5 Chapter 3

TWO MONTHS LATER

I was waiting for Oliver inside a café near the campus for thirty minutes now and it's quite testing my patience for a while. I've always been used to waiting, but things have changed and I realized that I shouldn't be the one who's up for the waiting game all the time. Today's a normal school day, and at this point I'm aching to get out of this tight skirt uniform that pushes my ass together, depriving them from the comfort I need. Clicking my tongue, I glanced down at my wristwatch and saw that it's already 6:30 P.M. Kanina pa ako uwing-uwi pagkatapos ng meeting sa SG (Student Government) office tungkol sa outreach na gagawin next week. Paubos na rin ang Taro Milktea na binili ko kanina pa, kaya nagdecide akong magphone na lang muna habang naghihintay. 'Pag talaga 'yon 'di pa dumating—

I was cutt off from my thoughts when I saw Reese walk in the café with Xierra, the Student Governor of Business and Administration Department slash Reese's fling. My lips turned down into a frown. What a great day, indeed! Akalain mo nga naman, dito pa talaga nila naisipang magdate. Well, I can't deny the fact that Xierra's a good-looking girl. She charms men with her enticing smile while possessing a short wavy hair that seems to bounce when she walks and talks; and to think that they're on the same level, what more could Reese ever ask for?

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms and pursed my lips. I know I shouldn't be thinking of irrelevant thoughts but these are the times that I just can't help myself especially that I'm all alone in my table. Don't get me wrong, I'm not comparing or complaining about anything at all.

My shoulders slumped further into the couch I was sitting on when Oliver still hasn't responded to my texts, so I guess I'm not the one to blame if I can't help myself to stare at the most perfect couple on campus as they settle on a table in front of mine. Great, just great!

I could almost see my crabby face on the opposite glass wall that further adds up to the frustration I was currently feeling. Ba't ba kasi ang tagal ni Oliver? I stayed there for another minute, counting leaves from the succulent plant on top of the table in front of me. Siguro kung sino man ang nakatingin sa 'kin iisiping nagmumukha na akong loner dito.

Agad kong niligpit ang laptop sa mesa at inilagay 'yon sa loob ng bag ko nang hindi na ako nakatiis. Kung hindi dadating si Oli, ako na ang aalis. My throat burns from all the milktea I consumed and I almost look like an aspiring spinster among all these lovey-dovey couples dating inside this café. I was about to stand up when Reese and his girl sees me all ready to go out from this horrid place. Iisnobin ko na sana nang bigla nila akong nginitian. I gave back a smile that didn't seem a natural thing for me to do and waved back at Reese the moment he waves at me. Napalingon ako sa kanan at mukhang kanina pa may naghihintay na magjowa na umalis ako sa table ko, pinapamukha talaga sa 'kin na ako lang yung single dito sa loob. What a cruel world this is!

Exasperatingly, I bumped into something — no, someone — to be exact, as I take a step towards the exit door.

"Aray ko." Reklamo ko habang hinihimas ang noo. Parang bigla akong nagising sa katotohanan na napaka-awkward ko dito.

"Fel! I'm so sorry to keep you waiting." Oliver says in a soft voice as he holds both of my arms.

I stared at him blankly, ayokong magsalita. Ayoko siyang kausapin. I seriously want to cry my heart out in front of him, but I know it's not necessary, and it wouldn't be a big deal to whine about the simple fact that I am single and most of the people inside here are not. It's not their fault I wasn't into dating anyone, after all. I'm just someone who loves to suffer at my own personal decisions in life. I sighed.

"Are you mad?" He asks with a pout. His hair sticks all over the place, and as much as I want to fix it with my hand (like I always used to do), I fixed my eyes at the door instead.

"You really are mad, aren't you?" Dahan-dahan niyang ibinaba ang kamay niya sa balikat ko.

"Ikaw kaya paghintayin ko ng ilang oras dito, hindi ka mababagot?" Reklamo ko sabay dedma sa kanya.

