The Konoha 12
Naruto awoke in a pile of limbs in his hotel room, his brain rebooted and he instantly jumped to whether he got lucky last night. Firstly he was in his boxers, secondly the women surrounding him were the queens of Konoha all decked out in lingerie. There were slashes of lipstick down his torso, not kiss marks but slashes. So someone used their make up as a sharpie.
Sniffing the air highlighted the alcohol stench coming off everyone in the room. He recalled getting tipsy and dragging Anko back to the delegation room cause he didn't know what dump Konoha assigned them. The other girls tagged along to continue celebrating the reunion.
The other ninja following Anko assumed the girls were gathering intel for the village. They assumed wrong as Anko talked them into trying my brewing and cooking skills that evolved over the world tour. In his first life he was a butcher but sometimes He struggled with chakra beasts sometimes.
Later he started making candy to snack on, Killua's sweet tooth began manifesting the same time puberty kicked in for me. Then he started fermenting the candy in the spirits he brewed. The women in the snake squad loved it.
Getting back to the hotel led to him frying an inordinate amount of meat. He thinks he high speed barbecued three whole pigs using lighting and moisture manipulation.
Then Hana said take a shot if you love your bite, after that Junko and Shura came in and joined the rest of us. Junko turned into a sobbing drunk, Shura starting being flirty, Hana got cuddly, Kurenai kept giggling, yugao started hiccuping and eating a lot of food. Anko remained the same but developed a healthy flush on her face.
Shura and Hana corralled everyone to bed and ripped clothes off before starting a dog pile.
*squeeze* Naruto looked and saw someone taking liberties with his ass cheek. He looked at Hana who was mumbling about firmness before he had enough and have everyone a static shock. Several yelps echoed out and everyone sat up.
Kurenai looked at the clock "fuck I've a team meeting!" Before she grabbed her clothes and redressed before dashing off. Hana cradled her ears while Yugao stumbled over to the bathroom.
Anko glared at Naruto "you dick! The exam starts in three hours. Sigh~ get showered then cook us breakfast." She ordered before rolling to her feet and showcasing her mesh panties. The sage training certainly inflated the right areas. They have become a thong on her compared to two years ago.
When the ninja flushed the booze from their system Naruto cooked up some eggs. Hana and Yugao joined them and started spilling the beans about the local shinobi taking part in the exam. Naruto was well aware but wanted to know what's changed.
{three hours later- Kiba Inuzuka POV}.
My name is Kiba Inuzuka, the male heir of the Inuzuka clan. We specialise in taijutsu, tracking, animal breeding and too a lesser degree healing. I was raised by the clan matriarch Tsume Inuzuka who defeated her father for the title. She raised me to be a survivor, cause in her own words "the world is a death trap, I'll be fucked if my kids die from anything besides old age!"
This meant early training from the age of six, when the academy started I was in the third year of the curriculum. I would have been further but the family techniques took precedence. Better to learn them now than try and cram them when I'm under a Jonin sensei.
When I was little I got a bit of an ego when I saw how far ahead of the curve I was compared to my peers. I let the alpha male talk off my clansmen cloud my judgement and was mouthy. Got punished for that real quick.
Iruka and Mizuki sensei decided that spars should include ninjutsu and genjutsu one day. I got beat by not one, not two, not three but by FOUR of my classmates!
Sasuke Uchiha tied me down with shuriken and ninja wires before laying into me like I was a punching bag.
Shino Aburame sent a sound based genjutsu that informed me what exactly his bugs could do to me if they sensed the man beast transformation.
Yakumo Kurama showed me visions of my own death in a dozen different ways. Each incredibly graphic and well above my chakra control level to dispel.
Lastly Hinata Hyuuga, the demure demi goddess of the Hyuuga clan or so I thought at the time. She didn't appreciate my comments about Alpha males and the roles of females so she taught me MY place in her eyes. Sasuke's punches hurt, Shino left a few little bug bites, Yakumo made me feel like I was gonna die. Hinata combined all three.
