5 5

"Who the hell are you?!"

Harry sighed and lifted the cap up a bit, "You know, for someone who has sent letters asking me to stay at his house, you don't seem very happy to see me, Ron." Ron looked at the familiar face, but was still having a hard time placing it.

"Harry! I missed you! How have you been? You look so different. Wait...did you get new glasses? Oh, did you finish your homework like you said you would? I have your birthday present in my bag. Are you...working out?"  Harry looked down to the bushy haired chatterbox and gave a wry smile before he gently put a hand over her mouth and said, "Ok, now breathe. To answer your questions: I missed you too, Hermione. Yes, I did get new glasses and clothes and I finished my homework the first week of break. You didn't have to get me anything for my birthday, but I appreciate it. Lastly, I am working out. I think I answered all your questions and you are no longer in danger of passing out." 

Hermione blushed, but was comforted and shocked when Harry hugged her. She was used to him flinching whenever she touched him and he had never initiated a hug before. 

Ron had his mouth agape and was in utter shock, "H-Harry?" Harry cockily smirked, "So, still want me to spend some time at The Burrow?" Before Ron could continue to make a fool out of himself the twins shoved him to the side and did their twin-talk; which wasn't creepy but it was annoying since it took forever for them to get to the point.

"Harrikins, it's good…"

"To see you. Looks like our…"

"Little Harrikins, is no longer…"

"That scared ickle firstie…"

"Anymore. He has started his…"

"Journey to become a man, eh Forge?"

"Too right, Gred."

The twins ended their little show by dramatically wiping fake tears from their eyes. Then, they were shoved aside by the matriarch of the Weasley family. "Fred! George! That is enough!" she sighed,  "Hello Harry dear, I'm just so happy to finally meet you in person. My name is Molly and this is Arthur. You of course know my boys, but this is my daughter, Ginevra." Molly pushed the little ginger girl towards him, which caused the girl to squeal and shoot her mother a piercing glare. Ginevra went wide eyed at her close proximity to her crush, Harry. She then hid behind her twin brothers, but was still trying to catch glimpses at her knight in shining armor. 'Yeah, Molly is definitely trying to hook me up with their 11 year old daughter. It's crazy to think that it's perfectly normal to offer up their youngest daughter like that. Not to mention manipulative and weird... We'll see how this pans out, but I never really liked the Weasley's all that much anyways; in the books they are a little shady. I will have to keep my guard up.'

"Err… right. It's a pleasure to meet you all. Thank you for the Christmas presents and for letting me stay in your home for these final two weeks of summer break." Harry then swiveled towards Hermione's parents. "Hello, my name is Harry Potter. It's wonderful to meet you." 

Hermione's parents smiled and introduced themselves, "Hello Harry, I'm Wendell and this lovely lady at my side is Monica and it's wonderful to meet you as well. Our little gem has told us a great deal about you"

Harry smiled,"Good things I hope." 

Monica giggled, "Very good things and from the way Hermione has yet to let you go, I expect quite a few more in the future." That was when Hermione realized she had yet to let go of Harry, blushed and jumped back like she had been shocked. 

Harry laughed along with the parents. Of course Harry noted the scowl on Ron's face and glares from the Weasley females. 'Yup, seems like we will be cutting ties with the Weasleys. No big loss.'

Once the introductions had been made and most of the shopping had been taken care of Hermione dragged Harry and Ron towards the bookstore which was actually quite packed. They entered the store and Harry steeled himself for the joke that was Lockhart. Harry pulled his cap down low and tried getting to the defense and dueling ailes and thought he was home free until he felt someone grab his shoulder from behind. 

Harry reacted and hip tossed his attacker. He didn't realize what he had done until he saw a body go through a book laden table. Which caused a large amount of women in the store to shriek. After the cacophony died down a blonde haired man in mustard yellow robes jumped up and cheerily declared, "Well done Harry, I see you have read my books and are putting them into practice!"

