23 Letting go...

Aquamarine waves kept up to her cold feet and the sand crunched beneath her legs, the sunset was pink and calm it was peaceful as the sea birds chirped loudly around her. It was cold but she didn't mind this break was what she needed. Mia had even called in sick from work for the first time in her career. After her heated discussion with the Li's she had drove up to the beach in order to clear her head. There was no-one around just her and the sea, Mia lay back on the sand and looked up at the sky and the wind blew her raven hair over her face. The wind was picking up causing the waves to bite at her legs with a sharp vengeance. Sometimes sensations like this remind people they were alive, even just for a brief moment. When feeling empty, surroundings, sensations will bring back emotions you once let loose. Mia had turned off her phone and spent the night at the beach so she could collect her thoughts. Her father had been punished for her love, Mia was a murderer after all. If only he had shown her the threatening letter Mr Li had sent, maybe Mia could have intervened before tragedy struck. Her life would be complete if only that situation had presented itself.

Now she was living with the man she loved but sadly she wasn't happy or content like she wanted to be, if anything this chapter of her life was the most painful. Truth hurt a lot more than lies, sometimes she wished her mother had never mentioned about her father's death. But, would her mother have began recovering if that hurtful secret hadn't escaped her lips. Today Yu was moving to a university the next time over to pursue her career. Another person was going to leave her, people didn't need her as much anymore. That hurt the most. Mia closed her eyes and relaxed trying to dismiss the tiring thoughts tumbling around in her brain. As she lay there and began drifting off the sound of feet shuffling against the sand caught her attention.

"Mia?" a panicked voice called out, but she didn't recognize it as Aiden's, it was familiar, but she was too dazed to recognize it. Slowly she removed her hand from her face to see slick blonde hair and big brown eyes looking over her in concern. He gently put his hand behind her head and lifted her up.

"Mika?" she said dazed, this was not good he was her patient. Mika shouldn't see her in such a state.

"Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing here?" he asked almost angry she was sitting in the wet cold, Mia rubbed her neck awkwardly, how was she supposed to worm her way out of this one.

"I could ask you the same thing it's 6 am in the morning?" she replied back avoiding his question. Mika sighed and sat down beside her looking out at the sea. Mia had never felt so embarrassed in her life.

"I walk along here often for a break, are you doing the same thing?" he leaned closer to her, Mia awkwardly shuffled on the spot wondering what to say.

"Yeah, I go here when I need to clear my head. It's peaceful." Mika took off his jacket and wrapped it around her without hesitating, Mia jumped when the cloth touched her bare arms.

"It's okay you don—"

"It's freezing you'll catch cold of you don't warm up." He cut her off, Mia pulled her legs up to her chest and nodded gratefully. This was strange coincidence, especially after Mia's breakdown at work where Mika was a key witness.

"Are you okay?" he asked genuinely, in truth he was overjoyed to see her, Mika like Mia a lot after she helped him overcome his mental illness. Now he was much healthier and felt so much better after estranging from his parents, without Mia that wouldn't have been possible.

"I'm fine." Mika sat up and crossed his legs facing her, Mia was biting her lip staring off into the distance like she was dead to the world.

"No, you're not, people only spend the night at the beach when there's problems at home." Mia gave him a surprised glance.

"You're observant. How did you know I'd slept here?" Mika reached over and touched a strand of her hair.

"Your hairs a little frizzy with the humidity and your clothes are soaking, if you'd just got here then only your skirt would be wet." Mika puled her knees closer, Mika was more perceptive than she thought.

"Alright you win." She said defeated. They both sat in silence for a while until Mika stood up and reached out his hand to her.

"Come on, we're getting something to eat you must be starving. I won't take no as an answer." He said playfully, Mia was a little starstruck Mika was an entirely different person to that poor man she treated on the ward. He had this subtle confidence. Mia gratefully gripped his hand as he pulled her up.

"You're a busy man, I don't want to trouble you." She said sternly, Mia didn't want to burden Mika he was a top movie star at the end of the day. The fact he would even associate with her outside of clinic hours made her happy enough.

"It's my day off today and it gives me a chance to know you better." Mika was surprising persistent and smiled kindly at her, Mia felt rude refusing him again.

"Thank-you." They walked side by side both watching the sun set fully casting a shimmer over the water, they didn't need to speak to one another, and both could sense they had a certain appreciation for scenery.

"I started coming here after what you taught me at the clinic. I never used to appreciate sights like this before you told me unless your happy with who you are, you can never be happy with what you have." Mia gave him an impressed glance, he'd memorized her words perfectly.

"True, some people will look at that sea and observe dull colors, they don't see the blue. They don't feel the breeze and they can't understand contentedness. It's sad really, if you had gotten any sicker then that's what you would have seen. Classic symptoms of dissociation, I'm happy you can appreciate sights like these." They strolled along until they reached the street, Mika reached in his pocket and put on his sunglasses to hide his identity. The last thing he wanted was to attract attention to Mia and make her feel uncomfortable. Mia was vulnerable right now he could tell just by looking into her tired eyes.