After the beat down she gave me I kept my head down in class and trained far harder at home than I did before. My sister taught me control exercises that she developed with some off her friends for some kid she didn't wanna elaborate on. My mom furthered my training on the solo Inuzuka arts. My aunties and uncles tutored me on all necessary subjects to the chunin level. Lastly my gramps brought me my partner Akamaru from the Kennel.
So rather than goof off in the academy I chose to bond with Akamaru during class times and sharpen my skills. No one noticed except for Hinata and Shikamaru. The former just snorted like she was confirming that I was on the right path while the latter took a long look at myself.
After that I became more observant off the people around me and later the village. My classmates were mostly subpar with a few outliers. The ones who stood out were either loud and from big backgrounds or quiet and set my instincts on edge.
The village became more jaded as time progressed, the villagers were mouthy assholes like I once was. The ninja grumpy and irritable in temperament. The clan meetings that mom made me attend showed me the underbelly of Konoha. The clans hate each other at varying levels, the villagers hate the ninja and vice verse, the upper management were extremely shady, even in the clan certain people hated each other's guts.
The number one hates person however was "the demon brat". I had no clue who that was as I'd never met anyone off that description. Some drunk ninja talked about it and Akamaru overheard. A kid escaped the village after seducing one of the sexiest girls in the village and went on a joyride around the elemental nations before joining Kumo and becoming some super operative under their tutelage.
The old me would have gnashed my teeth about a traitor or be jealous that he got a babe. That was how I was taught to think, the new me wondered why this kid was getting a rep on the level of Orochimaru.
Once graduation came around I learned exactly why, Team 8 with Kurenai Yūhi as the leader. Me, Shino, Yakumo and Hinata on one team. A four man squad is a little shocking but I'd rather that than be put on Sasuke's team. He got that really loud kid Haruto that no one knows where he came from. Some civilian family that wanted their kid to be a ninja for prestige or something.
First day we had under our sensei we had a test, had to find our sensei in a training ground. My and Akamaru's tracking skills mixed well with Hinata and Shino's. Yakumo however proved invaluable in discerning genjutsu traps that were planted like land mines.
We found sensei building a sand castle of all things at a river bank. She used earth chakra to make fine sand and make a miniature Daimyo castle. Reminded me of one I saw at the park once before some fat kid wrecked it. She was even drinking tea admiring her work.
Old me would have been slack jawed but new me analyses quietly. Advanced chakra control in several areas; that genjutsu was well beyond what his sister was capable off, the earth control was as good as his sisters however, the tea is hot so she either cooked it here somehow or had some sealed.
My teammates stated as such when she asked us what we learned. When she asked me what I learned I said "your dangerous, your like my sister, I have a lot to learn from you." She smiled whilst the others eyes me differently than they did in school. Akamaru barked and head butted the sand castle knocking it down. Sensei flicked sand in his snout and sent him into a sneezing fit.
After class I heard Hinata ask sensei about some dude called Naruto. Hinata elaborated that she knew the dude and several older women knew each other closely. She wondered if Naruto or someone called Anko messaged her. She wanted to know more about Naruto. Sensei obliged and I got another humbling in regard to my place on the pecking order. A kid who was the same age as him could do stuff like that was shunned by the village so he dipped. Made me worry about what would happen if he came back.
Now I'm standing in our old school during the chunin exams. Shino and me were wearing the same outfit as usual. Yakumo was wearing a shinobi quality kimono that concealed some useful tools that compliment her skill set. Hinata however was wearing a new lilac hoodie, some new shorts that were very tight on her and two twin swords at her sides. She was glaring around as if looking for someone. She'd never shown that reaction before so I asked her about it, we'd been teammates for a while so that afforded me a certain amount of informality that wouldn't get me decked in the face.
"What's got you so on edge?" Kiba asked making the other two look to Hinata hiding their expectations. They noticed the same as him but lacked his social skills.
"Naruto-kun has returned to the village. I'm excited to meet him again." Hinata stated.
"Why?" Yakumo asked curios herself.
"He made me into the woman I am today!" She stated proudly puffing her chest lightly.
"A killing machine?" Shino asked bluntly, i almost laughed aloud.