Harry recognized the man immediately but pretended to not know who had grabbed him. 'So you want to play this game huh. Ok, I got something for ya.' Harry narrowed his eyes and loudly declared, "Someone please call the aurors, this man just tried to touch me inappropriately!" 

~~~ 5 minutes earlier~~~

Gilderoy Lockhart was enjoying himself immensely being the center of attention at his book signing. He was pleased as punch making witches of all ages swoon. He had just finished signing an autograph for a redheaded house witch when he happened to catch a boy with unique green eyes try to get passed the line when he realized he had just spotted The Harry Potter.

One of two wizards more popular than himself and as any smart wizard under the spotlight knew you just had to take advantage of such great opportunities. He could see it now, The Boy Who Lived and the five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award on the front page of The Prophet. 

It would make his announcement of becoming the DADA professor legendary. He quickly made his way to the boy with the muggle hat and put on his biggest smile and grabbed the boy's shoulder. That was when everything went to shit. Before he could even open his mouth to make his announcement he realized he was now looking at the ceiling of the bookstore and then came the pain.

He realized he was on the ground on what was left of a table and surrounded by his books. He realized he had to salvage the situation but you don't get to be five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award and award winning author without being able to think quickly. He jumped up, smile back in place and ignoring the pain he was feeling and looked at the furious viridian orbs of The Boy Who Lived. 

He was slightly taken aback by the vehemence of the boy's glare which caused his smile to dim slightly. He quickly recovered and dusted himself off, gave the brightest smile he had ever given and saw The Daily Prophet photographer snapping pictures like his life depended on it. "Well done Harry, I see you have read my books and are putting them into practice!" He did not like the way the child's eyes narrowed and then the little brat uttered the 13 words that would spell his doom. 

"Someone please call the aurors this man just tried to touch me inappropriately!"

~~~Present~~~

Harry watched the man's eyes bulge and jaw hit the floor all to the background music of scandalized witches gasping.

It just so happened that the two aurors that had been patrolling the Alley were walking by the book store when they heard a child yell out a summons for aurors. 

They quickly made their way through the flabbergasted crowd to catch a man eyeing a little boy in a muggle hat like he was a piece of meat. When they found out the boy who had just fought off the attacker was The Bloody Boy Who Lived they knew they had to quickly resolve this or they could have riots on their hands. They sent off a Patronus to summon Amelia Bones and back up.

They quickly cast a Petrifucus Totalus on the culprit. 

Auror Gawain Robards had his partner take the suspect to the holding cells before the crowd decided to take the law into their own hands. It was common knowledge that there were two things that could set the British Wizarding Society to riot in the streets. Quidditch and anything befalling Harry Potter.

Harry was impressed at how everything turned out. 'Holy shit! I was just messing around I didn't think that this whole situation would snowball like this...Muhahaha! This is freaking great!' Harry's inner musings were cut short when he felt a tiny elven hand squeeze his bicep. 'Kreacher got the notebook already?! What the hell is going on? I'll have to ask him during our debrief.'

Harry was starting his inner monologue when he realized that the auror had asked him a question. "Im sorry, what was that? It seems I was distracted."

"It's quite alright Mr. Potter, you have just gone through a harrowing experience. I just asked if it would be alright if you followed me into the manager's office to get your statement?" 

"Certainly sir, that's no problem but could you please contact my attorney Ted Tonks. He told me that if I were ever to deal with aurors, he should be present."

"Of course, Mr. Potter. I will send him a Patronus right away." 

As soon as the auror had stepped away he was hit by the bushy haired missile. Which was followed by two brunettes and a gaggle of Gingers.

"Oh Harry, are you alright?! He didn't hurt you did he? Are you sure you're alright?

Harry sighed and put a finger to her lips to stop the questions. "Hermione, breathe. I'm alright, he just surprised me when he grabbed me and tried to pull me in close."

"Oh Harry, we had just gotten to his table to have his books autographed when he jumped up and headed straight to you then we just saw him try to grab you. It was awful."

Molly decided that she should jump in to defend her favorite author. "Harry dear, surely you overreacted. I'm quite sure such an upstanding wizard wouldn't try to do anything untoward. I expect you to apologize to him when everything is cleared up. I will have to let Professor Dumbledore know of this, I'm sure he has taught you not to fib. Now come along we will find that auror and let him know that this was all just a misunderstanding."  After her proclamation the Granger's whipped their heads to the Weasley matriarch and looked at her like she grew another head.

Harry frowned but quickly schooled his features to neutrality. "Mrs. Weasley I am not 'fibbing' I was looking at books when a strange man grabbed my shoulder and tried to pull me along with him. I don't know him, so I thought I was being assaulted. I will not be going anywhere, the auror said he will speak with me in a moment and I will do as he says."

Molly realized she may have overstepped but then the Weasley hardheadedness kicked in. "Well then, if that's how you feel, we will just await Professor Dumbledore so he can straighten this misunderstanding out. I'm just glad I floo called Minerva to let The Professor know you were in trouble." 'This bitch did not just do that! Fuck! I just screwed myself over. I didn't want Albus to know that I'm the Heir of Black. Which will be what happens, when Dumbledore sticks his creeper nose into it and meets Ted. Fuck!'

