20. Darkness, Our Home

[Darkness, thou art mine eye, mine limb and thine bosom art mine home.]

Waves of Darkness.

That's all I saw.

Everywhere.

I could see faint outlines of shapes and objects, but they lacked colour and were in a constant fuzzy state.

I tried moving and felt myself shift through the dark world I found myself in.

I found a door and tried opening it only for my body to seep through it.

I then found myself surrounded by dark fizzling trees.

It's here that I heard a strange ringing noise.

I looked north to find a gigantic pillar of light that stretched out towards the sky.

It was so bright, yet so far away and I don't know why but it pissed me off so much that my vision temporarily darkened.

Countless pillars of light-filled this dark world and one was actually quite close.

I floated through the forest to find a bright golden being sitting in front of what looked like a campfire. Rising from her was a pillar of light that stung my eyes to look at.

Sitting next to her was a dark being whose shape fizzled, just like everything else.

"It's OK. Take your time." The Golden being said with a voice that sounded like a series of low sub-bass thumps.

"OK." The Dark being said and its voice sounded like a series of growls.

A moment passed in this dark world as my essence drifted in place.

"I am the strongest warrior the Foph have, but that means nothing when the knights come. You are all so strong that our resistance only ever leads to many deaths." The Dark being, who I assumed was Calëb, said.

"I was born like any other Rendaro child. My mother birthed me and I was given to the Nannies who raised me until o was five. It was pretty obvious that I wasn't a normal girl due to my size and strength and so they tossed me into the Pits with the other boys where we fought each other every day for rewards like extra food and weapons. I eventually grew up to become a warrior and it wasn't long before I became a Lesser Arcus. I proved myself to the previous Arcusus by killing many of the knights who caused us trouble at the time and I eventually became a Greater Arcus. The Arcusus eventually died, but before he did, he announced that I would take his title in his place. As a child, I always thought that being the Arcusus meant that you had to protect the Foph, no matter the cost, but, after being leader, I noticed that whenever we fought the knights, we'd lose far more people than they did. I then tried decided to try trading with the knights and it was fairly successful. All the normal knights seemingly ever wanted was a few Rendaro for labour and maybe a few women. Everything changed when Petrus came." Calëb said.

The gold being, who I assumed was Yna remained silent while Calëb rubbed her arms.

"He annihilated my entire troop and… he forced himself onto me, but just as he removed my clothes, he looked at my body before looking into my eyes. He then told me that my body was dirty and ugly before tossing me aside. He then walked into the settlement where he broke into the Breeding Dens, there he raped every single woman who wasn't pregnant. I tried my best to stop him, but every attempt left me beaten and broken. Petrus eventually exited the Den and told me that he expected a fresh batch of women upon his return. I tried killing him again and like before, he beat me to the ground before leaving the Oasis. My men and I repaired what had been broken and buried the dead. Petrus's victims were taken to a safe place where they weren't required to birth children while I conversed with the Greater Arcus's and we deduced that Petrus must have found out that he could get his hands on Rendaro women in our Oasis from the other knights who'd done the same." Calëb said before grabbing what looked like a box.

"We tried training as many Rendaro as we could to deal with stronger knights and to our surprise, they were quite effective against normal knights and even some silver knights… but when Petrus returned, they were all slaughtered and again, he beat me up while cursing my pitiful attempt at resistance. He then broke into our Breeding Dens once more, but unlike the last time, we had managed to hide the women. This enraged Petrus and so he grabbed me, threw me into one of the huts and there he raped me. Regardless of how many of my men threw themselves at him, it was never enough. He… he violated me even though we were both swimming in the blood of my people." Calëb said, but due to the dark nature of this dark world, I couldn't tell if she was crying.

"Days passed and my body grew cold and numb from hunger and pain. My men ultimately offered Petrus some women and it was only then that he removed himself from my body." Calëb said.

Silence enveloped the dark world as no one spoke.

Yna crossed her legs while faintly tapping her fingers.

"So that's why you were so desperately begging for protection. Mmm… how did you know that I wasn't going to kill and violate your people?" Yna asked.

"Because you'd have done it as soon as you arrived. Most Golden knights don't bother asking. They just take whatever they want and leave, but none were ever as bad as Petrus."

Yna seemingly nodded before pointing at a spot just in front of her.

"Kneel while facing that tree," Yna instructed while pointing in my direction.

If I had eyes in this formless form, they would have widened.

"P- Pardon?" Calëb asked.

"Kneel, my dear. Katsíki has decided to protect you. Show him how grateful you are."

Calëb looked in my direction before slowly walking up to a spot just in front of me.

She looked around in confusion.

"Go on. Just act like Katsíki is in front of you."

Calëb nodded before lowering her head.

