18 Chapter 17

'While he's away, you'll get time think about your priorities and he could think about his.'

What Leonard had said to him in the study, repeated like a parrot's tale in Derek's mind. Even though Derek absolutely loathed the idea of Leonard interfering in his relationship with Hansel, he couldn't brush off those words the Duke spoke light-heartedly.

It was not just a simple matter that could be solved with Derek being sure of his feelings for Hansel. There were other things to consider as well.

Even if he disregarded the fact that both of them are men, it was the first time he was actually considering to be in a serious relationship. His love for Julia was unrequited and except for a few short exchanges, he wasn't allowed to approach her. Even those few conversations ended when Julia married into the duchy as Leonard's wife. That being said, his experience in romantic relationships was zero. And more than that, he had to make sure that Hansel understood his feelings as well.

When Derek first came on to Hansel, it was supposed to be nothing more than an urge to shatter his general, bored façade and squeeze out some reaction from him. But surprisingly, he couldn't let go of him once he saw Hansel's red face as he blushed hard. His teary eyes and trembling, wet lips, that he could see clearly despite the dark, looked as if Hansel was inviting him to toy with him further. An invisible string kept pulling him to Hansel again and again, telling him it was futile to escape.

So, when he saw that instead of rejecting his advances, Hansel had started accepting him little by little, Derek couldn't give up anymore. The fire he had thought was already extinguished inside of him, lit up once again.

The desire to monopolize him, to make him cry and console him as well, to just keep Hansel to himself, all these emotions kept welling inside of him whenever he saw the apprentice knight.

"Nhh…"

Derek was brought back from his thoughts when Hansel let out a sleepy moan. He took a few small stretches and settled down once again. He looked like he was really comfortable in Derek's arms. Lost in dreams and defenseless, he received a kiss from the latter on his forehead.

While the apprentice knight was sleeping peacefully in front of his eyes, Derek's mind was in a turmoil. While he was happy that Hansel had started accepting him, it was still true that Hansel was being dragged around at his pace, though unconsciously. It would actually be a better choice to give Hansel some time and space to organize his thoughts and wait for him to come around, rather than make him regret their relationship later.

Derek drifted into sleep soon. It might be the influence of Hansel sleeping peacefully in front of him, or the exhaustion from his thoughts turning cumbersome with each passing moment, but he was able to take a peaceful afternoon nap at the end.

By the time he woke up, it was already late in the evening. He could tell because when he opened his eyes, he could see nothing but pitch black. However, he felt at ease finding that his source of warmth was still there beside him. It had been a while since he had a dreamless sleep like that.

Hansel tossed and turned while Derek's arms were still wrapped around him. Maybe all this commotion he was causing beside him, was what woke Derek from his slumber. He was trying to loosen Derek's grip around him but gave up after a few tries. However, he did not stop there.

His calloused hands were soon caressing Derek's cheek, carefully, as if trying to not wake him up. Little did he know that Derek was wide awake. All the lingering drowsiness had left him as soon as Hansel's palm touched his face. It felt warm against the cool breeze that brushed his cheeks.

Derek closed his eyes at once, pretending to be asleep. Though Hansel wouldn't know because of the dark, it was still better to be prepared. So much as he wanted to grab the hands rubbing his cheeks, he kept his desire in control. He was curious to see what Hansel was going to do further.

As if answering to his curiosity, Hansel placed his lips on Derek's, dropping him a soft kiss. He blushed in the dark at his courageous act. But he had no idea that the man he thought was sound asleep in front of him had turned red too.

Derek would have been surprised, had he seen the kind of expression he was wearing in the mirror. He had never expected Hansel to kiss him, more so while he was supposed to be asleep. He was dumbfounded to the point that his thoughts had all jumbled up in his head.

He wanted to know if Hansel had done something like this to him before, while he was still asleep. But of course, he couldn't ask that in the current situation. If Hansel came to know that he was pretending all this while and that his actions were known, it would only shy him away.

But no matter what Derek planned in his head, it all went to waste. Hansel's kiss lasted no more than a second. Derek felt disappointed and cold when Hansel's lips left his. He absolutely didn't want the sensation to stop and so, the hands which were already around Hansel, pulled him even closer and erased any distance that had been between them previously.

Kissing Hansel felt sweet.

Derek frowned at the foreign taste but he didn't spare Hansel until he was breathless. Afterwards, Derek licked his lips, satisfied.

"What, what? Y-you were awake?" Hansel's stuttered. Derek could tell he was blushing despite the dark, as his cheeks were warmer than they were before.

"Did you eat something sweet?" Derek asked back, choosing to ignore Hansel's question because it would be bothersome to go down that lane.

"O-oh, yes. I ate some cookies from the snacks Mr. Butler had brought in the afternoon. I was really hungry and because you told me not to leave..." Hansel replied, nervous that he had eaten something before his master. But what broke his sleep was his own stomach, grumbling in agony, so it was hard to control when delicious food was just an arm's length away from him.

