7 Killers guide to travelling

Disappearing into the night we decided to head towards Redaku which is north of the leaf village. Turns out they really adore kakashi there, so I decided to tell some of the local stories about him to their village. That gained me a place to stay for a few days. When we were leaving I chose to inform them off his sexual escapades/ youthful competitions with Guy.

Hot water is north east of leaf village and Redaku so we headed over that way next. Anko trained me in her T&I stuff when we captured one of the local ninja. I had greatly underestimated the hot water information network. They even had a mole in Jiraiya's brothel network so they learned about the Akatsuki and profiled each member. Stores that away for later use, after testing out their baths I scored some water and fire jutsu for the both of us before we headed to the land of flowers.

We had to take a cruise to the paradise isles so we could reach the land of flowers. On the cruise I got to watch Anko model her Bikini collection that she gathered from the Konoha civilian women. Mebuki Haruno has some saucy underwear~. During the boat ride I reviewed the data on Kumo that they had.

They have a missing nin program that allows unique ninja to join relatively Scott free. The blood samples are collect and analysed to see if the kekkei genkai are inherent or not. I began developing some seals that will cleanse our blood should it leave our bodies. I'm not getting bloody cloned!

Kumo itself is a militaristic village that A runs with an iron fist. He reviews the department heads himself so as to prevent a Danzo situation. The only bad department head I found was T, he would blackmail several new recruits into a one night stand. He was caught by an Uzumaki woman who chained him up and smashed him around the interview room. A had him made into a eunuch for his crimes.

Bloodlines have been sprinting towards Kumo because of their open acceptance policy. Iwa makes suicide bombers, kiri kills them, Konoha brainwashes them and Suna can't facilitate them is the general consensus among those who joined. From the documents I read it seems that this strategy was devised by Killer B. He made it to attract some jinchuriki who are being mistreated. The fact that Yugito stayed is proof it works.

Hmm, if i encounter Fuu maybe I should invite her after I perform my own inspection into Kumo's operations. They do submit and communicate with their daimyo in a much better manner than the other countries according to the reports. Whose to say some lightning noble won't take a fancy to me or Anko and try and bulldoze it.

After reaching the land of flowers I trained for a while whilst Anko gathered some poisonous flowers scattered throughout the island. We stayed for three weeks to appreciate the land before leaving on another boat. We passed through the land of water to get a boat towards the land of tea. I spend the time reading some scrolls and books we collected along the way. Anko had Icha Icha so I read that, she was happy to indoctrinate me into the glories of sex early. It's a decent read to be honest but I'd prefer the Dresden files.

From tea we got a boat to the land of rivers which we then proceeded to head north through the land of storms into the land of fields so we could go to the hidden grass village. I was excited to meet/ rescue Karin but was met with a bold fact. Both Karin and her mother Riza Uzumaki abandoned the village and fled after being abused by the local ninja.

I was pissed about that but there wasn't much I could do as they had left a year and a half prior to our arrival. To long a point to track a ninja, they could have hidden in a normal village, found another hidden village to shoulder them or just found a clan outpost of the uzumaki clan scattered in the elemental nations.

Our next course of action was to head towards the land of iron so I could develop my kenjutsu styles. I had trained in the Zoldyck style but it wasn't designed for war, eventually I found the uzumaki downpour style among my mothers notes but this style was designed for women of the clan so I couldn't use it fully. I tried combining the two and have been met with mixed results thus my need to go to Iron.

Luckily several of our other objectives were along the way. First we passed through storm, stones and birds to arrive in the lands of vegetables and noodles. From their it was just a blur of food between the two of us. Ninja burn off absurd amounts of calories but we define you exceed the normal ninja. I'm an uzumaki jinchuriki and Anko is a curse mark user so we both need vast amounts of food. We felt like Homer Simpson when he visited New Orleans.

After our food binge we went to the land of honey to sample their delectable sweets. Anko pushed for us to visit there so we could settle the debate on which food is better. Dango or Ramen! Cliche as it is my body cannot resist debating Anko about the topic. It was also a fun way to pass the time on long journeys, no wonder Obito chose to annoy Deidara so much.

