9 Chapter 9 - Outside (3)

The cave was quite huge inside and it wasn't dark since there were a lot of sources of light apart from the cracks in the ceilings - letting the sunlight outside in.

Unlike any cave, that was usually dark, this is one is really bright.

Rocks and protruding gems in the wall's cave radiated mystifying and differing colours in contrast to the group's dark expression.

"Captain!"

Li Jing's voice reverberated into the entire silent cave as it knocked some sense into his mind.

His blurry vision and dazed expression instantly cleared up before he almost collapsed from exhaustion.

He quickly recalled carrying Rheena at his back.

Li Jing helped him put Rheena down as he was having difficulty reaching her.

"?"

His mind went blank as he glanced at his left arm that was now missing. Perhaps it was the adrenaline rush, but the pain he have forgotten suddenly assaulted him as he grimaced in pain.

Where's my arm?

His face contorted as he asked himself.

While looking at his bleeding left shoulder he instinctively took out the special bandage from the pouch he received earlier and slapped it on, on the open wound.

The bleeding miraculously instantly stopped.

But he didn't make any suprise expression as he was to preoccupied to mind the special bandage's effects.

When he saw Li Jing glancing at him with a pain expression after putting her ears near Rheena's nose, his heart sank.

"Anyone got extra special bandage? Rheena's still bleeding."

His voice was evidently sounding desperate as he scanned the party, but no one replied. He frowned in confusion.

Why aren't they responding? I'm supposed to be the leader here!

Only then he saw the reason why they were not responding when he turned his head towards Li Jing. She was shaking her head with tears flowing from her eyes, while covering her mouth with her hands.

"But we all received it right?" he asked as his teeth clattered from suppressed anger, while completely misunderstanding Li Jing's response.

Li Jing looked at him with a troubled face as she nibbled her lips, her mouth hesitantly opened and closed several times before finally uttering something that almost made Liu Jeemin crazy.

"It's no use. She's gone."

Jin Hyoon walked towards him and examined his left shoulder, while his eyes dimmed. He didn't even hear Jin Hyoon asking him if he was fine, considering the graveness of his injury.

What?

That can't be.

He was sure that her eyes were still open when he lifted her up, she even talked to him saying he should've left her.

Her vivid smile, full of vitality, and the desire to live was still clear to him when he lifted her up.

"That.. that.. can't be. Impossible!"

'I refuse to believe it!'

He tried to calm down, but his trembling clenched hand betrayed him.

"But captain... her organs are gone captain."

Li Jing said as she covered her mouth while her stifled mournful cry escaped from her hands.

Was it my hesitation?

He slowly sank and kneel down, holding Rheena's body into his arm.

The gruesome state she was in, her scattered and dangling intestines, her visible heart, several chunks of skins and muscles missing from her body, he didn't care as her blood stained his clothes, as he stared at his beautiful youthful face.

Looking at her, he couldn't help but see that she was telling him 'what took you so long?'

He lowered his head as his chest bobbed up and down, his ragged breathing, evidence that he was crying in grief. There was no sound coming from his mouth as he wallowed in anguish. He desperately tried not to show he was crying. He didn't want anyone seeing him in this pathetic state.

He wanted to hug her, but he could only bent his body down as he held her.... because he was missing his left arm.

When he lifted his head and stared at Rheena's eyes, a tremor ran through his body. An indescribable emotion flooded him, raging and swirling inside him.

Level ? Class ?

Seven Demon Art: (Low)Soul Search Magic Matrix Analysis

His eyes turned completely white as several projected images played like a film in front of him. It was strange, even though it was images running like film, he felt emotions coming from it.

What he saw was a young girl crying over her mother's coffin. His father, who lost his mind from losing his wife vented his anger towards her daughter whenever he went home drunk after gambling.

One day, the father sold her daughter to pay for his debts accumulated from gambling. When the girl was brought to the man's house who bought her, he... he..

Liu Jeemin gnashed his teeth as veins popped out from his forehead as he watched the revolting scene unfold before him.

When the man was finished with her, the girl escaped and walked to her home barefooted in the middle of the night.

As soon as she arrived, her father was enraged when he saw her daughter returned, angered that his payment to his debts might be rendered moot.

The girl hugged his father and cried. But he didn't care, he was consumed by rage and anxiety. His dark bags around his eyes and bloodshot eyes was a telltale of his drug abuse. He pulled the girl, his own daughter, to the attic by her hair, as she ripped her clothes as he...

Liu Jeemin, who was watching this felt sick to his stomach, he wanted to close his eyes, to avert his gaze away from the scene. But he failed. Not only he can't control his body, he can't even scream.

He saw the young innocent girl being choke to death by her own father as her father continued on....

From the scene unfolding before him, he felt the pain she felt.

He wanted to scream, his heart boiled in rage. He felt he didn't care about anyone anymore.

He felt that life's not worth living anymore. He carried the grief alone in his heart.

He felt alone.

Her brown eyes reflected off his anguished stricken face. Maybe it was only his imagination, but he truly saw a merciless demon reflected in those eyes.

He shivered when he saw himself in that reflection as the scene stopped playing. His mind consumed by emotions made him forget about the strange phenomenon that just occured.

Thinking back in his previous life, he didn't really value life. Whoever dies doesn't really matter.

Dying is just a form of salvation. It is better to die than live a life full of sufferings.

But now he even wanted to slap his face by recalling he envied those people that already died, thinking that they have freed themselves from the sufferings of the world.

But he couldn't understand why he was feeling this.