"It's fine. Don't fret about small matters. So, did you like them?"

"Yes. I have never had something like them before."

"That old man bakes them himself. You can ask him for some whenever you wish to eat them in future." He ruffled Hansel's hair and they felt great to touch. "Though he doesn't share them with just anyone, I think he'll have no problem giving them to you."

Derek got up to light the lamps. Usually, servants would do it hours ago but since Derek had asked to not get disturbed until he called for them, no one was allowed to enter his room.

"Do you want to eat some as well? I can get them for you. They're just beside the bed." Hansel asked Derek, thinking he left the bed to get the refreshments. He felt cold now that Derek had disappeared from beside him.

"Nah! I don't like sweets."

"Why?" Hansel asked as if it was the most obvious question in the world. He didn't believe that someone would reject cookies as tasty as those he had just had.

They were interrupted by three consequent knocks on the door. The Old Butler had his own peculiar way of knocking at door that even Hansel could guess who was outside after a few brief exchanges.

"Would you like your dinner in the room, sir?" he asked in a loud voice because Derek still hadn't allowed him to enter the room.

"Yes, please prepare dinner for two." Derek answered, as he finished lighting the oil lamps. They heard the retreating steps of the butler.

Derek closed the window which was bringing the cool wind inside. His face looked solemn, even in the flickering lights, as if he was contemplating over something.

"Why don't I take this chance to tell you a story. It is from when I was a kid." Derek said, getting into covers once again. It was certainly warmer beside Hansel.

"When I was young, I used to live in the streets. It's not that I didn't have a house…I had. But I wasn't allowed to come back until it was morning and at that time, I would already be so exhausted that I went to sleep immediately after coming home, so I don't have much memory of it. And even though I can't seem to remember what my mother looked like but I know for sure that she loved me. After she died, I was picked up by the Duke." he let out a bitter chuckle, as he became comfortable beside Hansel.

When he saw a troubled look on Hansel's face, he realized that he had made the atmosphere turn gloomy all of a sudden. He took Hansel's hand in his own and started playing with his fingers.

"I used to play with a group of kids living in the same neighborhood and there was this one kid who liked to brag. His father was a servant in some baron's house and he often tagged along with him. So, he boasted about how he saw various luxuries in the noble household and even managed to plunder some of the toys of noble kids when they weren't looking. One day, he bragged about how the baron gifted him a sweet every time he completed an errand. He boasted about its taste whenever he saw us and had us intrigued. Sugar was still a luxury at that time you see."

Derek kissed Hansel's knuckles lightly before continuing, "Some fine day, a young man approached me and said that he would give me a sweet if I delivered his letter to a fat man sitting on a bench a few shops away. So, I did exactly what he told me. I thought that there was going to be a rosy day for me as well. But when the fat man read the letter, he became enraged and he took his anger out on me. Kicking me with his feet until I had coughed up a pool of blood. There were many who watched but no one came to help a poor kid dressed in rags."

As Derek spoke, Hansel's face turned softer and softer, but the former didn't know because he didn't have enough courage to raise his eyes and look at him.

"I endured it all though. It was a miracle how my small frame took all that thrashing without breaking a bone. But when I thought I was going to get a sweet after all of that ruckus, it was easier to bear the pain. So afterwards I crawled straight to that man, who was also one of those in the crowd who were enjoying my demise, and I demanded that cookie he had promised me. The man got nervous when he saw everyone looking at him. He feared that the fat man would discover that he was the sender of that letter and guess what he gave me? He hit my head with his cane and ran away. So, in the end, what I received was not a cookie but a severely wounded body, lying in the middle of the streets. I would have died that day, but stuff happened and I was brought to the duchy."

Derek curled up in bed. He couldn't like sweets after that. His past was harsh and even though he had forgotten most of it as he grew up, he couldn't forget that pain easily.

Hansel hugged him tightly. He wanted to console him but he didn't want to say something meaningless, so he said nothing.

That day, for the first time he had experience how cruel reality can be. It's either kill or be killed. So, Derek chose the first option. As soon as he learned how to swing a sword, he killed them both, the fat man and the young man with a cane, sending them straight to hell with his sword.

After killing them, he had learned one more lesson that he could do anything if he had power and wealth by his side. Death of both of them was covered easily by the late Duke. But of course, Hansel didn't need to know all the details!

Derek eyed Hansel's chest which was touching his face, and one of his red buds glaring at him right in the eye. He didn't hesitate to take it in his mouth, sucking the life out of it, teasing and nibbling it until it had turned tender to the point that even a slight tickle on it was enough for Hansel to moan painfully.

Three consecutive knocks once again interrupted their act, telling them that their dinner was brought by the butler.

Derek rose up to look at Hansel, who was panting heavily just from his nipples being teased. His flushed self had turned deaf, unaware of any voices other than the thumping of his raging heart.

"The dinner is going to be delicious today!" Derek smirked.

Engrossed in the pleasure he had just received; Hansel didn't realize that a hurricane was already waiting to sweep him off his feet!