We where stuck between going to the land of the samurai or pursuing Anko's objectives. Seeing as they were the closest we decided to venture towards the land of swamps to gather more poisonous material for Anko. My poison resistance was forced to skyrocket because the bitch thought it would be funny to poison my rations. I felt like I had just invested chipotle mixed with laxatives. Really appreciate the foxes healing factor repairing my ass so much.

Following the land of swamps we went to the howling wolf village to find the land of medicine. It was located near the land of valleys so we got their easy enough. I loved the hardcore rock climbing we had to do, Anko elected to summon a large snake and have it carry her up the rocky paths.

We arrived in medicine and managed to gather some rare herbs that boost physiques along with some better fuinjutsu materials. We also got some private check ups from the local medical nin. They were shocked at the results from the both of us, medical marvels they called us. We decided to dip when some off the older ones looked like they wanted to dissect us.

Instead of going through the land of mountains we backtracked into the land of swamps to improve Anko's poisons based on her findings in the land of medicine. After that we ventured through the land of volcanoes and stayed for abit to train in ash village. The volcanic hot springs there could give the ones in the land of hot water a run for their money. Anko certainly approved based on how she was feeling up her skin. Further north of the land of volcano landed us in the Land of haze, this place was north of the land of silence which is near the land of iron.

Anko got to improve her genjutsu skills once we found the village and traded some of my fuinjutsu tags with them in exchange for genjutsu. I was the unwilling test subject, I was tossed into the hallucinogenic mists surrounding the village and Anko let loose with her new toys.

Because of my vast chakra network it's difficult to entrap me in lower level genjutsu without burning out your reserves. Anko had a controlled curse mark to work with after I had spent the better part of 8 months tweaking the damn thing. No transformations bar some spiral black tattoos that spread down her back. The previous design looked like wriggling maggots so I needed to fix that.

I'm 70% sure jiraiya could have removed the seal but chose not to in order to keep Anko loyal to the village. The yamanaka 'therapy' sessions she mentioned were a tip off. If they rummaged in her head without the ability to nullify the seal it would have went off and sent her into a berserker rage. Purging the pedomaru horcrux was much easier than I'd expected.

Just needed to transfer the soul shard into a chakra conductive material. Anko just happened to have a chakra metal buttplug ready to go. One hike in the woods later and Orochimaru's soul shard was firmly planted in a bear's ass.

Anko kisses the loving shit out of me before biting my shoulder. She injected aphrodisiac into me which I was only barely immune too. She said that she had "claimed" me as her mate inuzuka style. She was a lot clingier after that, not that I minded with those blessed balloons pushing into my back every chance she had.

After her genjutsu training was accomplished we headed to the land of Iron. I went to the capital of the country known as the blood forge, basically it was a collection off dojo's pertaining to different weapon styles. Samurai chakra methods differed greatly from ninja ones as they only practice chakra control so they can transfer their chakra into a metal blade.

Only a select few trained their elements and they were no where near as developed as my own. Thank god Anko brought her car battery torture device. I'd been using that to build up my electrical immunity then upgrading it every so often.

I started Dojo crashing to improve my style by pinching similar or useful techniques from the different schools. I knew I had to leave when the local samurai under Mifune started asking around for me. Their visors on their helmets can see through henge but I'm not sure whether it worked with my solid transformation. Didn't want to find out.

I decided it was time to leave to we went through the land of bears checking up on the one that held Orochimaru. I'd enscribed seals on the plug so that it would reattach every time the bear did it's business meaning that soul fragment was soaked in bear shit for a long time. Not sure if it's conscious but I hope it is~.

After leaving bears we hijacked a fishing boat and aimed for the land of snow. Their chakra armour is useless to me as I'd seen the samurai equivalent in the land of iron. My need to go snow boarding however could not be satisfied elsewhere. We visited the rainbow glaciers and then went to the tallest peaks in the mountain range.

Anko actually trembled seeing how steep the cliff was that I'd happily launched off of. I hummed songs from the sonic series on my trip down. Anko screamed and caused an avalanche on hers. Thankfully she trained her fire release in the land of volcanoes so she melted her way back to the surface. Just as she thought she was safe I snowballed her right in the tit.

That was a bad idea on my part as she chased after me with an unholy vengeance. I bought her off with hot coco so she would spare my life. After I nearly died via Snake beat down we decided to finally go towards Kumo. We got a boat from the land of snows harbour towards the land of Lightning's capital.

I have no idea what's awaiting us there.