1 Hello creepy old guy

Hi, I'm Elijah(ee-lie-Jah), or Eli for short. I'm a fairly normal dude, the usual kid you may see in the halls of hell(school). nothing stands out about my life other than I am without a dad but again normal.

Funnily enough, the craziest thing that happened to me is my end, or more accurately the end. Yep, I said THE end so you best know it's juicy. Wanna know? Well, that's too damn bad cause I ain't telling.

Now I'm sitting in front of an old man who ill assume is God. I ain't going to start the talk and come off as pretentious to someone who could probably just wipe me from existence.

"Hello, Mr. Elijah you may be wondering why you're here. Or if this is heaven or hell but no, this is standard procedure for reincarnation and transmigration. Now as procedure states you get three wishes, please state them so I may get to the next mortal "

Oh ok. Now for my most important decisions where do, I wanna go, and do I wanna be op. I will just do some minor things. What do I want though?

I want to fight, kill, taste the forbidden fruit, raise a family, be a blacksmith, be a scientist, get arrested, travel, have a heartfelt moment, and die. Now I know that last part sounds bad but think about it, I have already died and come here so that means every time I die I come here no matter what so it's a second chance.

Now for the wishes, what would give me the best advantage yet not immediate power. I got it.

" Before my first wish, I want to ask a question. what are the limits of what I can wish for?"

"There are a few things you can't wish for like the three O's since no one is. Also, you can't wish for more wishes".

" Ok for my first wish I want the ability to freeze and unfreeze time with no bad side effects. The second wish is the ability to evolve into a new species dependent on what I eat. The third wish is to have a "system" that gives me rewards and skills depending on what I eat and do. Are these acceptable?"

"Yeah, but why a system? I mean they are just a stupid concept to me."

"I put it in air quotes cause it's only a display screen to help motivate and remind me of power and needs".

" Oh ok seems fine."

"Hey, so can you make it like the system will send me to a place to get beaten up or train If I need it?"

"Sure."

Alright, let's get this LSD kaleidoscope over with.

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