I paced past him but he got a hold of my wrist, pulling me back to him. Now my back is on him and our bodies are just freakin' inches away from each other. Pinagtitinginan na kami ng ibang tao, kasama na doon si Reese at Xierra.

"What the hell, Oliver? You're making this awkward!" I protest, half-shouting and half-whispering as I close my eyes in embarrassment. This guy never fails to get into my nerves every time!

"Sorry," he chuckles in my ear. "Tara na, ihahatid pa kita sa inyo," And just like that, he took the laptop bag from my hand and pulled me towards the exit.

"Gago ka talaga!" Tawa ko nang makalabas na kami sa café. "What was that for? Porket galit ako ginagano'n-gano'n mo na 'ko sa public?" I watch him walk in advance to his Civic in the parking lot.

Something inside me told me to look back for just a moment, see if I left anything behind — though I know myself better than what I'm trying to think as an excuse. Alam kong wala akong naiwan, pero kailangan ko lang makasiguro. Siguro. As usual, I failed to stop myself and look back at the café instead. Something inside me wanted to pinch myself from what I was seeing. Xierra, with her back turned from my view, was casually talking to Reese, and he... he was staring at me... or at least at my direction, perhaps? Iniisip kong baka nag-iimagine lang ako ng mga bagay-bagay. But his stares only proved me that he was really staring this way, as his eyes were cold as ice. Or maybe I was wrong. I felt embarrassed with the eye contact. I was the first one to look away after a few seconds of looking at him. I should just be overthinking the situation. He was nothing to me, after all. Or maybe I think it should stay that way, I suppose.

"Joesong haeyo!" (I'm sorry) Sagot niya habang tinatawanan ako. "Alam ko namang hindi mo ako matitiis, eh." Oli walks back to my direction and hooks his arms around my neck the moment he reaches me.

"Bitawan mo ako!" I complained, trying to push him away from me. "I'm still mad at you!" Pilit kong inalis ang nangyari kani-kanina lang, iniisip na hindi 'yon big deal.

"Oh, really? So, what if I do this!" It wasn't a question, with his gigantic height (he was a 6-footer, by the way), it was easy for him to ruffle my hair with his hand as he laughs at my face.

"Tangina, Oliver Yi!" Sigaw ko sabay takbo palayo sa kanya. "How many times do I have to tell you to not touch my fuckin' hair!"

We went to his car and I slammed the door beside me as we go and settle inside. I always ride shotgun in Oli's car, that's what happens when you're much comfortable with someone, I guess. He's my best friend, after all. But it doesn't take away the fact that he knew I don't want anyone touching my hair but he still did it anyway. What a stupid jerk!

"Please don't slam the door next time," he pleads, showing me puppy eyes. "You're going to get me killed."

"I'd slam your car door whenever I want to the way you ruffle my hair rough every time." I tell him as I stick my tongue out and crossed my arms.

Shaking his head, he turned on the ignition and stared at me. "Okay, fine. I won't do that again, and I will never let you wait on me that long next time."

"Promise?" I smirked.

"I promise. Now, don't show me that smug impression of yours." He chuckles.

"Pinky promise?" I ask again, settling down my hands on my lap.

"Ano ka, bata?"

Sabay kaming nagtawanan nang patakbuhin niya ang sasakyan. There was never a dull moment with Oliver around, pakiramdam ko hindi ako mag-isa despite of having friends other than Oliver. That second, I almost forgot what happened back at the café.

A WEEK LATER (OUTREACH DAY)

(God, Felina, where the hell are you? Kanina ka pa namin hinihintay, male-late na tayo sa outreach program natin!)

I can hear the irritation from Georginie's voice from the other line of the call. Sinabi kong hindi ako makakaabot kung magco-commute pa ako papunta sa school kaya nagrequest akong i-pick up na lang sa bahay since may kotse naman si Georgie. At ito na nga, nasermonan pa ako nang wala sa oras.

