Living With A Mouse
Finally, back home.
I sighed and opened the door to my apartment. I lock the lock and take off my shoes; I press the switch on the wall to light the living room, put my bag and coat on the couch, then looked at my watch.
It's late.
Sighing with fatigue, I grab a plate of Lazania from the fridge and sit on the living room couch, turning on the TV. Stretch my legs and feel the crack in my bones, yawning as I watch a documentary on an animal channel.
"The white lion is threatened with extinction, this disappearance is mainly due to man who transforms the lions' hunting areas into cultivation areas and slaughters the predator's prey, making it difficult for it to feed..."
Huh, documentaries about animals have changed. Before, they showed us how they live in nature, now… it's only to show us that they will disappear. Well … good luck to the animals.
I don't hate animals, I even tried once to save the pandas. They had difficulty reproducing, and they were more than four … so I had to send money for an association so that the pandas could … fuck. I stopped doing that, I asked myself… what am I doing? Am I paying hookers to a panda?
I took a bite out of Lazania, and then… A mouse came by… I looked in his eyes, looked in mine, after a weird silence, runs away.
"Great… one more thing in my life"
I'm not the action guy type; I grab my laptop, go to Google, and type …
[Mouse]
I look at a lot of stuff, then I type…
[Life expectancy of a mouse]
2 years … I will wait; it passes quickly 2 years. I threw away my meal, turned off the television, and went to bed.
The next day, after taking a good shower and getting dressed, I make breakfast, serve myself my cereal, and I see… poop, mouse poop…
The Mouse shat in my cereals!
You live in my house, don't pay the rent, and shit in my cereals!
I grab my laptop, go to Google, and type…
[How to get rid of a mouse]
I search, and I find several forums of people who know WAY TOO much about mice… all bullshit advice.
[(SIMP69) Actually, what you need to do is very simple, mice basically feed on your food... you need to remove all food from your home]
…
Dump ass … I would like to feed myself too.
I kept looking.
[(HolePluger99) You have to find the mouse hole and plug it up]
No … not that hole …
[(MouseExterminator)You need 1 tablespoon of baking powder, 2 tablespoons of flour, 4 tablespoons of crushed salted peanuts, 1 tablespoon of sugar 2 tablespoons of toothpaste.
Mix all the elements in a container until you get a compact and homogeneous mixture. Next, form small balls and place them in areas where you have seen mice. The rodents should be attracted to the sugar and peanuts, and once they taste the bait, it should solve your problem]
This one looks like he knows what he's doing, so I did what he wrote.
I search the apartment and find the mouse hole, and it's exactly like in... Tom and Jerry, an arc…
I wonder if there is a little table with a bit of cheese on it… having breakfast with his wife, Miss Mouse "how was your day" Mr.Mouse " I had a great day, I shat in his cereals, it was cool"
You should not have done that, I put the balls in front of the mouse door, and I hide.
The mouse comes out, sniffs the balls, and then eats them.
Bingo!
After a minute, the mouse stops eating and falls to the ground. I came out of my hideout, approached the mouse, and saw that it was looking at me with an expression that said, "W...WHY..." And me, in return, I gave it an expression that said, "You were not supposed to SHIT IN MY CEREALS!"
I took a broom to clean everything, and suddenly I started to feel a pain in my chest, it hurt a lot; I collapsed on the floor, my consciousness began to fade, before closing my eyes … I swear I saw the mouse smirked like everything went like planned to.
"What the …"
I passed out.