5 Chapter 5: Sectumsempra

Severus began to remember his first year at Hogwarts when the seventh-year prefect Lucius Malfoy had taken him, Severus Snape, a half-blood, under his wing, granting the young potions prodigy the protection of Malfoy House.

At the time Severus had been flattered and grateful, as his cold, dark and perceptive personality used to make him a lonely, unpleasant and friendless person.

But he was recognized by someone in his house and this someone was from a powerful family in the British magical world.

From that day was that Snape discovered and became more interested in the Dark Arts.

It was partly because Lucius had begun to instruct him in the same and when Malfoy discovered the great potential of Severus not only supported him to continue practicing constantly.

But he lent him a huge amount of books of the Malfoy family that dealt with many types of dark arts and that was how Snape's own curiosity led him to become more and more interested in the Dark Arts with each new spell he learned.

It was such the ease with which he acquired knowledge of this subject and the speed with which he implemented it, Lucius Malfoy echoed this with all the Slytherins earning Severus Snape a good reputation among his peers for being an unparalleled prodigy in the Dark Arts, such was the recognition he gained for his achievements in the Dark Arts that Snape felt himself enjoying for the first time in his life the surprised looks of his housemates.

All his life Severus had sought to be recognized for his achievements, abilities, his unparalleled mind and at that moment it was through the Dark Arts that he achieved it, they fed his ego and reinforced his belief that he controlled the darkness and not the other way around.

He didn't care how worried Lily was about this, he couldn't pass up such an opportunity to be recognized and respected, so he dismissed his best friend Lily's concerns as unfounded by the idiots in Gryffindor.

It was only in his fourth year that young Severus Snape created his darkest curse, Sectumsempra, a cutting spell to be used against his enemies.

He had developed it in a fit of rage against the Marauders after a total humiliation he had suffered in front of the entire school.

When he determined that he had the spell and the correct wand movements, Severus had gone to a secluded spot in the forbidden forest adjacent to the school grounds.

He found a large tree in the middle of the forest, then made sure there was no one else in the immediate vicinity, Severus concentrated on his intent, repeated the set and movements several times; then allowed his simmering anger to reach its boiling point in his quest for revenge against the marauders and the humiliation they had put him through and when he could finally visualize his tormentors at the mercy of his wand, Severus called upon his magic and the curse was released.

"Sectumsempra!" Severus had shouted, as he slashed his wand into a Z-formation. He felt his magic burst into a fury from his core and flow violently through his wand, fighting against his control like a raging river struggling to overflow its banks.

He watched as the tree began to topple over, cutting clean through where the spell had struck it. Severus imagined James Potter and Sirius Black at the end of the spell and immediately felt his lunch in the back of his throat, he struggled to keep from regurgitating the contents of his stomach, breathing through his nose for several minutes.

When his stomach finally calmed, he approached the tree stump cautiously and studied the path of destruction left by his spell. He touched the jagged splinters left on the surface of the tree stump with trembling fingers.

"If I had used this against any of the marauders or anyone else...'" He swallowed saliva at the thought of the outcome.

"Even if I hate Potter, Black, and his friends, I really wish they would die...could I kill them...was Lily right about her concerns regarding the Dark Arts, were the Gryffindors right about me, could I really become a killer, is that how I want to use my magic, to kill and torture people, maybe Lily was right...? The Dark Arts are a slippery slope, and I'm in danger of going down a very dark path if I don't stop now...but if it's in self-defense it would be okay, wouldn't it, if it's to defend the one I love it would be okay, yes, I would do anything to defend Lily!, the Dark Arts are indeed dangerous, but if my intentions and actions are for the greater good I will never regret using them."

In the end, Severus knew that studying the Dark Arts could corrupt him, but as long as he stood firm in his desires and feelings, he knew or believed that he could use them without them succeeding in trapping him completely on the dark side, he was stronger than that.

He firmly believed that if he was successful in his defense against the Dark Arts, then he needed to know and study the Dark Arts to effectively counter them, however.

He also knew that he still had years of study and advancement in his own knowledge of magic to go before it would be safe for him to proceed fully into the Darkest Arts.

So, he began to set aside experimentation with this area of study until he was older and more experienced, he couldn't take chances, he had to be smart and remember his priorities, the Darkest Arts were just a useful resource to accomplish his goals, nothing more.

And although his obvious brilliance in the Dark Arts had won him friends like Lucius Malfoy or his classmates Rosier, Mulciber, and Avery, along with the recognition of his house, he always had to remember that his only, true, and most important purpose in life was to be a great wizard to be with Lily Evans and make her happy.

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Now, Severus understood that Lucius Malfoy's friendship along with his teachings in the Dark Arts had been in part a ploy to groom him into the ranks of the Dark Lord, he had wanted so much to be recognized for his achievements that he had enjoyed the praise and teachings of the older Slytherin, dismissing the concerns of his friend Lily Evans as unfounded and becoming almost lost in the darkness as he failed to remember his goals.

