1 The Worst Kind of Demons

Actually, I'm not a monster. But this girl seems to be very confused. No. Actually, this girl is confidently certain that she has just summoned an 'I win' card via this ridiculous ritual.

"Ku ku ku, so I have succeeded. Of course I was never in doubt. I'm the most gifted Magi student in the academy after all"

I wasn't sure what to say, but I certainly wasn't comfortable kneeling down naked in the centre of what seems to be some kind of a summoning magic circle drawn on the ground, just like the ones I have seen so many times in animes. As far as tropes go, this was as expected, except I didn't quite die to a truck-kun or bus-san. In fact, it was a suicide. I jumped off a bridge - with a noose around my neck, just to be sure. On second thought, it could have been a truck-kun after all. Who knows if the rope broke and I fell and hit a truck driving under the bridge. It was such a painful experience to get my neck snapped violently that it felt like I've been hit by a truck or something anyway.

There was no after life, or a little chit-chat with some kind of a goddess. Just as I thought to myself I 'died' I felt like I got sucked away as if somebody put a massive vacuum cleaner over my body, as if to remove this speck of dust from the face of the earth forever. After seeing this girl gloat and boast about her 'feat' of summoning me things started to click. My express flight to the hell was hijacked and I ended up here, summoned as some kind of a monster.

"State your name. I grant you the permission to speak"

"Er… my name is Faro. Who are you?"

"Faro… Faro… I don't recall such a name from any legend. Fu fu fu, I see. You are concealing your name until I prove my strength as a Magi?"

"Not qui-"

:BOOM:

Argggggghh, fuck! This bitch has just thrown a massive ball of fire at me and my naked flesh was set on fire - damn I gotta put this fire out ASAP before I get seriously burnt, water - I need water like right now.

Then inexplicably, I have spewed out gallons of water from my mouth - how the hell..?

"Woooh, nice. Interesting skill. Then how about this?"

With that, this wizard girl picked up a long sword laying on the ground in front of her feet, muttered some unintelligible words and threw it at me. The sword flew at incredible speed and set flames in the air it pierced on its course to me - fuck, I have to block this.

Again, inexplicably, I puked out an aluminum baseball bat, instinctively grabbed it and swung it at full force to parry the sword away. The flaming sword then did a 180 turn mid-air and flew straight back at the girl and she panic dodged the weapon to escape from a certain death.

"What the heck..? Never mind, I will test you once more"

This time the girl picked up a glass jar on the ground on her left side, swung it around to throw its content to my direction and literally spit fire out of her mouth, setting the liquid on fire midair.

Shit. This must be oil - I don't know how I did it before, but using water would be a bad idea, what do I need here now - oh, right.

Just as I thought about what I needed, a fire extinguisher popped out of my mouth so I quickly grabbed it and sprayed its powdery content to the fire racing towards me.

"Ex…excellent - you really are a special demon!"

Who are you calling a demon after throwing fire at a defenceless naked man..

"Is this some summoning magic you are using? But that's some strange objects you've managed to summon there. I have never seen that bludgeon or powder spitting equipment before. I wonder if they are some relics from the Age of Demons"

Right. Let's set things straight.

"Yo girl, I don't know what you are talking about, but I'm a human. Seriously, I'm just a normal guy"

"Yes! I knew it! You are a Human - the most wicked demon kind that has ever disgraced the earth!"

Whoa, but she does have a point there.

"Ok. I don't think we can sort this out by a quick chat here. Please, give me something to wear at least for god's sake"

"Speaking of the Almighty so casually, fufu, you are a fearless demon indeed"

"Whatever. Cloths. Please"

"You can summon your own armor. I'd like to see how a demon armor looks"

Gees. As bizarre as it sounds I seem to have power to summon things. But I don't want 'armor'. Those things must be medievally heavy and taxing to wear around, so what the hell, I just summoned a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"Er - hold it there demon. You must be confident in your strength, but blue is the colour of the Emperor. You will be drawing fights and persecution wherever we go. Even if you could defeat anything in our way, that's going to be too troublesome. Get some different colour, like red, yeah get red to match the colour of your new Mistress, fu fu"

For god - I mean fuck's sake. Red jeans it is then.

:Ding!:

Misunderstanding +1

Fashion taste -1