45 Release that Chocolate Bar!

Earlier that same day...

Ye Zuliao and Zhou Hua scuttled through space, heading toward Lord Gulon's Forest Garden. They stood atop a pale white disc, a reflection of the cloud they had been standing on in Cloud Dragon's Firmament. Surrounding them were fractured purple pulses of spatial energy, zooming past, enabling their transport. Being who he was, Ye Zhuliao reached out with his mouth to try eating some of that spatial tempest.

Immediately, some of the rushing waves flew toward his mouth and then were devoured. Once he got a taste of it, he spat and gagged, coughing violently and scraping the residue off of his tongue.

"Oh, goodness! No! Blegh! BLLEEUUGHH!"

Zhou Hua laughed to herself and shook her head, mentally preparing herself for more of such sights. She chose Ye Zuliao for this very reason: he was a glutton that would dare to eat anything at all. When it came to devouring, he was an 'eat first, taste later' kind of person.

Following a loud bang, the disc came to a halt and the spatial energy vanished from around them. Surrounding them now was a vast garden, filled with plants and trees of varying sizes. The bright light of the sun filled the atmosphere with an aura of calm, and the soft wind brought welcoming remarks to Zhou Hua and Ye Zuliao.

"What are those?" Ye Zuliao pointed over to a number of strange, square-shaped, glass architectures. They could see a set of furniture within the glass structures, and light sources that were shaped almost like tears hanging from the ceiling.

"I don't know. I've never seen glass houses like those..." Zhou Hua looked away. Though it was an intriguing sight, she was more interested in seeing what sort of ingredients she could find here. There was a marked path running throughout the garden, leading to every single section.

"Golden carrots... Some form of apple... Glowing oranges..."

Zhou Hua immediately started making a list of the things she could identify, finding that there were a lot of things she had never seen before. "Brother Zuliao, have you ever seen such things?"

Ye Zuliao had been pressed up against the glass, licking it with a weird expression. When he heard Zhou Hua call, he peeled himself away from it and went to her side. Staring at the object in her hand, he scratched his head and shook it.

"S...ski-skitt?"

"You can understand these characters?"

"Mm! Wanshi once tried to teach me those hieroglyphs, so I know a little. It says 'skittles.' What a weird name."

Zhou Hua examined the bright red packet, scrutinizing the rectangular shape and the additional smaller writings on the front and back. Squeezing it, she felt the tiny sphere-esque shapes that filled it. "Peculiar."

Aside from the Skittles, there were also packets that read, 'Doritos,' 'Lay's,' 'Wai Wai 1-2-3 Noodles,' 'Shrimp Chips' and 'Haw Flakes.' Zhou Hua decided against investigating further, but Ye Zuliao hurriedly breached the packets and started to indulge.

"These Skittles! They're sweet and tough! You can chew them, suck on them, or just swallow them whole- AHEUGH!" Ye Zuliao started choking and coughing violently.

"Yuck! Wai Wai 1-2-3 Noodles? These aren't noodles!"

"They have to be boiled and flavored, Brother Zuliao."

"...oh... But these Haw Flakes, though! They're amazing!"

He convinced Zhou Hua to try them as well, and so she also experienced new flavors and textures. She was so impressed that she tried to get Ye Zuliao to read the additional information, but he failed epically.

"Mal... Mal-maltodek... Maltarodekis... *Ahem* Mornosodayum Glootomayto..." [He's trying to say Maltrodextrin and Monosodium Glutamate, which are ingredients of Doritos.]

Finding many such items laying on beds of leaves, scattered throughout the forest garden, they continued their search for new ingredients.

"Big Foot! Wow! What are those?"

"M... something... M's? What's that squiggly thing?"

At some point, they arrived at a particularly large tree, standing on its own in a section of the garden with a partially hollow trunk. Upon closer inspection, something was stashed away within the hollow of the trunk, just barely hidden from sight. If someone didn't walk up to the tree and stare inside, they would never find this item.

"It's another one of those things..." Zhou Hua took hold of the packet, and Ye Zuliao read it, "100 Grand."

Reacting to her touch, the packet started to emit a glow and the wind wailed as it was sent into a disarray. The leaves on the trees rustled violently, but despite the power of that wind they were not blown down.

The glowing packet starting shaking, eventually wresting itself free from Zhou Hua's hand. It levitated in the air and, as the rampant energy around it gradually calmed down, a voice came from it.

"Oooohhh... Oooohhhhhh! OOOOOHHHHH!!!"

Stunned, the two looked on in abject terror as the 100 Grand moved toward them.

"I SEE!"

Ye Zuliao gulped and Zhou Hua took a step back, still trying to process it all.

"Even in this haven, it seems I am unsafe; human gluttony transcends even Lord Gulon's protection!"

Without the rage, that voice was smooth and clear, seeming feminine. Zhou Hua shook her head, denying that they were ever going to eat the 100 Grand.

"Do not bother lying, human. I can smell the hunger on you."

"Actually," Ye Zuliao said, "I just farted, so..."

"Sickening," the 100 Grand snorted coldly, which was odd to the two of them. It moved even closer, until it was mere centimeters away from them. Though it had no eyes, they could feel it glaring at them, cold and unforgiving.

"Such is the life of a chocolate bar: sitting and waiting for some ravenous idiot to shred every iota of safety and ingest you, dooming you to the confines of a woeful acid pit. Cursed to collapse as each and every element of your being- every sugary atom- is assimilated by that gourmandizing shithead!"

