6 Chapter 6

As I walked back to the produce section, Ry waylaid me, his facial expression tight. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure,” I said and followed him into the staff break room. No one else was present. “What’s up?”

“You need to keep the amount of time you spend chitchatting with a customer to a minimum. We don’t want people to get upset because our employees are spending more time flirting than doing actual work.” Oh, that stung.

“I beg your pardon? In no way was I flirting. That was someone I hadn’t seen since college, who just so happened to be a customer. What was I supposed to do, be rude? That’s against company policy, isn’t it? The customer is to be pleased at all costs. I thought that was my job description.”

“Well, you don’t have to suck his dick to do it. You can’t really be that desperate.”

I rarely lost my temper, but I suddenly saw red, though beneath it all, he’d just made me feel ten times worse than I already did about myself. “You fucking hypocrite! Didn’t I see you withTrent”—the name dripped with sarcasm and disgust—”a little while ago? Talk about desperate.”

Ry blushed but didn’t back down. “I’m your supervisor. I’ll do what I feel is necessary to keep things running smoothly.”

“Even if it means belittling and insulting your underlings? Even if you step on toes or overstep your authority? Thanks for that.” I backed away from him. “You know what? You’re right. You’re the man in charge. I don’t matter. I’ll do exactly as you say, sir. Have a pleasant afternoon, sir.”

With that, I left the room, finished my shift, and went home. Asshole.

* * * *

That evening as I picked at my dinner, I thought about that chance meeting with Roger. It was nice to see someone from my past and to find out he’d remembered me fondly. Maybe now I had more than one friend in the world. And after Ry’s ridiculous behavior toward me—the fuck?—I needed something positive to dwell on. Buzz was always saying I should do more, and Roger agreed with him, in his own way. What was I waiting for? I could feel a Sound of Musicmoment coming on…

I put away the rest of my food for leftovers and made a decision. Instead of dwelling on hurts and disappointments, I should try to make a change in my life. I had to do something, and it was beyond time. And wasn’t that a scary thought?

As I got ready for bed, my eye caught on one of the few books I’d kept from college, gathering dust on the floor of my tiny closet. It was a philosophy text that I’d particularly enjoyed. I wondered…maybe I could go back to school? I’d been wallowing in my malaise for so long I’d forgotten how much I’d loved learning new things. Worrying about bills and constantly dealing with minutia could make you brain-dead.

It was one of the reasons I’d gotten a Liberal Arts degree in the first place, so I could study a bunch of things and get a wider view of the world. Maybe it was time to sharpen the focus a bit, because the way my life was headed, the road ahead seemed endless and dispiriting. And my jerk of a manager had been the icing on the cake and so unlike my expectations of the man, from past experience.

The argument with Ry still rankled. I didn’t know what his beef was, but perhaps that was the necessary push I’d needed to move forward. I got into bed, grabbed my laptop, and went online to check out courses for a variety of master’s degree programs. I looked into financing—ouch—and what would give me the best bang for my buck. Not being a people-person, something that wasn’t people-intensive on a large scale would be preferable. Though, if I could get something for being a teacher’s assistant, I’d take a Valium every day to get over the jitters of dealing with a classroom. Whatever it took.

Library Sciences called to me the most out of all my options. I had no interest in becoming a lawyer or a business manager of any kind, but I could definitely get behind being a librarian in any capacity. I’d been out of school for a while, but already my brain was clamoring for knowledge, and more of it.

* * * *

By the time I headed out to work on Monday morning, I’d sent enquiries to a few colleges and felt more excited than I had about anything in a long time. That talk I’d had with Roger and the argument with Ry had bust something open inside that said, “I can do better.” And so I would.