CHAPTER 1: "High School Days"

"Pathetic hopeless romantic, I think that's the best thing I could describe myself for deeply loving someone secretly." -MissPluto237

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SMILE'S POV

"OH my gosh, Smile! Are you really going to continue? What if not?" Like a fool I said to myself. I was holding my pink envelope with a love letter in it. I plan to give it to Adrian this valentine's. This is my last year as a high school student and I hope that even this year, he will get to know me. Even now he doesn't knows my name. He never know I've liked him since elementary, since we first met at the playground.

He's a varsity player! He's a handsome boy with almost perfect life. He always caught my attention and his smile is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It was like the sunshine that shines through the window pane; like the light that lights the darkest and most stressful days of my high school life. Seeing a glimpse of his smile makes all those bad days into perfect moments.

There he is. He was coming out of the gym from his basketball practice and I was standing here at the exit.

Alas, Smile you can do that!

"Adrian!" I called him and he looked in my direction. He smiled. I could not move from where I was standing. It looks like all my saliva has dried up.

Cheerful, handsome and smart; I think he already has everything. Nobody's perfect but for me he is. His flaws make him wholly perfect in my eyes.

"Hey, why?" He asked when he get close to where I was standing. I hid the hand holding my letter for the person in front of me now. He was always this friendly.

I liked him for so long but I guess he doesn't even know my existence. He doesn't even know me; maybe he doesn't even know my name. I am just watching him and secretly loving him from afar.

"What ... Ahh ... because ..." I said nervously. All the courage I had gathered earlier seemed to disappear when I saw him face to face. Should I really confess now?

"Babe!" The sudden scream of a woman behind me turned me around. The next thing I saw was his lips on her lips! My eyes were fixed on the two of them.

Oh, shit! What a bad timing. I cussed in my head.

I can see his eyes as if those are twinkling as their lips parted.

"Hey, schoolmate. What are you going to say?" Adrian asked and they both looked at me. He seems to have forgotten that I was there when that woman came.

"Eh ... nothing. I just want to say ..." What can I say? Shall I still confess? For what? Stupidity!

"What's that?" He asked.

"I want to say .. aahh .. congrats. So you're together?" I stammered and smiled wryly. I did my best to stop my tears from falling in front of them.

"Yeah, finally! We were together since last week; by the way, thanks!" He said happily. Yes, he is happy and that made it even worse. I felt my chest tighten. It is like being squeezed and crushed. So, this is how to be broken hearted face-to-face. I haven't even said my name yet, I'm already basted.

"Ah. Ok bye." Then, at last, my body realized what to do, I wanted to run away. I don't know what to do. I just kept running until I reached the very back of the school canteen. There I let out all the pain and only the grass and flowers witnessed my first heart break.

Since that day, I have always noticed Adrian being happy with the one he loves. He smiled, a smile that he only showed to that woman. It hurts, really hurts!

How can I so desperately love someone who barely knows me?

I admit that seeing him with someone hurts me. However, I realize I should be happy for him, at least he is happy and that's enough for me. His smiles serve as my strength to accept that I am not the person for him. His smiles are enough to make me happy every day even if I'm not the reason behind those smiles.

After high school, I went to state to study and of course to move on as well. He wasn't able to read my letter and didn't even know my name.

I decided to stay away from him but after two years at state, that mind set changed.

I heard a news from him again, a news that torn my heart into pieces.

I want to be back, help him and bring back the old Adrian I once loved. Will I be able to do it? I just hope I don't regret doing this.