1 College graduate with nothing to do

wheee-wooo wheee-wooo

"The f*ck is that?" Dylan groaned and rolled over on his bed so that his face was flat against his soft pillow. He groaned and moaned into his pillow to drown out the sound of the sirens passing through his neighborhood.

Everyday for the past two weeks went the same exact way. Wake up to sirens. Shove down the bitter daily antidepressants down his throat, which claims to do wonders for his self-motivation and bring him some self-worth. He wished he could shove something else down his throat. Something that is a male genitalia. What was he even thinking about? Only in his dreams would he even be in the same room as someone who shares his feelings, and be pushed onto the bed...or the wall...or the bathroom sink... and have the man go to town thrusting into Dylan's perfectly shaped mouth and pulling Dylan's soft brown hair while looking into his deep ocean blue eyes.

Only in his dreams could he share a passion so strong, and so hot, and so hard, with another man. The reason? He was closeted. And he lived with his mom.

"Hey, honey. You're finally up!" Melissa, Dylan's mom called him over with her arm in a sweeping motion towards the dining area. "Boy, were those sirens loud. It could wake up Jesus, Himself! Come sit down so we can pray before we eat this blessed breakfast Dylan baby." Melissa sat back down in the wooden chair opposite from Dylan's "assigned seat."

Dylan nodded and said, "Yeah. It's the same thing everyday in this neighborhood. Why do we live in a place with such high crime?" "It sounds like the ambulances and the police stopped at Ronney's house, just down the block. I wonder what happened." Melissa replied, while calmly sipping her coffee. "I hope he died, that sinful boy Ronney".

"What makes him so sinful, Mom? Why would you wish the death of someone?" Dylan asked, suddenly raising his voice. "Oh don't get angry Dylan. He was a gay boy. Didn't you know that? He fought against God's path to lead him to a straight, good life, so what happened to him? God rejected him. Don't be worried Dylan. As long as you do what's right and what the Bible says, you will live a good long life."

Dylan sat there, gripping onto his fork and knife until his knuckles turned white. "That's right mom. We reap what we sow, don't we?" He said through gritted teeth. He knew what would happen if he went against his mother. He saw what she did to the stranger that complimented his look, one day. It was a man, about his age, one day when they were walking through a new neighborhood, when he complimented Dylan's body. "Hey! You are not to look in my boy's direction, you hear me?" The man just continued walking, "This crazy b*tch", he said laughing. "What did you just call me? Hey, come over here, so you can say it to my face" Melissa grabbed the passerby by his arm and turned him around to face her. Dylan witnessed his mother slap the random passerby just for saying, "Nice ass" to him. Dylan had held onto his mother's arm, with his head down while they walked past the man. The man had a confused face, and Dylan had turned around once passing him and mouthed "Sorry".

Dylan woke up to the present...still clenching onto the fork firmly. He could never open up about his true identity or self because of the fear he had of being disowned by his mother. He couldn't understand if it was his mother or him that was crazy. He couldn't even listen to his own needs and desires if he could, because his whole life surrounded the Bible and his mothers interpretations of it.

"That's right my Dylan baby. You and me both know what happens to gays. They get rightfully shunned out of society, until they want nothing but death."

Dylan firmly held his mouth shut and held back his anger. "Can we just eat mom?" "Yes, of course. But after we thank the Lord." She closed her eyes and reached for both his hands across the table. "Lord, we thank you for the food...we thank you for..." her voice trailed on, as Dylan was stuck in his own thoughts to hear her voice. "...Amen" they both said in unison. All talk was dismissed, as they ate their breakfast that Melissa had prepared.

"I want to leave this place. I want to go far away." He thought to himself. After 15 minutes of sitting at the table, Dylan had washed the dishes and walked to his room. "Mom, I'm going out to see my friend, Jack!" He shouted as he got his backpack ready. His bag made him feel secure. Even if he wasn't going to school, he needed something that would stay unchanged forever, no matter where he went. He slung his bag across his shoulders and ran back down the stairs. He needed fresh air is all. All the emotions that he was holding inside was getting too much for him.

"Alright honey. Make sure to stay out of trouble! Have fun playing video games. Boys will be boys, huh?" She had already turned to face the TV, watching the news, and muttering, "that's what they get...they disobeyed the law, those bastards..." Dylan couldn't stand being in the same room as her any longer and walked out without another word.

Once he passed the corner of his block, he let out a huge sigh. "Now, where to?" "If I could go anywhere, I wouldn't even know where to go" he continued walking and found a small rock to kick. He continued kicking it forward, and he enjoyed the small distraction. The rock bounced to the left, then to the right. "Come on, go forward!" he tried to telepathically make the rock move straight forward.

"Woah there! You gotta watch where you're going kid!" Dylan looked up when he felt a broad chest hit his face. He recognized that face. Oh! It was the man that was slapped by his mother, about two days ago.

"Oh, it's you. The boy with them good cheeks." The man reached behind his back to grab his ass. "What the fuck is wrong with this guy?" He thought to himself. He tried to push him away, but the man held him firmly with his other hand against his back. The man then started to walk towards him, closing in the space until Dylan was trapped between the brick wall and him. "You wanted to show me how sorry you were for that day, right?" He said deeply.

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