But Severus could also honestly admit that his friendship with Lucius Malfoy was true.

Even though it had been partly a plan to prepare him as a future Death Eater, that was more on Lucius' father's side.

The two of them always maintained a friendly and cordial relationship, Lucius helped him a lot in all these years, more than anyone else, so Severus could not stop considering him a friend now, no matter if his ideals were now different or if he almost led him astray.

After all it was his own interest and curiosity in the Dark Arts that had begun to lead him down a twisted and dangerous path of self-delusion, each new spell he learned fed into his ego and reinforced his belief that he was the one who controlled the darkness and not the other way around.

It wasn't all Lucius' fault, he was ignorant of these things as his family are purebloods and know how to handle his mental state or how far to go in most cases, so he won't have even considered the consequences they would have on Severus, at first he did it thinking he was helping him and at the same time gaining the favor of a very capable future wizard, so it was a win win, something Severus could understand, he was a Slytherin after all.

"Mmmm... Well, as to define, I'm currently very much on track to be part of Death Eaters followers, to the point where I'm pretty sure that once I start my sixth year at Hogwarts I'm likely to be formally invited to be part of the Death Eater"

"Lucius even told me shortly before the end of my fifth year at Hogwarts that his father had spoken highly of him to the other Death Eaters on one occasion or another in order to integrate him soon as a potionist into their followers, since my talent was quite unique and necessary to them."

"But until the Malfoy's spoke to Voldemort himself and he accepted me into their followers, nothing could be finalized"

"And obviously I know that the only reason the Malfoy's or Lucius' father has not yet spoken to Voldemort to get me into their ranks, even though he could gain a lot of benefits from the Dark Lord by doing so, It is because of my obvious and not at all discreet blind love for Lily"

"All the blood purists and death eaters would consider her a mudblood unworthy of being a witch"

"That is why the Malfoy's had not introduced me to Voldemort yet, as it was known to all Slytherin's that I would never leave Lily Evans and Lucius Malfoy's father considers this a big problem, because in the future it could play against him if I end up betraying them, that would only make Lucius Malfoy's father look bad as the one who introduced me to the Dark Lord"

"That's why until he was sure that I would give my absolute loyalty to the Mortifagi and Voldemort, he wouldn't risk to integrate me completely"

'After all, Voldemort might kill them if they made him unhappy."

Severus decided to get up and leave his room as it was time for breakfast and he was starting to get hungry, he got out of bed, showered, and left his room in the Leaky Cauldron, he went to the tavern and ordered the full breakfast that was included in his temporary rental.

"Rob, a full breakfast," Severus asked coldly and without much emotion to the old bartender at the tavern, a part of him complained about not being more polite or polite when asking for breakfast, but habit won out.

"Good morning Severus, he'll be right out" he greeted and calmly answered the bartender without caring about Severus' lack of politeness, it seems he was already used to that behavior in some wizards.

A few seconds later, "Here is your full breakfast Severus" Rob gave him his breakfast quickly.

"This...isn't this a bit much, if I remember correctly the full breakfast included in the rent is half of what you gave me," Severus asked a bit confused by a large amount of food the bartender gave him, not that he was complaining.

Severus didn't have much money and usually used all his savings for the materials he used in brewing the potions he made, neglecting much his personal hygiene or food.

The money Severus earned came from the potions sold at Hogwarts to students and all of it he generally used for his clothes, school supplies, books of interest, and daily necessities with more materials to brew and sell more potions.

"The extra goes from me Severo, you are getting paler, taller, and skinnier every passing year, you must eat more or you are going to disappear at any moment."

"This..." Severus didn't know how to answer, he had no relationship with the bartender, he used to be just another customer all these years, maybe he did this because of the bad state I arrived at the pub yesterday after Lily and Potter, apparently, the old bartender felt a bit sorry for my state, he seems to be a good man, at least he cares a bit about my health.

"Come on come on, don't stare at me like that. Oh, Severo, here, this is your mail, it arrived today with the owl" the bartender and owner of the Leaky Cauldron told him.

The owls could not enter the rooms since they had no windows, so they left the newspapers, objects, and letters with the owner so that he would then deliver them unless it was something that the owl had to deliver personally, in that case, he would wait until the tenant came out.

"I see, thank you Rob" Severus thanked coldly, but this surprised the owner a bit who raised an eyebrow at the young Severus' thanks.

Severus didn't usually talk much to anyone, he was very dark, cold, dry and lonely, he usually just shook or nodded his head when spoken to unless he had no choice but to answer, ask or request something and although now he sounded just as cold as ever, the fact that he thanked him was something new in the years they had known each other.

Not giving much importance to the bartender's surprise, Severus ate his breakfast along with the correspondence that came to him and then took a seat in a secluded corner where he always used to sit in the Pub, he didn't want to raise too many suspicions about his sudden change yet, if he was going to show changes it had to be a little at a time.