"Mrs. Weasley, while I appreciate your concern, I don't know why Professor Dumbledore would be needed. This event happened outside of school. If anything, I will contact my aunt and uncle, they are my guardians after all." The Grangers nodded at Harry's comment. Molly flushed either in embarrassment or anger but before she could build up a head of steam. Arthur stepped in. 

"Molly wobbles, Harry is correct, he must give his statement and this did occur outside of school so he should contact his guardians." Arthur was cut off as auror Robards returned with a stern looking woman with a monocle followed by Ted. 

"Apologies for the delay Mr. Potter, if you will follow me." Harry nodded and started to follow but before they could take a few steps Molly stated she was going as well.

"Mrs. Weasley if Harry wishes for you to be there for support then you may follow otherwise please wait here." Amelia bones stated in a no nonsense tone. Mrs. Weasley opened her mouth to retort but Harry cut her off.

"Thank you for the concern Mrs. Weasley, but I will be fine." He then got the store clerk's attention and said, "Please, charge my vault for any damages I caused and for the books for both the Weasleys and Hermione since our outing has been ruined by something that happened to me. Make sure they all get the new books and do not take their money."

Arthur started to protest but Harry cut him off, "Mr. Weasley, not only have I ruined our outing but I also would like to gift your family their books because you and yours got me presents for Christmas and I never got you anything. I will be offended if you refuse. Just think of this as a late Christmas present to my favorite family of redheads." Harry gave a "sincere" smile.

Arthur let out a sigh and simply thanked Harry. Harry then followed the aurors and Ted to the office they had commandeered. Once in the office Harry asked if he could speak with Ted in private for a moment. Amelia nodded and Ted set up a privacy charm. 

"Eventful day, eh Harry?" Ted asked with a smile. 

Harry snorted and told Ted what happened but asked if he could push for Lockhart to be interrogated under veritaserum and asked if he was the one who had actually done all those deeds that he claimed in his books."

Ted looked at Harry intrigued as to why he should push for that, when all of a sudden Harry snatched a beetle off his sleeve, threw it on the ground and squashed it under his shoe. Ted raised an eyebrow.

Harry shrugged and stated, "I hate bugs." Ted shrugged and decided to ask why he should push for the serum. Harry tried not to smile but said that when he was perusing through the books and found that there was no way Lockhart could have done a few of those things since according to his own books he was halfway around the world doing another. Most importantly, say you are only the Potter family attorney. I may have to show some cards today but that doesn't mean I have to show all of them."

Ted quickly understood as a harried Albus Dumbledore stepped into the office followed by a clearly upset and sneering Severus Snape. Ted nodded to Harry and then released the privacy charm

Ted nodded to Amelia and she took her dicta-quill and set it up on the desk with plenty of parchment for the statement. As she was about to start Albus bloody Dumbledore and Severus Snape pushed passed her auror guard at the door to get to Harry.

"Amelia my dear, how are you this fine afternoon?" Albus asked with his grandfatherly best. 

Amelia frowned at the casual address he gave her knowing full well that he did that to undermine everyone. "I am well Albus, but as you can see I am in the middle of my duties here, so if you and Severus would please step outside we would greatly appreciate it since we have so little room here."

"Ah yes, I heard there was a bit of a misunderstanding earlier with Harry and Gilderoy. Molly told me all about it. I'm sure that if Harry apologizes we can all move past this. What do you say, my boy"

Harry and everyone else in the room besides Snape looked at Albus like he was an idiot. 'This man is so out of touch, it's ridiculous. Maybe he is not so much an evil Dumbles but more a senile one. I can't believe my goof snowballed into this clusterfuck but since we are all here I might as well make something out of it. Now, how are we gonna fuck this pig?'

Harry opened his mouth to retort, but of course before he could even utter a word, fucking Hanz Gruber had to get his two cents in. 

"Not even in school and still going out of your way for attention, Potter. The arrogance, just like your father." 

At this point, Ted stepped in, "Excuse me, as Mr. Potter's attorney I fail to see why Mr. Dumbledore or Severus Snape are involved. This is clearly not on Hogwarts property so it is not a school matter?"