"Is it exhausting?" she asked concerningly as he bowed his head when a group of people swept past him.

"Sometimes, I try not to think about it too much, but sunglasses usually do the trick. Plus, I don't want anyone to interrupt us." He smiled and continued walking, he really was a different person to the reclusive man she met in the clinic.

"Mika…" Mia said nervously. He stopped and spun around to see her rubbing her neck awkwardly, words were sitting on the tip of her tongue.

"Y-You don't have to be so nice to me were not in the clinic." Mika sighed and hooked her arm dragging her along, Mia trailed behind him a little stunned he was being this persistent. They arrived at a diner and he led her inside. Mia awkwardly sat at a booth while Mika ordered for them both. It was clear he wasn't going to give up so she silently let him do whatever he pleased. Mika sat down and quickly tilted her head to the side revealing her grazed face from behind her long raven hair.

"Where did you get that, is someone hurting you." He said angrily, Mia didn't know what to say and moved his hand gently away.

"My boyfriend got into a fight and I stood up for him, the other guy hit me." Mika suddenly had wide eyes and he rubbed his neck nervously.

"I didn't realize you had a boyfriend, sorry I've been overly friendly with you. It must have made you uncomfortable." Mia put her hands up, she didn't want to make him feel awkward and felt slightly guilty she didn't mention it earlier.

"No no! I'm sorry for not saying anything it's my fault." There food arrived and they both tucked in, Mia sipped her tea and looked out of the window trying to avoid eye contact.

"You promise it wasn't your boyfriend who did that. I can help you." Mia shook her head.

"No, it wasn't him. Were currently taking a break, there's too many issues right now. It's too dangerous for us both to be together, I was just thinking some things over that's all." Mika nodded in understanding, but it worried him, just how dangerous was there relationship that she had to spend the night at the beach. Mia bravely took out her phone and turned it on and immediacy .it buzzed uncontrollably, there were over forty missed calls from Aiden which didn't surprise her. Mia had never not come home, and they had an agreement if she ever wet somewhere, she would tell Aiden. Mika studied her sorrowful expression and kindly took the phone and put it down to stop her from feeling guilty.

"You can tell me about him, what do you mean he's dangerous?" Mia felt a wave of anxiety flush over her, Mika had misunderstood. It wasn't Aiden who was dangerous.

"His parents are a very wealthy family…I came from very little so when they found out him and I were dating they made it their business to tear us apart. Those people will do anything to get in-between us, and I mean anything. Aiden isn't dangerous, his parents are." Mia sipped her tea and closed her eyes feeling a weight lift from her shoulders. When Mika didn't say anything, she looked up sheepishly, he was staring at her with wide eyes.

"Aiden Li?" he said weakly. Mia could see a deep hatred in his eyes, it makes her very uneasy.

"Um…do you know him?" Mika clenched his fists.

"Aiden was my senior in high school, everyone used to worship the ground he walked on. I was always jealous of him until one day he settled down, stopped getting into fights and was a really good role model for me. Everyone would say that he found himself a girlfriend that had really helped him…that was you wasn't it?" Mia face went pale, Mika had gone to school with Aiden. Why did he seem so angry?

"Yes, it was me." Mika took a deep breath like he was building himself up to say something.

"How could he treat you like this, shouldn't he be protecting you? Look at your face Mia, you don't deserve that. You're living your life in fear, it's not fair to you." Mia suddenly felt annoyed and her eyebrows furrowed.

"Aiden's doing the best he can, he would never hurt me Mika. If anything, I'm causing him bother, if he had just fell in love with a wealthy girl from the start then we wouldn't be in this mess. I'm troublesome for him. It's may not be fair to me but it's not fair to him either. That's why I spent the night on the beach…I guess I was trying to find a way to save both of us but…I couldn't find one. It's too painful, I don't want to go home because I know what kind of conversation it will be." Mia stopped trying to compose herself as her tear ducts began burning fighting the urge to break down there and then. Mika looked at her with such sympathy, she was such a kind and caring person, yet she was hurting so badly.

"Are you ending things with him?" Mia nodded her head, it was for the best.

"What choice do I have?" Mika and Mia finished their meal and Mia thanked him before leaving, he gave her his number in-case she needed him which she really appreciated. The rest of her day was a masquerade, it was Yu's last day in Shanghai, so Mia went to her house to say goodbye and put on an amazing front the last thing she wanted was to worry her best friend before she left.

"Your accommodation is amazing, I bet you'll be the best chef in Shanghai when you get back." Yu smiled widely and squealed excitedly.