"T-thank you, Katsíki for-"

"Raise your head! Is Katsíki somehow beneath you? Look up and tell him how grateful you are!" Yna yelled, shaking the dark world I inhabited.

Calëb looked dead into my eyes and I wasn't sure but felt as though she was crying.

"Thank you, Katsíki!"

"IS THAT ANY WAY TO REFER TO THE ONE WHO WILL BE YOUR SAVIOR?"

"Thank you, lord Katsíki!"

"You absolute piece of shit! He can't hear you! Scream it!"

"THANK YOU, LORD KATSÍKI!"

I backed away.

This is not what I wanted.

Who would want to be worshipped like this?

Or feared like this-

Shit.

.

..

I awoke to find myself on Yna's lap.

Run!

That's what I thought.

That's what I wanted to do, but I was becoming accustomed to the stress.

The anxiety.

The pain.

"Good morning," Yna said.

I waved my hoof at her before crawling out from her lap.

We were in her cabin and the morning sunlight gently bathed its interior.

I looked at Yna and watched as she tied her neck long white hair into a ponytail.

I wondered how old she was exactly, but I like being alive and so I didn't ask.

I looked at the door and for some reason, I didn't want to open it.

This feeling didn't last long.

I tapped the door and Yna opened it before following me outside.

We then made our way to the dojo to find that all the Rendaro were awake.

Either they'd woken up early or they hadn't slept at all.

I didn't care.

We had work to do.

I walked up to Tal and the other Ia only to be greeted with eyes that were filled with animosity and even fear.

I didn't care.

"Come on. We're heading back to Eimval, but we'll walk along the stream while I cleanse the land around it. I think that with enough focus, I can cleanse while moving." I said, but my only replies were silent stares.

"Alright," I said before walking to Calëb whose eyes were swollen.

She instantly lowered her eyes as I stood in front of her.

"You stay here. We'll take care of your problems when I return. And Calëb… make sure you and your people behave." I said.

Calëb simply nodded.

I sighed before leaving the dojo where I raised the makeshift dark coffin containing Karish.

The Ia followed Yna and I out of Coh and we made our way towards the stream where I absorbed darkness as we made our way south.

Nothing was said as the minutes crawled by.

It was Anda who eventually walked up to me, even though I heard Tal and Olen try and dissuade him.

"Sir-"

"Call me Katsíki."

"K- Katsíki, just what do you plan on doing with the Foph? Apart from helping them with whatever their problem was." Anda asked.

"Good question. The Foph are mine now and I plan on reshaping many of their ways and I won't stop until they are capable of living with others peacefully."

"Pardon my frankness, but I think you're wasting your time-"

"Anda!" Tal yelled, but Olen gently pressed his hand on his chest, making the Elder lower his head.

"Oh? What would you have me do?" I asked while stopping in front of the young Rendaro.

"Kill them," Anda said with an expressionless face.

"Oh?"

"Yes. You could make them pay for what they did while reducing half the things you'll have to worry about." Anda said with trembling lips.

"And then what? What'll come of all that death? Will that bring back the lives of those you've lost?"

"No, but it's better than letting those dogs walk while our loved ones rot in the dirt," Anda said and at this point, his face was a twisted mess of tears and twitching muscles.

"The answer isn't always more violence. With time, the Foph will change. You just need to have hope-"

"That's the thing, lord Katsíki," Olen said as he walked up to Anda.

He then wrapped his arm around the weeping Rendaro.

"We've never known hope. For the longest time, we've hidden in Eimval. Certain that our death would come and we would fulfil a purpose we didn't know was malicious. Now we're moving forward with plans of bringing the Ia to the surface. The same plane on which the murderers of our loved ones roam. Where is the hope in any of that?" Olen asked.

I looked at Yna, but she was expressionless and her eyes were dim.

"I… I hate to admit it, but I don't have all the answers. But you have to understand that violence isn't the answer. What will you do when the Silver and Golden knights ultimately make their appearance? What if they are stronger than Yna and they manage to defeat her? Will you just roll over and accept death? No. When that dark day comes, you will fight. Even if it all ends up being for nothing. I want you to tap into the well. Find hope within yourselves. You must not give in to vengeance. The Ia will rise… and I will protect you." I said before facing the rising sun.

"If you cannot believe in yourself… then place all your burdens on me. No matter how much it hurts, I'll bare it all. Your pain. Your anger. Your grief. I'll bare it while erecting a city with tall, dark walls that will protect the Ia. For now, all I ask is that you rise above your need for vengeance."

Olen tightly clung to Anda who was still loudly crying.

Olen was also flustered, but he looked me in my eyes before deeply sighing.

"Fine, Katsíki. But I just want you to know that the next time Ia blood is next spilt, it is you who'll have to bear the responsibility. And for the time after that and the time after that."