Snape sneered and was going to give his condescending retort but was cut off by Amelia Bones. "I completely agree, gentlemen please leave, this is a private civil matter not a school matter so your presence here is unneeded and in the case of Mr. Snape unwanted. Now you can either leave willingly or we can take you to the station. I personally hope you resist Severus, I've had some questions for you but for some reason you never seem to be available? I wonder why that is?" 

Severus Snape paled and quickly made his way out of the small office and quickly apperated back to the safety of his dungeons.

Albus frowned, but he wasn't Albus Dumbledore for nothing. "I realize Harry was not in school at the time but he did assault a professor so it does indeed make it a school matter. You see Gilderoy will be the DADA Professor this year. So I will be staying." His eyes twinkled in smug satisfaction.

Amelia ground her teeth but had to comply. She then turned to Harry to start taking his statement and asked, "So, Mr Potter, what happened today?" 

Harry was glaring at Dumbledore. 'This bastard is already writing a narrative without knowing the situation… Oh you poor deluded old fart, I am not gonna make it easy for you.'

Harry opened his mouth to give his answer but again before he could speak Dumbledore cut him off. 'This shit is getting on my nerves. I'm about to fu… oh, oh I see. He wants me to blow up so he can discredit my statement. Nice try, you bastard. Drill sarnt was way better at fuck fuck games.'

"I have it from a reliable source that Gilderoy merely introduced himself and Harry overreacted and through a bout of accidental magic threw poor Gilderoy through the table."

Everyone sighed at his statement and looked at him like he was growing a penis from his forehead. At that moment, Albus realized he may not have all the facts.

Amelia was well into pissed off territory, glared at Albus and exploded. "Albus for the love of Merlin, let the boy speak. Also it seems your 'reliable source' failed to mention that we have numerous and I do mean numerous, statements that Gilderoy jumped up from his seat in the middle of signing a book and tried to and I quote, 'inappropriately hug a young man from behind' end quote. This is your final warning, anymore interruptions and I will have you taken to the station for obstruction. Am I in any way unclear?" 

Albus looked around the room and noticed the faces of annoyed aurors, an irritated Ted Tonks and Harry Potter and a very very pissed off Amelia bones who was gripping her wand hard enough to make the wood creak. "Ehem… of course you are correct, Amelia I will remain here quietly. Do forgive an old man his ramblings." He put on his most sincere apologetic grandfather face on hoping to play it off as his normal bout of silliness.

Amelia glared at him and finally turned to Harry Potter who had an eyebrow raised and a small smirk on his lips. "As you were saying Mr Potter?"

Harry was still smirking but quickly schooled his features. He quickly gave his statement recapping what had happened.

"So you mean to tell me that it was not accidental magic but muggle self defense that was used on the 'strange creeper' breathing in your ear?" Amelia asked incredulously.

"Yes ma'am, I was looking at books then, some strange man puts his hands on me. And I can feel his breath on my ear and I just reacted. You see, I live with my muggle relatives and in muggle primary school they taught us to never talk to strangers, take candy from strangers, allow strangers to touch us and if we ever encounter a stranger to notify our guardians or the police… er that would be the muggle equivalent of aurors. My aunt had me and my cousin take self defense lessons when we were little because she heard a prowler had been in our area and she didn't want us to be taken." 'Seriously, my bullshitting skill has to be O.P. Now let's see what happens.'

"Mr. Potter, am I understanding you correctly? You live with your muggle relatives and you have been raised as a muggle?" Harry frowned and cocked his head in confusion. 'Hopefully I have enough prepubescent cuteness left over to pull this off.' "Madame Bones, I didn't know I was magical until I got my Hogwarts letter." 'Explain that one you old queen.'

At this point bomb raid klaxons were going off in Albus Dumbledore's mind. He did not like where this was going. "Amelia, as Chief Warlock I will have to use my authority here to state that any information regarding Harry's relatives be stricken from the record and I will need oaths from you all to not disclose this information for his security."

Both Ted and Amelia jumped up at this. Amelia beat Ted to the punch though. "Albus you may use your authority as Chief Warlock to have that stricken from the record but you do not have the authority to make anyone here give you an oath. Although, it is funny that when asked about Harry's welfare none of this was mentioned, eh Chief Warlock?"

Ted took the baton and ran with it. "Yes, it seems your magical guardian has certainly dropped the quaffle there." 'This guy is worth every penny… I mean knut.'

Harry frowned in confusion again, "I'm sorry, but what is a magical guardian? Is that like a fairy godmother? I've never heard of the term nor met anyone who introduced themselves as such."

