Who am I in this world? Am I deserving for my existence? Just this by; writing about me in this world for years ago.
It was I looking for what i am looking for. Things did not go as what i wanted to. Living into life i borrowed. I was me by then, i just lost it when I was teen. I started to look for things I don't have. Searching for those cannot be found. I am me years ago because I am innocent in things i supposed to know early. How it goes; I was me years ago as I let myself flew into wind; go with the flow; and blinded by reality.As things goes, I started to asked myself who i am in this cruel world. What is me in this world and who i might be in this world.
Looking for things i looked up to is the saddest yet determined thing for me. It's no good pretending but feels amazing.Thinking i might fall when I am right down my own heels. Wishing to climb far when i already reach the point. I felt wrong when I am absolutely right. It was me, but now is the best version of me. I stop searching for i am not connected. It is indeed disconnected. I did my best to pick up those tiny pieces of a broken glass. Teaching myself to fight against pain until it hurts naturally. I felt a strange feeling, i was hurting but i was not in pain. I was immunized by pain in such, i asked how to release but it was embroidered that even if i cut it out it will leave a beautiful yet messy traces. Did i just found my purpose.
Things has been asked. As i ended up talking about me and my difficulties. Talking about my insecurities. Talking about something i don't know. But here i am still asking for something i am. As for me in my existence and so, filling my personality, my heart and my soul that i am me in this world denying but accepting my role and job in life and so the world. Me in this world is someone who is looking for so many things. Me in this world, is not yet born. And me in this world is still up to something.