Why would he want to slap himself? Logically, he was correct, he knew that. Living will only make life harder, dying is the easy way out, there's nothing wrong with that.

But when he stared at Rheena's face, remembered how she died, her last words echoing in his mind, her smile as she looked up at him, her voice that soothes the soul... could he say that Rheena was now resting in peace? Could he say that she was lucky because she died?

Could he envy her because she was already dead?

No.

What he was feeling right now was a desire to see her live and enjoy life. It was strange, a very alien thought to him.

He derided himself for only thinking about himself, assuming that the world is revolving around him, when he just saw a fragile life ignored by the world. If the world revolves solely on him, what about her?

He raised his head with difficulty as she looked at Li Jing.

"Can you..."

"Can you close her eyes?" he closed his eyes as he continued with a forced joking tone, "My left arm, you know, it 'left' my other arm alone."

His hoarse voice bordering on weeping echoed in the cave as it betrayed his poorly made joke as his gaze went back on Rheena's beautiful pale innocent face.

To think I'm thankful being transferred here.

The group slowly gathered around him while Li Jing closed Rheena's eyelids with her trembling soft hand.

Ahh I wanna die again. Liu Jeemin thought as his eyes drooped gloomily.

Someone please kill me.

If only I can transfer my life to her!

God! If you can hear me, please, just once, you son of a bitch. . . transfer my life to others who deserves it!

He screamed inwardly, as the words and thoughts echoing in his mind just nestled there ethereally without getting any replies nor response. In the eerie silence, he continued thinking.

Protagonist? What a joke! I can't even save a helpless girl. I'm fucking trash. Worthless. Useless.

'I don't have any redeeming qualities.'

'I'm weak.'

'I'm not intelligent.'

'I'm hopeless.'

'I should die...'

Somewhere in his heart, a place where he can't sense, a voice akin to a devil was letting out a devilish cackle, seemingly rejoicing and approving his state of despondency.

'...But I'm afraid of killing myself again.'

"Haaa," he heaved a depressing sigh as he heard Dmitri spoke.

"Captain, so what do we do now?"

Dmitri coldly asked which prompted Li Jing to glare at him.

"What? Something wrong?"

At the receiving end of that glare, Dmitri couldn't help but retort curtly.

"Can't you even read the atmosphere?"

Sasaki Seiji hurriedly took this chance to reprimand Dmitri.

Jeemin knitted his brows as he felt irritated by the noise they're making.

But when he remembered this was the same people who went back for him, he could only let it pass and let them deal with it themselves.

He slowly lay down Rheena's body and took off his torn black jacket to cover her, leaving only his bloody white T-shirt on him.

Although he hated to admit it, he already sobered up.

He buried his grief deep within him, as he stood up enervated.

His whole demeanor suddenly changed without him intending it. His usual confident and strong leader vibe he wore, meshed with his enervated and gloomy voice.

"First, we need to rest. Tomorrow we'll explore the cave. Don't worry about the hounds," he greeted his teeth as he mentioned the monsters who was responsible for Rheena's death, "I noticed the pack of hounds dwindled down when we are being pursued. I assume they've found another prey."

He glanced at the blocked entrance, "If they didn't found another prey to pursue, I bet they would spend the entire night removing the hastily blockage you made."

"The rest we'll figure it out tomorrow."

Jin Hyoon looked at him deeply and asked.

"I'm not sure if I should ask this, but, I remember you said you're familiar with this world, so... why did this happen? If we haven't left the hall we could have..."

Jeemin didn't feel angry when he heard this question, in fact he'd rather address this now than when it's too late.

He went silent for moment as he thought.

"The hall's no good," he shook his head, "even if we stayed there, there's nothing. No food, no water, and no way to protect ourselves. Not only that, I'm sure there are certain rules that will force the people there to leave the hall. Something like making them kill each other."

"I think captain is right, that's not even mentioning the people who were gathering there that were up to no good."

Seeing Jin Hyoon unconvinced, Claire Williams decided to interject. As someone who has background in military, she thought that the party must not lose its unity as a consequence of distrust towards the leader.

"I can't absolutely say I'm right, I may have inadvertently cause harm to you all. If you don't want to follow me anymore it's fine," Jeemin shrugged as he said, "That concludes this meeting, let us rest."

"What about your arm?"

Li Jing hesistantly asked.

The entire group suddenly got quiet.

"I'll manage. Find a spot in this cave, don't stray too far. Try to conserve food and water as much as possible. I just ate a piece of bread earlier, and I'm already feeling hungry, it must have something to do with the constraint written in the task window," he replied as he briefly took a glance at the task window that appeared when he thought about 'task window'.

[Task Window]

The Forest of Labyrinth

Information: Unavailable

Task: Reach the end of the Forest of Labyrinth.

Difficulty: Tutorial

Time limit: 3 days.

Failure: Become the fertilizer.

Rewards: 1000 credits, basic equipments, Universal Points +1.

Constraints: Proneness to Hunger is Increased.

He beckoned Claire Williams to come to him.

"Claire, go lead them. Find some safe place to rest. Set up a rotation to guard at night. I lost too much blood and I'm a bit light headed, if it's my turn, just wake me up."

Claire Williams nodded as a brief guilt flashed in her eyes.

When Jeemin sat down near Rheena's body, leaned his back on a boulder, the rest finally started finding a place to rest at Claire Williams' behest.

Only when he determined that they're a bit far from him, he trembled. He covered his face with his remaining arm and curled up, as his stifled sobbed slowly drifted away.