Albus Dumbledore does not panic, he just meditates with heightened blood pressure and sweat. He needed to deflect and what better way to deflect than to throw someone under the carriage. "Back to the topic at hand, it seems I was mistaken about Gilderoy. I obviously got some bad information and agree that Gilderoy must be held accountable. My dear boy, forgive this old man for jumping to conclusions without having all the facts… it still fascinates me that no matter our age, we all still have something to learn. Ehem, it seems I started rambling again. I must be off to look for a new DADA Professor. I look forward to seeing you at school, Harry."

Everyone was glaring at Albus and watched him leave. Ted and Amelia soon started to go over the case while Harry 'listened' intently. 'I can't believe that worked! He was so on the defensive that he gave Lockhart up and he did not ask about Ted. It's not gonna last but it helps me delay until Ted is ready. Now how to deal with the Weasley's. I'll still have to go but for just long enough to snatch and grab the rat and then make something up and go to Grimmauld… Or I can be a semi intelligent, logical person and have Kreacher scope out the burrow and see if he can get in undetected and switch Scabbers with a rat then give him to Amelia Bones. Let's go with the latter first.'

Amelia finished her sidebar with Ted and they walked over to Harry. Amelia stared at Harry and was somewhat put off by the boy's very unnerving pensive state. She shook off her thoughts at what would cause such a young boy to have a thousand yard stare and addressed him.

"Well Mr Potter, it seems like you are free to go. It is a clear cut case of self defense and we will question Mr Lockhart at the station. I would like to ask you some questions at a later date but that can wait. I hope you have a great rest of your day, the DMLE has taken enough of your time today. Get some rest. You look tired." 

Harry was knocked out of his musings and nodded to Madame Bones and bid her farewell. As he watched her leave he realized two things, first she was a smoking hot milf with a perfect hourglass figure and second, puberty was gonna hit him like a runaway train. 'It goes to show how much of my attention dealing with this clusterfuck had taken up that my hormones were just now noticing how attractive the head of the DMLE is.'

Ted watched his client as he gave a longing stare at Amelia's shapely ass leave the room and almost broke into a laughing fit when Harry realized what he was doing. He quickly cast locking charms on the door and a privacy charm for their conversation. "So… that happened. So wanna tell me what really happened?" 

Harry raised an eyebrow but then smirked. "Well, it's mostly the truth, although some facts may have been overstated. I did go in looking for books and he did grab me and I did defend myself when he grabbed me unexpectedly but I don't know if he was trying anything sexual but according to muggle law any touch which makes a person feel uncomfortable can be deemed inappropriate so it really isn't considered a lie."

Ted nodded along, "A technicality but I see your point. He has a very good chance of getting off with a slap on the wrist, legally I mean." Harry nodded but his smirk grew to a mischievous smile. "Yes, he may win in the court of Law but he already lost in the court of public opinion. Which we will have to capitalize on, by the way. I would like you to release a statement to the press stating that I defended myself from a grown adult who tried to manhandle me and that I reacted accordingly. I mean how is a 12 year old supposed to know the motivations of a full grown man suddenly grabbing him from behind. I mean, it could have been a death eater trying to kidnap the vanquisher of the Dork Lord. The man may be dead but his followers sure... aren't… actually Ted, this may just help us out more than we initially realized." 

Ted was somewhat shocked at the level of cunning this 12 year old boy had just displayed. When he first arrived he thought a lot of their plans would be ruined due to Dumbledore and other interested parties learning Harry had representation but Harry maneuvered the situation to put Dumbledore off his game and fool the DMLE. He then utterly crushed Gilderoy. Now the boy had other plans. Ted asked the question that had popped into his mind. "How are you not in Slytherin?"

Harry gave another mischievous smile and for a moment Ted thought his eyes might have twinkled. "The hat wanted to put me in Slytherin but I told it I didn't want to be in the same house as Malfoy' so it put me in Gryffindor. Back on topic, when you give my statement to the press you should also state that since death eaters are a very credible threat to me that the ministry should question Sirius Black and all the other Death eaters in Azkaban, under veritaserum to get the names of all the other death eaters since to my knowledge he was never questioned. That way we can either confirm or disprove my theory of Sirius being innocent and if he is not we can get the names of his co-conspirators. Not to mention we can take this publicity and use the public's pity and leverage it to push all those people making a galleon off my name and strongly suggest that they stop or they will be publicly named as a party taking advantage of a poor orphan who just went through a traumatizing ordeal. Win-win-win situation."

