~~~~FORTY ONE~~~~

Like our relationship so young and new to the world where we were undermined.

Earnestly I wished that like the tree we had planted it would evolve into an everlasting wonder in this land.

Even if time would steal our memories of one another, they'd forever remain alive in my heart.

All I needed to do was look at that tree and be reminded that we would remember us forever.

Nathan Hart.

We ascended up the slope, to our usual place we had grown to call our very own.

The sky was very bright and beautiful and the chill was turning to warmth.

There was a smooth rush of the wind, a peace and a lingering tranquil.

Once we were up on top, we had the view of the rest of the town beneath our feet.

One could make out the very loud noises of the people, rising above buildings to declare their bustle.

The view was just as radiant at day as I remembered it to be a couple of nights ago.

We had not met quite much but in the short time we had spent apart after that beautiful night of confessions, I missed him so much.

I was entirely feeling happy, I was feeling alright, I was on cloud nine, I had totally forgotten about my awful pasts.

I eagerly looked to the future, the dawn of a very new day, having the chance to see Conan, just so that I could love him more and more.

The attention that he gave me was exquisite and each and every time, it gave me the reason I felt I needed to live.

One moment, I was caught up in the history of a place I called home.

Outside without a building but just being there with the person I knew I dearly loved.

"Nathan?" He called my name.

I turned to him only to get a glimpse of those his beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

"What?" I asked after a moment of being lost in my own thoughts for a while.

"The pot." He said.

I looked down a my left arm and then I stared at the pot that I held in my hands.

"Oh, yes, the pot." I said.

"You did not tell me what for." Conan said to me.

"Follow me." I replied and led the way towards the edge of the small cliff.

With the sun shining on us all, illuminating the entire place, all the trees that had once been covered in snow, slowly began to shine brightly green.

"Here." I said as I pointed to the spot right in front of my feet.

Conan came and moved around, stopping in front of me.

I knelt down with the pot, took hold of my bag, opened it and I pulled out a small shovel.

I started to dig the ground as Conan knelt in front of me, feeling a little intimidated to look straight at him.

I was already becoming so shy, something that I had not expected and constantly, I kept on telling myself that it was simply because I was having a hard time getting used to that new relationship.

"Let me help you Nathan." Conan said.

I looked up at him that very instant without thinking twice.

I studied his eyes, slowly and closely and I could not help but smile myself.

"Yes." I replied as I placed the pot in front of us.

Slowly, we uprooted the small seedling that still sat in the pot and with both our hands, we carefully lowered it into the ditch we had dug.

We then started to bury its roots in the soil and once we were done it looked as good as new.

"Fresh, an essence of life." I said.

"Which seedling is it?" Conan asked.

"A peach tree seedling." I replied.

"Where did you get it from?" Conan asked me once again, a look of curiosity mirrored in his eyes.

"I bought it." I replied.

"Why?" He asked so astounded by my reply.

"It is a very long story." I replied.

"If you cannot tell me all your long stories Nathan, whom will you tell them to?" Conan asked.

"You are right, I hope you can listen and I hope you can understand." I replied.

"I will." Conan said assuringly.

"You know, sometimes, in this life we live, it is all like a tree, there is a time, a season we are born.

A time we are very small seeds and a time we start to grow roots deeper in what we believe.

We shoot out of the ground and break into the light, we blossom, we flourish and in the end, we constitute life.

Earlier, in the time that we spent apart, I took a stroll in town.

I came upon a stall where there was an old woman selling seedlings this young of different kinds and species.

Once I saw this one, I thought about it for a while and in the end I felt convicted to buy it." I replied.

"But why of all the peach tree?" Conan asked me.

"It is very beautiful, unlike all other plants, when it grows, its leaves become pink." I replied.

"So you bought it because it grows pink leaves?" Conan asked.

"I bought it because it is unique." I replied.

"Oh." He said to me, amazed by what I had said.

Judging from his expression, it was very hard to tell whether he was understanding a thing or two that I was saying.

Nevertheless, I persisted to continue talking hoping that he might pick up along the way.

"I chose this tree so that any time I might come here, five, ten or even twenty years from now, it reminds me of you." I said as I looked at him.

He was silent for a while looking convinced at me finally.

I simply smiled at him and he smiled at me.

"You are the reason I have to love this tree." He said to me.

"It is a symbol of our relationship, it is a symbol of my undying love for you.

Like it is different from other plants, so are we from other couples.

We are unique, sharing a passion and love that is forbidden but we have slowly become a part of it.

If there was to be a time in the future I would not have you by my side.

Either miles away or uf death itself do us part, I will look up to this tree when its grown and remember." I said.

"Our love?" He said.

"Yes, our love, undying, strange but to me, every inch wonderful." I replied.

"I never want to lose you, even if there is that time, I would rather die with you." Conan said as he moved closer to me and held my left hand.

"Sometimes in this life, we can not get to decide our fate Conan, never to I dream of seeing you in misery because I am gone.

I only want to promise you that if you go before me, I will care for this tree every night and day.

