35 Chapter 32

It was not the first time the commander had denied answers. All these years with the duke had already made it clear that it was futile pursuing answers because not even a sigh would leave his master's mouth unwarranted.

He thrusted his hips in agitation. The person he fell in love with was not like this. He was someone playful, courageous and confident than this cowering cat in front of him. It was pathetic watching him keep up pretenses. If only the duke would confide in him more…

"W-wait! Hahh! Go slow…er please…?!" the duke was barely keeping up with his pace. He begged to be able to control his voice. The pleasure was too much for him. But the commander was relentless. Watching Leon squirm in his arms only made him do it harder.

It had been hours since the moon climbed up in the sky. They've been at it for so long that Leon lost all track of time. His knees had already lost all strength and he would've collapsed flat on his face if Fredrick wasn't holding him up by his arms. He wondered how he'd be able to work the next day. He didn't even have any energy to move a muscle, let alone resist the person behind him. He could no longer think sanely.

Suddenly, the commander hugged his body from behind, making him arch his back such that there was no space between their bodies. "If you tell me what you were thinking, I'll stop." he whispered into Leon's ears, to pull him back from his sweet reverie.

However, Leon didn't utter a word. All of a sudden, he had become so aware that even his moans died in his throat.

"Okay. Fine. Let me ask something else." Fredrick seethed. He was getting more impatient by the second, probably because he was at his wit's end, never receiving a proper answer to his questions.

The duke's back suddenly felt really cold. He cowered but couldn't escape, as the commander was still holding him. "What happened between you and the duke that day?" he referred to the former duke, his father. The confident Leon that went into his father's office that day, returned as a different person. He broke their promise of staying together and suddenly married his "pregnant" fiancé.

Was he two-timing him from the start? Ha! He would never… he couldn't. After all, no one would sleep with a man just on whim and make empty promises on bed. Pillow talks were never his way of doing things. Then why? What happened that day? Just why wouldn't the duke confide in him more?

He pulled out and dropped Leon back on the bed. Anyway, he wasn't answering. He won't answer. Fred knew it all along. It was frustrating watching him suffer alone. It's been years since they engaged romantically. It should've been enough time for him to open up, but every time Fred tried to poke him, Leon would just shrivel up even more. Should he just give up everything?

"If you never wanted me, you could've just said the words. I'd have left without you trying to chase me away like this. You're just too cruel."

"W-why are you saying that?" Leon panicked. He had never imagined, even in his wildest dreams, that Fred would say something like this.

Fred was getting desperate. He didn't know what was coming over him, but he knew he could never take back the words he was going to spew out today. He was going to hurt Leon so much if he didn't stop now. But nothing in the world could stop him from spitting all the venom in his heart out onto Leon's face.

"Ha! you really don't know anything? Or are you just that ignorant?" he fumed. "I'm done trying to keep up with you and Ha! I finally get it. This is why Derek hates you so much."

"Wh-wh-what?!" The duke was bewildered at his own condition. What was it that he desperately holding onto again? Was it his meagre bit of pride? Could it shatter away so easily just by a couple of questions?

Meanwhile, Fredrick watched silently. He watched the blood drain from Leon's face and his demeanor turn haggard. The commander's fists were so tightly clenched that his fingernails almost dug into his skin. He was just trying to control the urge to just hug Leon's weak figure. But being a knight for so many years, he had known just where to hit. He couldn't back down now after all this. If all of this could still not make the duke spill the beans, then he had no idea what would.

But it seemed that the duke had lost control. It was as if all was a lie. His mind was foggy, probably because he was denied rest all night, and now he had lost all ability to think rationally. He wondered if he'd even have anyone left to call his own if even Fred abandons him. He knew long before any of this even started that this relationship had an expiration date. He was probably selfish, trying to hang onto Fred, but understood this better than anyone that one day, every mirage will shatter. He just didn't know everything will crumble away so soon, so suddenly. Should he just tell him? But then wouldn't everything he went through will be in vain? What if Fred starts hating him even more and leaves him for real? But even if he didn't tell him, he's going to leave anyway…

His vision went blurry as tears pooled up in his eyes. As he was mulling over his options, he felt the weight shift on his bed. He looked up in a hurry, only to see the commander already standing up with his back facing him.

Wha- what? Did he take too long to answer that Fred got tired of waiting? What if he leaves and never comes back?

"W-wait! Don't- Uff!" the duke tried getting up, but his knees were too weak for him to even take his own weight, probably a result of going at it for hours. However, Leon was in no state to care for a pain that would pass away the next day. It was nothing compared to watching the man he loved walk out on him. Though he had wronged Fred so many times, he still wanted to hold on to him. There was indeed nothing more wretched than this feeling in his heart.

He crawled on his knees and grabbed the right knee of the commander from behind. The tears duke had been holding back, spilled out without his permission. His feeble figure trembled unconsciously and his hands felt warm, almost feverish, on the commander's cool knees.

"Don't go." the duke whispered in a voice so small that the commander almost didn't hear it. "Please!"