Hinata however nodded "yes actually, he taught me to be forward and I copied his training to condition myself. Well most of what I could, I heard he used swords so I learned some myself. I heard he learned a lot of shinobi arts so I asked Kurenai sensei to teach me them as well."
This time I went slack jawed "you copied him?! Wasn't he six or seven at the time? Copying him put you at your current level?" I asked abruptly. She nodded with a smile that would have took a persons breath away.
"Who did she copy?" Asked a voice from behind them in an annoyed tone. The team turned and saw team 7 and 10. Rather than answer I gawked at Sasuke's outfit. He's wearing all black, has a damn choker on and is wearing eye liner on. Yep definitely not mentally sane.
Sakura is drooling looking at him and Haruto is glaring while wearing some awful orange jumpsuit that hurts their eyes.
Shikamaru and Choji look more or less the same with a bit of bulking in the arms and chest. Ino however is staring at Sasuke, that Yamanka mental evaluation training kicking. "Sasuke-kun you look amazing!!" Never mind….
"Hn! Oi Hyuuga who taught you? It wasn't a clan member so who was it!" Sasuke demandes in a brattish manner.
Hinata scowled "it's rude to eavesdrop Uchiha. Wouldn't matter if I told you anyway, you wouldn't stand a chance."
Before Sasuke could bite back Haruto the loudmouth interjected "wouldn't happen to be Naruto Uzumaki would it!? The traitor?!" He asked loudly.
If looks could kill Haruto would be dead, Hinata looks like she's going to mount him on her swords. Before things could devolve the doors swung open and another team entered. My spine tingled and Akamaru whimpered slightly.
A bluenette in a heavy dark blue coat who was staring at the middle guy. A girl? In a grey hoodie who was sipping coffee from a plastic container with her face and hair obscured. The middle guy in a big coat with shining white hair and some tape on his cheek.
Hinata walked forward slightly with another smile on her face staring at the middle guy. Said guy walked over to the redhead in the corner who gave him another tingle in the spine that signalled lethal danger.
"Yo Gaara you look twigged out!" He said with a smile. What? Kiba questioned internally.
{pov returned}.
The three man snake squad walked in and spotted the sand duo in a corner. Naruto led them over and looked at Gaara. He looked way more relaxed than last time but he was twitching a little bit. The make up wearing one looked like he didn't believe his brother was real. The girl however looked at him with a slightly grateful look but like she wasn't gonna say anything about it in public.
"Yo Gaara you look twigged out! I take it you liked the coffee?"
The red head swerved his gaze from a flask he had cradled in his hands to Naruto. In a less raspy voice he spoke "Naruto Uzumaki, it's…. Nice to see you. I did like the coffee. Mother approves of it. What is twigged out?"
Kankuro can't believe his senses, Gaara thanked someone. WTF?!!?!
"Your welcome Gaara, us containers gotta stick together. Anyway twigged out means your basically pumped to much caffeine in your system at once so you need to ride it out for abit."
Gaara glared "no more coffee?" And leaked his killing intent at Naruto.
Naruto however laughed "nah just switch to Decaf until the symptoms fade."
Gaara looked a little more animated, like he was excited to learn more. "Decaf?"
"Yeah it's coffee without caffeine. Doesn't give the same energy boost but some people drink it so they can get the same taste of coffee without the shakes y'know". Naruto elaborates
Gaara just mumbles "For the taste, taste is good, no more shakes and can keep drinking." Gaara spun to his sister. "Temari can we get this Decaf please?"
She smiled happily "sure thing Gaara, as soon as the exams are done I'll get a few bags. When we get home I'll take a barista course and learn to make better coffee."
"Thank you sister, I would like that. Let's finish this exam quickly" Gaara said with a manic smile. Temari thought it was adorable though, Kankuro just kept looking between all speaking parties in shock. He has to be on some hallucinogen.
As the group was about to continue they heard a loud and obnoxious "Tell me about Rock lee, Gaara of the sand and Naruto Uzumaki!"
Everyone in the hall turned to see some Emo duck guy asking some nerd holding some sticks about the competition.