"You better call me every night Mia, I'll miss you too much. You'll be okay, though won't you? You have Aiden after all." Mia laughed and nodded hugging Yu with all of her might. If only that was true, she thought to herself. Mia couldn't even remember their parting clearly her mind was too cluttered with dread knowing once she got back to Aiden's house, everything would be over in an instant. Yu waved before leaving in a taxi, Mia stood on the sidewalk waving excitedly back. She was so proud Yu was perusing her dream at last, she wanted the best for her. Seeing Yu drive away made her heart break, now it was only her and Aiden. Slowly she sat in her car and took a few deep breaths as she began driving home. How was she going to say it? Mia loved him a lot, but this was breaking her too much, she still had a lot more she wanted to do with her life.

Mia pulled up outside of the house and she couldn't gulp a strong breath, it was like a pair of hands around her throat, she felt like she could throw up at any moment. As she sat there silently, she watched the front door fly open and Aiden came running out. His ebony hair and big green eyes swamped her, she couldn't bring herself to look at him. Mia knew it was his parents' scheme to get that girl to seduce him that was clear but when she found them both, Aiden wasn't putting up much of a fight either. Mia got out of the car meeting him halfway on the drive, immediately he walked over and hugged her tightly stroking her long black hair, Mia felt nothing but disgust and kept her hands by her side.

"I was worried about you, I'm so sorry Mia. Please don't hate me." She could hear the pain in his voice and his chest was moving up and down rapidly, he was really panicking, and his eyes suggested he hadn't slept at all.

"We have to talk." She said weakly pushing past him and walking into the house, Aiden had a bad feeling in his gut and followed her in like a puppy. Mia took off her shoes and coat and sat down on the sofa looking at the beautiful scenery outside. Aiden sat down opposite to her trying to figure out what was going on in her head.

"Don't say it." Aiden cut her off angrily before a syllable could escape her lips. Mia looked away from him and bit her lip. Aiden was desperate, he knew when Mia was serious. He didn't know how to change her mind; his head was I ruin.

"I swear to you Mia, she kissed me. I have nothing to do with her. You have to believe me!" Mia glared at him.

"That's your biggest concern? Are you an idiot I know you would never do that to me. That's not why I'm angry. You really can't work it out?" Aiden sat back slightly stunned, Mia wasn't upset about Alice. Aiden tried to work it out, Mia watched his puzzled expression for a while. It was so frustrating that he saw nothing wrong with their relationship.

"Aiden…we don't work. Look at everything that has happened to us since we started dating again. Aren't you tired? Or are you so blinded by having me here, you don't notice what is going on." Mia let loose, she didn't mean to yell but all of the pent-up anger snaked its way up her throat. Aiden sat there looking down at the floor despairingly.

"I noticed. I just thought we were stronger than that." Mia felt a sharp pain in her chest, so he was aware after all.

"Maybe your strong enough Aiden, but I'm not. I can't do this anymore it's killing me. It's affecting my work, I'm afraid of losing you all of the time! We've been attacked, harassed even hospitalized. This is killing us." Aiden clenched his fists, everything she was saying was correct and he couldn't argue against her.

"What do you want me to do? I can't fight my parents Mia." Mia took a deep breath.

"It's okay you don't need to fight them anymore and you don't need to fight me either. I've had enough. I'm moving out, this isn't healthy for either of us and I'm exhausted." Mia said t harshly so Aiden would get the message, there was no point in prolonging this any longer. Aiden looked at her shell-shocked, she really was serious after all.

"So that's it?" he said desperately hoping this was just a temporary mindset, Mia could no longer look at him.

"Sometimes its better to let things go, at least this time we both know where we stand. I'm sorry Aiden." Mia bowed her head and stood up, without saying another word she began walking out of the front door. Aiden scrambled to his feet and grabbed the back of her short pulling her back, his hand was shaking and holding on for dear life. Mia stopped and stared at the car ahead of her. How tempting it was just to turn around and kiss him, lying to him that this was a relationship that would benefit them both, but she couldn't it wasn't fair.

"Please let go of me. It's enough Aiden." She said softly trying not to break his heart even more.

"I can't do this without you Mia." Mia felt like drowning, she never expected this level of vulnerability from him.

"Yes, you can, you have for five years. You should have known this was going to happen. Which one is better, loving and being hurt or hurting and being loved? I've thought about this all night and this is what I want. If we keep going like this, it will break us both trust me." Mia reached behind her and pried his hand from her shirt and walked straight to her car refusing to glance back. What expression did he have right now? What was he feeling right now? Does he hate me? Will he understand?

All of these thoughts thrashed around in her brain, yet she maintained her composure and drove off without looking back, as the house drifted off into the distance so did her feelings, eventually the tears slipped from her chin and she parked the car on the side and sobbed with everything she had. Letting go the one person you treasured the most was a painful thing; your heart feels like it's slitting into too and your blood boils in your veins. You can't breathe and you can't think, then eventually your body goes into survival mode and just as quick as those overwhelming emotions overtake you they are ripped away. Then your hollow…