Ted was shocked, the boy had just made a very good suggestion that would ultimately help them out immensely. He had taken a very bad situation and just completely turned it around to his complete advantage with very minimal exposure to himself. "You are a very frightening 12 year old, Harry Potter."

Harry smirked, "Stop it, you'll make me blush." He replied coyly. "Now I need you to speak with the Weasleys, I was supposed to spend the last two weeks with them but Mrs Weasley has shown she is not very reliable so I'll need you to make up an excuse and let them know I will need to speak with you further and won't be able to go with them today. I'll just go to my relatives for the night so I'm not interrogated by that woman." 

Ted couldn't hold it in any further and laughed for a few minutes which seemed to irritate Harry. "Oh yes, Molly can be quite overbearing. Very well, you are the boss after all." Ted stated after one last snort of laughter.

Ted and Harry finished their strategy session and walked out of the office. Harry gave the store clerk some more galleons for the use of the office and for the rest of the books he wanted and put them in his decoy trunk with the rest of his purchases and had the clerk shrink it for him. He could have done it himself but he had to keep up appearances. 'I wonder if anyone will ask how I shrunk my decoy trunk initially… if they ask I'll just say it was a passerby who saw me struggling with it.'

Harry walked out of the store and was met with the sight of the Weasley matriarch getting upset with Ted and the Granger's frowning at the obviously heated conversation. Harry sighed and walked over to the group. 

"Harry! Are you alright? You're not hurt are you? I can't believe that man tried to grab you like that. Did you know he is going to be our DADA professor? Professor Dumbledore told us before he went in. I hope that is still not the case, I mean that is just so wrong." Harry once again sighed. He patted Hermione's back while he was held in her hug and then put his hand over her mouth before she passed out.

"Hermione, what am I going to do with you? You need to breathe and I can't very well answer your questions when you don't give me a chance to reply. Yes, I'm fine. No, I'm not hurt. Dumbledore told us he was going to be the DADA professor. I don't know if he still will be…. I think that's all your questions." Harry replied.

Hermione was blushing again at being gently reprimanded and had yet to stop hugging Harry. Of course that stopped when she heard her mother giggle at the sight of Hermione still latched on to her best friend. She jumped back and blushed further and sent her mother a glare which caused her to giggle some more and a ginger stalker to glare.

"Harry! Are you alright dear? We spoke with Professor Dumbledore and he said he straightened everything out for you. Now please inform Ted that you having to go with him to your relatives is not needed and we can go home." 'This lady is just as deluded as Dumbledore. More proof that this is hell.'

"I must apologize to both you and Mr Weasley but unfortunately I must go with Ted and my relatives right now and as far as Professor Dumbledore straightening things out, I wouldn't know. He was barely a part of the conversations. It's quite alright though, that's what Ted is for. He is a great lawyer." Ted gave a grateful smile to Harry for the compliment which then changed to a smug smile when facing Molly Weasley.

The whole of the Weasley clan was watching the back and forth between Harry and Ted on one side and Molly Weasley on the other like a tennis match. Once again the Weasley matriarch had a bout of stubbornness and puffed herself up. "We will be having none of that, you are to come with us. Professor Dumbledore said that you are to come with us, didn't he Arthur." At this point Arthur realized he was not invisible and had been dragged into this argument. "Err...well… um yes, he did say that bu.." 

"See Arthur agrees, now lets be on our way." Molly nodded and gave Ted her smug smile and was about to grab Harry's arm to lead him away from Ted but then saw how Harry's eyes narrowed for a split second which gave her pause.

"Again Mrs Weasley I apologize but I must decline. Professors have no say in a student's life outside of school and I will follow the advise given to me by my lawyer and must speak with my guardians about this situation. I will owl Ron to reschedule my visit hopefully some time before school starts. It was a pleasure to meet you Mr Weasley, Ginevra, Mr and Mrs Granger." He nodded at the group and turned to leave with Ted and made it a few steps before he ran into the Malfoys blocking their path.

Ted scowled and Harry sighed and muttered "For Fucks sake." under his breath. Ted heard him and raised an eyebrow at the boy's foul language.

"Potter! I heard you were touched by a bad man." Draco simpered. Lucious just gave the smallest of smirks.

Harry decided that he would start on the Malfoys on his way out. "I'm sorry have we met before? Oh wait, I remember now, Dorko right?" 'Oh I bet this will piss you off, you little Hitler youth looking punk.'