"Eh, alam mo naman ako! It takes hours for me to get ready. So, um, you still picking me up?" Biting my thumb, I tried to lower my voice as much as I can. Hindi na talaga ako makakaabot sa school nang ganitong oras. Call time namin sa exact location ay 7 A.M., and it's 45 minutes before 7. Mabuti na lang at hindi ganoon kalayo ang location mula sa school namin. Kung hindi lang sana ako pinuyat ni Oliver na sabay magmovie marathon ng horror movie sa video call hanggang 2 A.M. hindi sana ako male-late ng gising. B.I. talaga yung lalakeng 'yon.

(Fine, fine! But we have company.)

"No problem, I'll be waiting outside my house. You know the way!" I say enthusiastically and hung up.

I sighed to myself and let my untied straight hair loosen on my shoulders and back. I feel like crap today, my eyebags are clearly visible on my face. I opened my shoulder bag and took out a vanity mirror, only to see the dark circles under my eyes that make me look like a ghost from the underworld. Okay, that was exaggerated. Since wala pa naman si Georgie, naglagay na lang ako ng concealer, konting blush on at lip balm para magmukhang presentable sa mga batang tutulungan namin sa outreach program. I put it all back and saw the poetry book above our living room table that I've always carried with me wherever I go. It was entitled "My 18th Rose" for a reason — a reason that I don't want to remember over and over every time I read the title itself.

Minutes later I heard a loud beeping noise of a car from outside the house. Wala yung parents ko dahil maaga silang umalis para sa office work nilang dalawa, at wala rin yung nagiisa kong ate sa bahay dahil nagtatrabaho siya sa abroad bilang nurse sa isang hospital sa Stockholm, Sweden.

Agad kong ini-lock ang front door at gate at nagmamadaling naglakad papunta sa auto ni Georgie. She lowered the car window at the driver's side and laughed at me.

"You're driving?" I ask, disregarding her laughing at my face. Mukhang hindi ko ata natakpan masyado ang eyebags ko.

"Yeah, you should know by now that I drive!" Tawa niya ulit. "Anyway, hurry up! I have a surprise for you at the back seat of this car."

"Hey, Felina!" Jalanji exclaims and waves at me beside Georginie at the front seat.

"Hi, Janji!" I wave back and went to open the back door of the car. I almost want to close it back when I saw the surprise that Georgie is talking about. More like a who was the surprise.

"Hi."

What. The. Hell. WHAT THE HECK IS REESE DOING AT THE BACK SEAT OF GEORGINIE'S CAR?

"Oh, hi." I tried to respond to what he said as casual as possible, though I'm already calculating the possible reasons as to why Reese got here with Georginie and Jalanji in the car inside my head.

"Ano pang tinutunganga mo d'yan, Fel? Na starstruck ka na naman kay Reese, 'no? Pasok na!" I went back to my senses and hurriedly went inside Georgie's car and shut the door beside me.

I kept my distance from Reese as much as possible. Kaming dalawa lang ang nandito sa back seat at hindi ko alam kung anong irereact ko. I can also smell his perfume from here. It smelled of almond but also a manly scent at some point. No, he smells clean. Ugh, why am I even thinking about his scent? As if it was new to me. Janji and Georgie was talking about the directions to the location while also bringing up where to do a drive thru as we drive off to the location we're supposed to go, when Reese glanced at my direction. I quickly look away and focused my attention outside the closed car window. This is awkward as I remember what happened to that café a week ago, because after that I seldom saw Reese around and outside the school campus anymore. Ngayon ko lang ulit siya nakita.

"Kumain ka na?" My goodness, what a way to start a conversation, Reese. I stared back at him in surprise.

"H-ha?" I answered back, almost in a whisper manner. I'm still overthinking why he's here. I mean, why shouldn't I? (a) Reese and Georginie were never close with each other (b) I didn't even know they were friends (or are they?) (c) Xierra has a car Reese can joy ride with (I knew this because I see her park her car at the school's parking lot often every morning), and (d) He knows Georginie ships the both of us (and is loud and proud with it just when Xierra is not around in the office, of course). Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit? But then again, it's none of my business.

"Sabi ko, kumain ka na ba?" He repeated again, but this time both people at the front seat heard about this.

Janji stared back at us with a teasing expression carved at his face, clearly wanting me to feel embarrassed about this whole thing.