Shura nudged them "what's up with piercing princess over there?" Making the Kumo nin laugh.
Naruto spoke "that's Sasuke Uchiha, survivor of the uchiha clan that the leaf allowed to be exterminated. Didn't think he owned hot topic though."
Kabuto meanwhile recited Lee and Gaara's stats shocking the room. Then he swallowed nervously and read Naruto's.
"Former leaf resident Naruto Uzumaki, member of the scattered and declining Uzumaki clan. Abandoned Konoha after seducing the former Sannin Orochimaru's apprentice Mitarashi Anko.
They left the land of fire and went on a killing spree through the elemental nations. He started with a B-rank bounty due to his skill in various shinobi arts. After their tour they joined Kumogakure where he joined the snake squad.
A group composed off Orochimaru's failures and Uzumaki remnants. They were sent on the most dangerous missions and accomplished them with ease. Mission total unknown but presumed to have completed several S-ranks and is known as the author of several stories such as Hunter X Hunter.
His skills show a level of lightning control that surpasses the Raikage along with titanic reserves. He has kenjutsu skills that can match the best of Tetsukuni. His wind and water control are noted to be almost as good as his lightning. Has been noted to possess similar skills to snake summoners. Has created his own taijutsu and kenjutsu styles. Is a level 10+ fuinjutsu practitioner and a licensed iryonin.
Strongest technique is noted as lightning style- godspeed which surpasses the yellow flash in speed as decreed by Onoki the third Tsuchikage."
The room was dead silent as everyone stared at Naruto who was picking his nose. He flicked a booger away before he shouted "the Uzumaki clan isn't declining. Your information is way off buddy."
That's what was wrong to you?!?! Most people thought. Some assumed that it was all fake, the sensors scanned him but picked up nothing. Then they got alarmed when they picked up nothing?! Shura leaned her head back and laughed.
Sasuke scowled and marched towards Naruto and demanded "How did you get so strong traitor!" Naruto just stared past him at Haruto who stared at him smugly. The fuck is that about? Naruto thought. Why is a shittier off brand of the OG standing there looking like he's happy to be near the Uchiha.
Naruto then zoned back in and answered calmly "uh push-ups, sit-ups, callisthenics, plenty of juice, your mom offered me a few tips here and there. Helped me out lots." Then he patted Sasuke who was gonna have a meltdown before stepping past him.
"Hinata Hyuuga is that you? You look fantastic! Love the swords, and that lilac colour on your hoodie really suits you" he said with a friendly grin.
Hinata just fidgeted and replied meeker than any of her year mates had ever seen her. "Hey Naruto-kun long time no see. Thanks for the compliments. You look amazing as well." She then tucked some strands of hair behind her ear.
The girls in the room gawked, that tigress is so tame?! Ino and Sakura had visions of her threatening to beat them to death. Tenten just pointed at her then at Neji "that's the demon you fear?! She's just a normal girl."
Neji however was paler than he'd ever been, he stared at Naruto. This was the source, the reason the clans ojou-sama turned into a sadistic hellion who beat the elders half to death and empowered all the clans women to eight trigram their husbands balls next time they say something misogynistic.
Lee burned with the need to challenge everyone in the room. Team 8 looked the same as Kankuro earlier.
Suddenly the bluenette wrapped her arms around Naruto and dragged him into her busom "Naruto-sama who is this. You shouldn't associate with such a temptress. Come! Junko shall cleanse you."
The room became much colder as Hinata snarled "temptress?! who are you?! Don't touch Naruto-kun like that!" She then grabbed Naruto and pulled him towards her. The two women began a tug of war.
*munch munch* *slurp* Naruto, Gaara and Shura stood their snacking and drinking away at the show.
"Wow what a show, really takes your nerves off the stress of the exams huh Naruto?" said Shura
Naruto nodded "certainly so, more popcorn?" He offered her opening another packet. Gaara just slurped down his freshly filled flask of coffee.
The two girls looked at them then back to Naruto who grinned and poofed. In his place someone landed and stood up. "Alright quite down you brats?!? It's time for the exams to begin!"