Chapter 1

I can't remember, how this hell started. Probably, when I was born. My world was destroyed. Each person, who I loved was used against me. I can't understand why he was calling me "Butterfly"... But after a few years... I understand why he was calling me "Buffy"...

When I was a kid someone told me that, seeing butterflies often means that something good will happen in my life... Something that will change my whole life. He told me another version of it too: "Person or people you loved and weren't able to say goodbye are letting you know that they are by your side."

I think that person forgot to mention what hardships the butterfly is going through to fly. But I can't say anything, because I wasn't able to understand it too. As if I was warned about possible dangers and changes. As if father knew what I have to go through...

No matter how hard does it have to be I won't forget my past nor live with it. I have dreams that can come true.

In my opinion, if person won't be on the verge of the death he or she is lying that one wants to live. He or she doesn't know the real price of life and doesn't know how special is it to feel your heartbeat and see the sunrise. I think they are afraid of the death and what will happen afterlife.

Every person is on the scales. It is moving to the right or to the wrong side by what our decisions and choices are.

In spite of my choice ,which was taken a long time ago, in my mind I had a thought that it was wrong. Today I am grateful for it. I am grateful for not giving up on life, on myself. I am still fighting for my dreams.

If I have not gone through this hell, I wouldn't be the person who am I today.

****

I was in so many gangs. I was in Canada, Brazil, Russia, Thailand, Japan, Venice and now I returned in New York. I was sent in so many wrong traces. That idiot told me the address and I ran away from the building. I was in each gang for two or three month to find out where was my brother or was he even alive. I could not find any traces of him. This was the last one and I would given up on finding him. I was going to the most terrifying district in the USA. Taxi driver stopped and looked on the back mirror.

-Miss I can't go any further. Do you really want to stop here? Should we go from this place? Its very dangerous place for everyone.

-Its okay Sir. I would stop here. Here is your money.

-Okay miss, but please be careful and take care. I am sorry for not stopping in the right place.

-Its nothing really. You can go Sir. Thank you for the ride.

I am standing in front of the enormous house. It has two floors and there are bodyguards everywhere. It is secured way too much. It will be hard to get there, not to mention getting out. They will catch me anyways. I don't have anything to lose and I don't have anyone except my brother, who I don't know whether is dead or alive. I just blinked and passed out. There caught me like I said. When I opened my eyes, there were so many people. I smiled, when I saw him. There he was. Noah Santorini with his gang members. He was so handsome, but his eyes was so dead, there were no light. But when his and my eyes met, there was spark of fire for a moment. He had dark black hair, grey eyes and a gaze, which can kill you. But I just smiled like before. Ooh... I forgot to say, I was on my knees. He just raised an eyebrow and smiled.

When he smiled I knew that I fucked up. That's why I was laughing.

-Who are you?

-Oh come on. You know who I am.

-Do you know who am I?

He had a mischievous smile on his face. He was looking out of the window. It was raining heavily. My smile dropped, when I heard a voice.

-Noah could you please stop playing and let her go.

-Sapha.

I heard a gasp and I looked away. I stared at the raindrops on the window. My heartbeat was increasing. When I heard my name, I closed my eyes. I was attacked by the memories of the past.

-Alisa...

She leaned to hug me, but I stopped her.

-Don't...

I said with my shaky voice and cut the sentence until I was going to cry.

-Take her in her room.

-I will take her.

Someone from his gang said and took my arm. He was quiet until we were in the room and he closed the door. He looked at me.

-My name is Jayden. You can call me Jay.

He smiled so brightly. I had a feeling a knew him.

-I don't need friends.

-Why are you lying? I have a question, can I ask you?

-No. Why won't you leave me alone?

-How you and Sapha met each other?

I froze. Should I tell him? Sapha will say the truth, so what the point of saying I don't know her.

-I met her five years ago. Now leave me alone.

-Where is please?

I pushed him to the doors and then locked it. He laughed at me and then it was silent for some minutes. I felt pain. I forgot that my back was badly injured, because of that jerk. I went to the bathroom and turned the hot water. My shirt was glued on my torn back. I had no other choice only pull the shirt. I did it. I felt a horrible pain, tears fell down from my eyes and went on my cheeks. I cleared the wounds as I could and bandaged myself. I took pajamas, which was in the wardrobe and went to bed.

***

-Alisa! Ali wake up!

-Alex get of me or I will make your day as awful as it was with her.

-Okay, stop bluffing and get up. Its getting dark.

We were playing in the fields for an hour and then went home. We were stealing donuts from Betty like as always. I was talking with Betty and he was stealing it. When he finished, we ran away. Our father met us upstairs. He was our teammate so he helped us. We went on the third floor. He was telling me some stories, when mum called us. Alex was going to open the door, when we heard a gunshot. We ran down and saw our parents in the pool of blood. The cold metal was on Betty's head now.

-Run now!

She screamed and their was another gunshot. I hiccupped, my mind was on hell fire and I can't realized what was happening. Alex was just dragging my body. Then he stopped and hugged me. My head was tucked in his chest. I was screaming out of fear. They made us to kneel.

-Alex I am scared.

I was shaking and my body was cold as ice. He wiped my tears away and hugged me again.

-Close your eyes and sing our song in your mind.

-Alex...

I was choking on my tears. Why this hell is happening?

-Please Al... Love you Little...

I saw his smile, but I felt a horrible pain when I saw my brother crying. He just closed his eyes like he was in horrible pain. I closed my eyes and started to sing our song. As I was singing the voices where being more and more silent. I heard a slightly bang and then I felt something cold on my forehead. I screamed loudly.

Its dark in the room. Someone is hugging and comforting me, but I can't stop crying. But then I hear something, that's comforts me.

-I am here Buffy. It was a nightmare. I am not leaving you... Now sleep Buffy...

I feel safe in his arms and then I am falling asleep.