was.

He did not recognize the man standing behind him. He thought about simply just asking about the man's identity but decided to just find out by himself. He took a little peek inside of the man's head. He wanted to make it clear to that man, that he was not someone whom that man could ever even dream of messing with, so he decided to show off that domineering aura of his.

"Do you have something important to say or are you just going to stand there all day, Xiong Hu? I do have somewhere to be, so make it quick!"

"Uh… I-I just…"

At first, Xiong Hu looked startled, but he quickly came back to his senses and started speaking.

"Lord Jin Niao wanted me to come and g-get you."

"Get me where?"

"I-I can not say…"

"Okay, you do not really have to. I will find out by myself then."

Xiao Huoyan turned around and stood up. In just a mere second he already faced Xiong Hu directly. He shot him a glance and then turned around again, yet still standing.

"Hm… Not that far…Rosewood City…"

"H-HOW D-DID YOU?!?!"

"Do not worry. I just read your mind, no need to react like that."

"You… You what?!"

"Are you deaf or something? I. Read. Your. Mind."

"…"

"So, are you going to help me get there or not?"

"O-Oh, yes! I came here to help you get there."

"Hm… Then who am I?"

"What are you t-talking about? Y-you are Jin Niao's son, Jin Xin…"

"No, I am not."