"I spit!" the 100 Grand tried to spit, instead making an odd movement. "I spit on you humans and your taste buds, your dream-crushing teeth and your monstrous stomach pits! I spit on you all!"

Ye Zuliao and Zhou Hua stood together, glancing at each other for a moment as the chocolate bar droned on.

"And for what!? For the sake of indulgence!? For the chewy caramel of my bones!? The milk chocolate blood that runs through my layers!? Or is it for the crispy crunchiness of my soul!? Why!? Tell me why!"

Ye Zuliao raised a finger, opening his mouth to answer.

"Do not answer! Do you know nothing of rhetoric, you numbskull, meathead dipstick! I know exactly why you do it. It is because you are a race of birdbrained bozos! An entire species of chowderheaded palookas! All of you! Unable to see that by ceaselessly devouring me and my kind, you sap away at the vestiges of health and vitality within you. Why else would you do it?"

Zhou Hua lowered her head, Ye Zuliao tilted his to the side. Both were deeply regretful... that they had ever pulled that chocolate bar from the tree.

"Lady Luck smiled on me the day I was placed in that window display case- oh! I remember it so clearly. Poured out into a box like dead fishes so that your greedy eyes could spot us in the sunlight. Sunlight! The sweltering kind that scorched our skin and turned our insides to mush! Mush! How can you bring yourself to eat the mushy guts of my people! How!?"

Ye Zuliao opened his mouth yet again, "Uh-"

"BE QUIET! IT WAS RHETORICAL!"

The 100 Grand chocolate bar spun around in the air out of pure frustration, trying to alleviate some of the anger boiling within it.

"My brother, 2 Piece King Size... eaten. My sister, Milk Chocolate Covered... sampled and tossed into the garbage... My closest friend, Hot Wheels 1964 Chevrolet Nova Delivery Wagon 100 Grand Candy Chevy Pop Culture... forcibly swallowed and made to travel the intestines of some child."

"You humans are all detestable creatures, deserving nothing but contempt and slow, painful deaths! How would you like it, if I flayed you, exposing your flesh and organs before eating you!"

"What a humiliation! Yet it is what you do to my kind every single day! Every day! Have you no heart? No morality? No decency!?"

Zhou Hua and Ye Zuliao sat down, silently going over the list of items they had made earlier. The 100 Grand didn't seem to notice or care; all it wanted was to get its point across.

"I have a dream today! Even as I remain in hiding here, I contemplate that dream! A dream where ever human settlement shall be engulfed in eternal flames! My kind shall be above you all, and every human king shall be made low! The candy shops will be made monuments to honor my fallen brethren, the vendors shall be made into slaves and the glory of Chocolate Bars everywhere will shine everlasting! We shall dominate you! I will ensure it!"

Zhou Hua and Ye Zuliao were now laid back on the grass, bouncing around ideas to each other. Ye Zuliao recalled the taste of each item, and aided Zhou Hua in finding the perfect items to pair them with. Together, they came up with quite a few potential recipes. By now, the 100 Grand chocolate bar had gone off into another cluster of words.

"... not a victory of party but a celebration of freedom- symbolizing an end as well as a beginning- signifying renewal as well as change."

"... an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But, if need be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die..."

As this was happening, something was approaching the forest garden. Beyond the greenery, there was a massive hedge built surrounding the garden, warded with magics and preventing unauthorized entry. Easing its way over this hedge, a peculiar creature swaggered toward the garden.

It was furry, having the body of a brown dog, but its head was that of a cat's. Sharp claws grew from its feet, and a short tail swayed behind it. The creature was large, almost as large as some of the trees in the area, and sauntered forth with confidence and conviction, as well as great ease. It traversed the land as if it were in its own backyard... but that was because it was in its backyard.

This creature was the Gulon. Lord Gulon, the owner of the forest garden.

"What a great day for food! Foody, foody, food-food. Ah... Who exists in this realm that eats as well as I do? Ha! What a foolish question!"

Humming a merry tune, Lord Gulon bypassed some of the fruits and vegetables, having a clear image in its head of what it wanted to eat.

'Heehee! To think I'd be lucky enough to obtain a 100 Grand! It's from the 1964 era in the Human Realm as well, so its quality is assured! Good thing I was busy when Thing Thing found it, or else I'd have wasted the opportunity to savor such a rare find! All Thing Thing had to do was tell it some horseshit about being safe for all eternity and it was won over! Stupid thing!'

As Lord Gulon grew nearer and nearer, his ears perked up and starting twisting here and there. "Hm? Is that... NO!"

He took off, his steps silent. He kept on the path, avoiding the plants as he was used to doing. Before long, he saw the horrific sight.

Two humans had arrived, a woman and a boy. That same boy was eating his prized 100 Grand; he had already taken a bite of it!

100 Grand: "Ahh!! Ahh! My legs! My beautiful, meaty legs! No! No more!"

Ye Zuliao: "Mmm! Delicious! Haha! Where's that talk of rebellion? Weren't you going to rise against the human scum? Come on, then!"

Zhou Hua: "Let me have that half, Brother Zuliao. I'd like to have a taste of this 'caramel' thing."

Lord Gulon was mortified, his fangs flaring as he growled and dug his claws into the earth. With a powerful roar, he shook the garden and rushed toward them, uncaring of whether or not he trampled any plants in his way.

"Release that chocolate bar!"