I will watch it, save it from animals and even weeds, fertilise the ground if I have to.

Dig it up and carry it with me where I choose to settle forever because I wish that it never dies." I replied.

"Then I will promise you the same Nathan." He said to me.

"For love?" I said looking deep into his soul.

"For our love." He replied looking back into mine.

I felt his intense gaze penetrating deep and I was frozen that very second staring at him in awe.

He pulled me into a warm hug and embraced me tightly not wanting to let me go.

For a while, I basked in the happiness that circulated in the area that surrounded the both of us.

We calmly stared at the peach tree seedling, it was only a couple of inches tall with a thin stem and some leaflets.

"I think we should give it a name." Conan said.

"What?" I asked as I turned to look at him again.

"I think we should give it a name." Conan said once again.

"Are you really serious." I asked for confirmation.

"Very." Conan replied.

"Hmmm." I muttered.

"Any suggestions?" He asked me.

"Be patient I am thinking of some." I replied.

He simply smiled.

"There is no need to over think this." Conan said.

"Well, the fact that you mentioned it I think it is actually necessary that we named it." I said supportive of his idea.

I started to think for a while as Conan scratched his head supposedly thinking of a name as well.

"Any luck yet?" He asked me.

"Not really." I replied.

He looked at me and for a moment, I tried to look away but I did feel the intensity of his gaze on me.

"Do you know something Nathan?" Conan said.

"What?" I replied.

"I do not think you actually noticed but you look most beautiful when you are thinking." Conan replied.

I was flattered and I could feel myself blushing after listening to his praises.

There was always something about his abundant affection that drove me crazy and much as I was always suprised, his tongue was magical.

He had the most romantic choice of words in the most critical moments we ravished in our own love.

At that point, half frozen and half awake, an idea sparked into my head.

"Beautiful." I said.

"Beautiful?" Conan muttered.

"Yes Beautiful." I reechoed myself out.

"What is it now?" Conan asked.

"May be we do not need another name." I replied.

"Why?" Conan asked me.

"Because to us, it can simply be our very own BEAUTIFUL TREE." I replied.

"Beautiful tree." He said in agreement with me.

"It is, has been and it always will be." I replied.

We both smiled.

It was quicker than I had expected but slowly, our faces started to close the distance between us.

I was drawn studying his cherry red lips and looking at his beautiful and sparkling, demanding brown eyes.

I felt it, the romance overflowing in the atmosphere around us and the bliss so much and excess.

There was a rush of emotions in my head and I had ceased to comprehend whatever it was that was going on.

Deep down I knew it that no matter how many times I forced myself out of awkwardness to abstain from whatever was coming my way, I wanted it badly.

I was young and desperate to know and my curiosity always had the best of me, it got me to feel that I was in deed supposed to know.

I could trust Conan because I loved him, my whole experience in his company and everything that he had done had given me that assurance.

It all felt worth it and I kept on pushing myself that a little try alone would not hurt.

I could suddenly feel his nose slightly brushing against mine and our lips only seconds from meeting,  we heard his phone ring.

Pulling away instantly, Conan took hold of it and decided to answer.

"Hello?" Conan spoke and instantly I zoned out.

I was immersed into my own ocean of thoughts.

"What were you thinking?" I asked myself.

"What if the phone had not rung?" I further questioned.

I could not find my own answers, it was all too difficult for me.

At that moment, I felt slightly embarassed and only wished that I had been dreaming.

After Conan was done talking, he called me loud and clearly that I immediately responded.

"Are you alright?" He asked me.

"Yes." I replied.

"Sure, because I called you a couple of times but you did not listen." Conan said.

"I am sorry." My tongue slipped.

"You shouldn't be." Conan said to me.

"No, it is largely my fault." I said.

"It is no one's fault." Conan emphasized.

I could not put up arguing so I nodded in acceptance.

"There you go." He said to me as he slowly massaged my shoulder as we gazed at the town below.

"They are very noisy." I said in an attempt to change the topic.

"Well, then do not care about them." Conan said.

"You make it all easy, just tell me how much could you give up for me?" I could not help myself but ask.

"Do you have any faith in me?" He replied with a question.

"I do, more than you have in yourself." I replied.

He took hold of my left arm and then he placed it on the left side of his chest.

I could feel his heart beat steady and calm, as he inhaled and exhaled about the same way as he had normally done.

"Listen to my heart." Conan said.

I heed and felt every single heart beat reflecting gusto and confidence.

"Do you listen?" He asked me.

"Yes." I replied in a very soft tone.

"Then I want you to know this Nathan and that I speak from the bottom of my heart.

The very sincerest manner and way I can be, in the most sober mind and without any form of duress.

My heart will always have you and you alone, you are the only person I will ever love.

I will love you, protect you with my whole existance until my very last breath." Conan said to me.

I knew he was not lying, I felt it in his heart.

"I couldn't love you any less." I said with tears starting to run down my face.

"I will love you forever." Conan calmy replied.