"Oh, mukhang may nagaganap ditong kakaiba, ah. I can smell something... something..."

"Malangsa ba? Fishy, gano'n?" Georgie butts in with the same look on her face.

"Yes! Super fishy!" Sagot ni Janji at sabay silang nagtawanan.

"Ano ba naman kayo," I exclaimed, feeling uncomfortable with the situation. "Pa-issue talaga kayo, nagtatanong lang naman yung tao." I added defensively.

Tiningnan ko si Reese at natatawa din ito. I can feel the blood rise up to my cheeks as they flush in deep crimson. Pinagtitripan ba ako ng mga 'to?

"Ikaw naman, Felina. Masyado mong sineseryoso!" Tawa ni Georgie.

"Stop it, you guys." Suway ni Reese habang natatawa pa rin.

"Pinagtitripan niyo ba 'ko?" I ask, feeling irritated as I cross my arms. I'm still tired to joke around with anyone at this moment.

"Hindi ah," Janji says. "Okay, we'll stop teasing you na. Magda-drive thru tayo sa McDo, ha!" Dagdag nito sabay settle sa inuupuan niya at tumingin sa harap.

"Don't mind them." Reese says as he rests his head on the car seat.

"I don't," I answered back in a low voice. "It's just..." I trailed off.

Buti na lang busy sa pag-iingay yung dalawa sa harapan at nagpatugtog na ng music sa speakers kaya hindi na nila kami masyado naririnig na naguusap.

"Just what?" Bigla itong bumangon at tumingin sa 'king direksyon.

I felt conscious all of a sudden that I had to look away from his stares. I'll never get used to this... him being near me.

I sighed before speaking. "Nothing. At oo, kumain na ako."

"No, tell me." He whispers as he scoots closer beside me, leaving a few inches apart between us. "Are you not comfortable with them teasing you?"

'Teasing you?' I can't believe this guy! He only thinks they're only teasing me with him without thinking it's also the other way around? I shut my eyes close and prayed that he doesn't get any closer to me. Plus, his scent is disturbing my thoughts.

"Why, are you okay with it?" I ask back and look at his face, trying to stop myself from getting lost in his gaze. I act as normal as I could.

I can see the confusion written on his face when I said that. He looks away for a moment and stares back at me when I thought he knows what to respond with what I just said.

"I don't mind," he says and looks outside the car window at his side.

I huffed in annoyance and whispered in an annoyed tone, making sure he'll be hearing what I'm about to say.

"You have a girlfriend and you don't mind?"

I didn't look at him to know what his reaction might be, but I never got to hear another word from his mouth after I said that. I'm sure narinig niya naman 'yon. Nang makarating sa McDo ay nagorder lang ako ng fries at burger at inilagay 'yon sa loob ng bag ko. Hindi naman ako nagugutom dahil kumain ako ng breakfast sa bahay at mukhang malapit na rin kami sa lugar na pupuntahan namin para sa outreach program, kaya mamaya ko na lang kakainin 'to kapag nagutom na ako.

I took out the poetry book I wrote and read a few pages to kill time until we get to the place. Hindi ko nabantayan yung oras hanggang sa naisipan kong umidlip na lang muna since kulang naman yung tulog mo. Pahamak na Oliver, I say to myself before dozing off... I don't know if I was already dreaming when I felt the book slip out of my hands. I thought someone grabbed it before it fell, taking it away from my possession.

I never let anyone read that book — even my bestfriend — it was too important to me that I won't and will never let anyone read it aside from me. I must be dreaming...

With my eyes half open, I mumbled gibberish when I saw Reese open the book, maybe reading my pieces... maybe checking the pages... but I was too tired to identify if what I was seeing is real or not. I just feel tired at the moment.

"Mmmm." I mumbled again, trying to open my eyes but still failed to do so.

Don't read it, please. I spoke, though I don't know if those words really came out of my mouth. I let my eyes close for a bit.

"You..." is it his voice I'm hearing right? Or am I starting to dream of hearing it? "wrote a book about me?"

It was all I could hear before sleep took over my system.