Draco Malfoy seethed at Potter not recognizing him right away. "You bloody well know my name is Draco, Potter." Lucious had lost his smirk because he realized that while he and his son decided to confront the Potter brat in the street to publicly shame him and had been louder than usual to get his attention and draw a crowd Potter pretending to not know Draco was a snub that his son had failed to notice.

"Sure, sure. So how is it that I may help you, Dorko, I mean Draco. My apologies." Harry had a very relaxed demeanor which greatly contrasted to Draco Malfoy who was practically frothing at the mouth from rage. Which to the average bystander would look like a friendly and polite child speaking to an unhinged one. The effect was not lost on the more savvy of the bystanders or Lucius. 

Draco was not only enraged with Potter for forgetting his name but also with the dismissive attitude he had when speaking to the Malfoy scion and that was enough to cause him to snap. "You! You! Son of a mudblood whore! Do you know who you are speaking to?!" 'Got ya!' At this point the crowd had grown and let out a collective gasp when they heard the blonde boy use such foul language and to The Boy Who Lived of all people.

Before Draco could make an even bigger fool of himself Lucius put a hand on his son's shoulder and gave a not so gentle squeeze to show his displeasure but before he could salvage the situation with at least some dignity intact, the Potter brat spoke.

Harry wasn't going to make it too easy for Lucius to get out of this one. "Oh I remember you now. You're the kid who insulted my dead mother in first year and then challenged me to a duel at midnight but never showed up. I must politely ask you to please not insult my dead mother like that. Such language is very unbecoming of someone of your standing not to mention that is a derogatory term often used by Death eaters. We wouldn't want anyone to associate you with those vile people. I hope you seek professional help for your anger issues and bid you a good day." 'Talk your way out of that one Lucy.'

He then nudged Ted who was still shocked that a child would use such foul language in public. Ted was knocked out of his shock and followed Harry into the Leaky Cauldron.

Lucious was livid. His son had just caused a scene and instead of them putting the Potter brat down, they had been snubbed, and caused the crowd to think the Malfoys were making fun of an orphan's dead mother, implied his Draco is coward for challenging him to a duel he never showed up for; and caused them to remember that he was a death eater which got off on the imperio defense but would put them under more scrutiny since that may not be the case and that was the last thing needed with all the raids Weasley was leading. Lastly, he implied that his son had some sort of mental illness. The Potter brat would pay! "Come along Draco we have other appointments today" Lucius quickly guided his disappointment of a son to the apperation point and apperated out of the alley before a riot could kick off.

Ted and Harry used the floo in the leaky Cauldron and floo'd to his office. They took their seats and sat in silence for a moment then Ted burst. He let out a full belly laugh and happened to look at a chuckling Harry. He burst into another belly laugh. When he was finally able to to control himself he spoke. "Seriously kid, how are you not in Slytherin? That was some very good manipulation. You had my nephew change into so many colors I thought he was a metamorphmagus!"

Harry smiled, "If there is one thing I'm good at, it is pissing people off, Ted." 

Ted chuckled some more, "So it would seem."

Ted and Harry floo'd to Ted's home where they met Andi. Andi was surprised to see Harry and was curious as to why her husband had to run out in the middle of tea. Ted then went on and pexplained the shenanigans that had caused him to leave in the middle of tea with Harry filling in when needed. Andi had a good laugh at the Malloy's expense. 

Harry bid the couple a good night and floo'd back to the Leaky Cauldron then slipped into the alley muggle side and had Kreacher pop him to Grimmauld. Harry and Kreacher prepped the dueling piste and set up cover for the usual explosion. Harry stabbed the diary and ran behind cover when the inevitable smoke and explosion happened. Harry and Kreacher dusted themselves off and went to inform Walburga that another piece had been destroyed.

After informing Walburga of the latest horcrux destroyed. Kreacher made Harry dinner at the newly cleaned home. Harry complimented Kreacher's progress with cleaning the house and the meal and then had Kreacher pop him back to his tent where he showered and finally crashed on his bed.

The following morning, Harry went through his normal workout routine and then spent the rest of the day practicing all the spells in his first year curriculum and getting ahead on his second year. He spent time with Hedwig so she would stop giving him the cold shoulder. He then decided that he really didn't need or want to go to The Burrow and wrote a letter to Ron stating he would be staying with his relatives and would see him on the train. He then sent letters to Hermione and Neville asking how they were and that he would meet them on the train back to school. Hedwig was happy for something to do and was not ignoring Harry anymore.

