1 Chapter 1: Fading

The day it faded, Lillian Markus was at the café. She didn't feel it, just watched as the word faded into oblivion. She watched as the neat font and blue letters forming a name, Julia, disappeared from the world, along with Julia herself.

The day it faded, was just like any other—only it wasn't. It was torturous, the wondering, the heartache.

She cut her shift early and cried for hours. Grieved over a person she never knew.

She had planned their first date, she had planned it over and over in her head until it was virtually perfect. Lillian would wear a soft pink dress, white flats. They would go to the movies, see some chick flick, then have dinner. Julia would be wonderful, that's how Lillian pictured her.

But now she'd never know if she was right.

Of course, she knew some people lost their soulmates before their first meeting, but it was uncommon. And never in her life had she thought it would happen to her.

But it did.

And it left her empty. After the initial shock and wave of saddens wore off, she was angry. She was so angry. How could this happen? How could this happen to her? She didn't know if she believed in karma, but she'd never done anything too bad, definitely not enough to deserve this. Just sneaking out once, and even then it was to go to the library with Connor, her best friend.

For weeks, she sat, unmoving on her bed, unable to accept it, as if moving on would solidify the truth.If she did believe in karma, she had done one hell of a bad thing to merit this.

Lillian has never met Julia, but her whole body ached like she knew her all of their lives.

How could the death of an unknown person cause this much damage? How could it break her to the point of near self-destruction? Why did the death of an almost stranger do this to her?

Ultimately, she concluded, it came down to her own well-being. She didn't care what happened to a random person, no matter how selfish she sounded. In the end, it came down to her own heartbreak, and the fact that she would never have a soulmate.

She supposed this fact was the thing most keeping her from attempting to recover—her own selfishness.

It was inevitable, she would have to return to regular life eventually, that much she knew. But how she would do it, after this loss, she had no idea.

~

Julia felt her right leg go numb mid-step. She was reaching for a book on the top shelf when her right side dropped her to the floor with paralysis. When her head hit the bed post, her eyes went in and out of focus, blurring, then clearing again and again.

She opened her mouth to yell but only a soft whimper came out. Her mind went into panic, she didn't know what to do. Her mom had just left for the grocery store and probably wouldn't be back for an hour. Her dad was out of town on business.

Julia looked around her small room for something, anything that might help. She glanced at the floor, unnerved to see her body fading. Her hands, which were the only things showing skin that she could see, were paling, which made the yellow bubble letters of her soulmark even more vibrant.

Julia felt her body slowly flow upward, as if floating to the surface of water. She watched as the ground became farther away, leaving her body on the floor. She saw the blank stare in her own eyes and the lack of breathing, signifying death.

About nine inches off the ground, she stopped flying. She stood staring at her own corpse for longer than she wanted to, feeling sick.

She was dead. There was no denying it, the body on her floor was more than enough proof.

Not only was she dead, but she didn't even get the relief of eternal death, just another life, having to stick around and watch what she used to have, who she used to be, who she hurt.

She almost couldn't comprehend it. The life that she had made for seventeen years had disappeared in just a few seconds.

Hot tears cascaded down her cheeks. No one would ever see her again. She wouldn't get to say goodbye to her parents. She wouldn't get to say sorry. She would never meet her soulmate.

Her soulmate. She couldn't imagine what Lillian was going through right then. Somehow she'd make it up to her. She'd be there when Lillian needed it, she'd show her too. Somehow she would make Lillian feel better, if she need it.

Somehow she would make light of her own death.

Not knowing what to do, she laid next to her body. It felt like hours until her mother's voice rang through the house.

"Julia! I'm home!" Her voice was growing closer by the second. Julia wasn't sure she could handle watching her mother's pain. She pushed the bedroom door open. "I bought bananas and—"

Her mother stopped talking abruptly as she spotted her daughter's body. She let out an inhuman noise, running toward Julia.

"No no no no no." She pulled her phone from her back pocket, quickly dialing a number. She waited for a few seconds before saying, "My daughter is passed out in her room."

She answered a few more questions before hanging up. Her hands made their way to Julia's wrists, checking for a pulse. She closed her eyes.

"Baby...it's—it's going to be okay. The ambulance will get here and...and you'll be fine."

Julia felt more tears slip out at the state her mother was in. Despite knowing she would never be heard, she whispered, "Mom...I'm sorry. I'm not going to be fine."

As if she heard her, Julia's mom looked up. She stared straight through her form before shooting up and opening the door, letting two people wearing blue scrubs into the room.

They picked Julia's limp body and set it on a stretcher and rushed out of the room, her mother trailing behind.

Julia almost didn't follow. She didn't think she could. Seeing her mom so filled with false hope had been hard enough, and watching her reaction when she was revealed to be dead would be unbearable.

But she wanted to be there for her family, no matter the cost.

She walked out of her room and the house, barely catching the ambulance before it drove away, carrying her body, long dead