1 I am not a human anymore

as I was gazing at the blue sky, what my life would be if I wasn't born in this beautiful World? this thought popped up in my head.

my answer to the question was simple. I prefer that I didn't exist in this unforgivable world.

suddenly my dad from downstairs called me to help with his chores. at first I tried to ignore it. but my current situation didn't allow me the choice.

I rushed downstairs to see why he called me?

I asked what happened? then he replied will you please get me some eggs from the market?

I was furious not because that he asked me to do the work but because next to me my brother was sitting and reading web novel all day who doesn't do any work in the house just eats and sleep all day.

even though he is free but I have to do the work. next I took the money and went for the shopping, bottling my rage and tint of sadness underneath my void facade.

I wonder what can I do in this scenario. did you prefer I should have yelled at them.

that thought crossed my mind. but what can you do when you are at the age of 24 who had graduated from an prestigious Institute but failed to land a job? .that's no job -no respect-no girl friend&stay virgin.

yes, I am unemployed mooching off from my parents. that doesn't mean I am a NEET( not in education and employment or training) or not my choice in the matter.

in short my family thinks me useless, the society which doesn't give me a job but label me as a loser.

the thought of suicide crossed my mind but I am such a coward I backed off.

some times I imagine that if I could die and reincarnate as some macho handsome overpowered hero who flirts around with bunch of cute and busty girls. which I have watched in many manhwa and comics.

but in reality nobody knows what happens after some one dies. it is just escapism from this grim reality.

as these thoughts filled my head as I was crossing the signal. a Black sedan from left side rushed and hit me.

I couldn't see or hear anything. my life flashes before my eyes. I was relived and scared at the same time. I hated my family for treating me like a garbage at the end I loved them.

my eyes filled with tears and regret. I could hear noises and someone calling the ambulance. but I know l can't make it because I feeling cold and light was fading from my eyes.

at the last moment I prayed to God if there's such a thing as reincarnation or rebirth. I don't want to be born as a human in this planet and had lived my next life with no regrets.