Harry was cooking himself breakfast a few days after the Lockhart debacle when Kreacher popped in with the mail sent to his Post box. Hermione sent him a multiple paged letter basically catching him up on her summer since they didn't really get a chance to talk in the alley. She was annoyed that her parents were teasing her over how close of friends they are. She had asked him if he was alright at least a dozen times. "That girl's brain just doesn't slow down. I hope she likes the trunk when I give it to her."

Neville's letter was pretty much the same. He did say his grandmother would go to Saint Mungos a lot more now so he was left to his own devices but he had gotten his own wand and that he had improved greatly. He also stated that his new diet and exercise regimen was doing wonders and that he was getting stronger and could now work in his greenhouse for longer without getting as tired as he used to. He continued his normal routines for the rest of the week.

Harry woke up one morning and received a letter from Ted attached to copies of The Daily Prophet and The Quibbler. He had seen the issues of both publications the day after the debacle and saw two articles that made Harry have a shit eating grin for the rest of the day. The Prophet reported Harry's assault and The Quibbler reported his spat with the Malfoys. Turns out that Xeno had been in the crowd trying to get a comment from Harry when he saw the Malfoys confront him and caught all the action. 

Harry read the letter over, which basically stated that Ted's office had sent the statement to both publications and that he would be going to meet the people making money off his name and would get back to him in a week with the results. Harry put the letter away and read the article on The Quibbler.

Harry Potter Releases Statement to Public After Diagon Alley Debacle.

By Xenophilius Lovegood

As most of wizarding Britain read earlier this week The Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter had been assaulted by one Gilderoy Lockhart. Witnesses stated that the now infamous author saw The Potter Scion and leapt up to attack like a Nundu on a mooncalf. What Mr. Lockhart had not expected was, for said young man to defend himself. 

The director of the DMLE Amelia Bones and Ministry aurors must be commended for their timely and efficient handling of the situation with Mr. Lockhart's subsequent arrest and interrogation. 

Mr. Edward Tonks lawyer of Mr. Potter has given both The Quibbler and The Daily Prophet copies of Mr. Potters statement after the Diagon Debacle. This statement being particularly noteworthy since it will be the first public statement given by Mr. Potter. Here is his statement.

Good morning my fellow wizards and witches,

As you all know my name is Harry Potter. I would first like to start this letter with an apology. It has been brought to my attention recently that many of you have written to me or sent me gifts throughout my childhood as a way to thank me for the defeat of the terrorist known as ********* (The Quibbler and Daily Prophet have blocked the name used on the statement and will replace with You Know Who, due to our younger readership)

I would like to apologize because I have never thanked any of you for your thoughts, prayers, gifts and the love you have shown me. I would just like you to know that it is not because I am indifferent or an ingrate. The reason I have not thanked any of you is because I didn't know you had contacted me. I wish, I had known sooner, I apologize.

As you all know, my parent's paid the ultimate price for the safety of wizarding Britain. What you do not know, is that my life has not been like any of those make believe stories published about me. I was not slaying dragons or riding Nundus at the age of 5. I was hidden away for my protection because although (You Know Who) was defeated his army of Death Eaters was not. Some Death Eaters were never caught and they like you fine people sent me "gifts" as well. 

My guardians did not want to take the chance of one of the Death Eaters sending a toddler an exploding toy so they blocked all of my mail. Thus, why I never knew of your generosity or kindness and why I have never thanked any of you. I did not know. Since it would be impossible for me to find each and every one of you individually to thank you. I would like all in our community to know, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I would like to also thank The DMLE for their professional and efficient manner in handling the situation in the alley the other day. I would now like to make a plea to my fellow wizards and witches to help me defeat the remnants of the Death Eaters by imploring that our ministry interrogate Sirius Black, (You know Who)'s right hand and traitor to my parents in open court under veritaserum to have him name his co-conspirators as well as all imprisoned Death Eaters. Those that have been rotting away in Azkaban have crucial information on the identity and whereabouts of their compatriots. Let us finally get justice for all our fallen.

Thank you

Harry frowned after having read the article. "I hate myself so much for sounding like such a pompous asshole. Oh well, lets see what happens let's see if Lucius or Dumbledore takes the first shot at Sirius. If he survives this, I'm buying him a month or two at a brothel as an apology for putting his ass in the crosshairs."

Harry shook himself out of his thoughts and went back to get some last minute training before Hogwarts. It should be a dull year, which would be needed for planning to get this dork lord problem sewn up then riding off into the sunset.