23 What it means to love unreservedly

After the incident on the boat, we went back to the shore immediately, leaving me with no choice but to leave the ocean behind.

I never dared to ask anyone to bring me out again despite longing for more.

Leila and Nadia didn't speak with each other much afterwards. Leila looked heartbroken while Nadia was still carrying many resentments towards her family. Neither of those two left their room much often.

Ramsis and Her Majesty were busy all day with the preparations of the Marisol Festival coming closer. Eric, who had been in Coronia for some time, lent them his help. He was preparing to go back to Florencia soon, so it was also necessary to tie his loose ends before his departure.

Even Mother was busy as some guests from Florencia arrived at the palace. As Duchess Rubin, it was also her obligation to meet with our countrymen.

Just as I thought I would spend all day alone in the palace, Nadia knocked on my door. The girl was fully dressed and ready to go out. Slightly embarrassed, she asked: "Daria, would you mind to sneak out for a bit?"

In the end, I put on the cloak she had brought with her, and we went out through the less crowded west gate as inconspicuously as we could. Because of the preparations, no one paid attention to us when we left, as people were busying themselves, bringing various goods in and out of the palace grounds.

"You do this often?" I asked her.

"No, I don't have to sneak out when I want to go out. But lately, everyone is paying a lot of attention to where I am going. I hate it."

"Where are we going actually?" I knew that she was going out to get a present for Rashan. But I had no idea what Nadia had in mind.

"The blacksmith. I have already placed an order. And today's the day I can confirm the quality and collect it."

I nodded in understanding. The festival was tomorrow night. If it wasn't collected today, it might be too late tomorrow. Coronia's Royal Family looked upset these days. Everyone seemed to carry a heavy burden that I didn't dare to touch upon randomly, so I was glad that there was something I could do for someone in this situation even if it were just accompanying them for a stroll.

"Then let's go and get it."

I knew very well that Nadia could have gone alone, but I think she felt stuffed up and lonely enough to search for a friend. And to her, I might be the only person who understood her feelings to a certain degree. She might think that we were similarly lost.

The blacksmith had her order ready. It was a custom made dagger, but its design was plain. The only eye-catcher was the symbol of a sun engraved on both sides of the hilt.

Nadia weighted the dagger in her hands and scrutinised it. She even threw it once at a target to see its performance. The blade, though it was thrown casually, buried deep into the wooden target. Sharp and lethal. It was not the kind of gift girls usually sent their beloved.

"I thought you would get him a letter opener or so..." I mumbled as she paid the blacksmith with a satisfied smile on her face.

Putting away the sheathed weapon, she said: "Life on the sea is dangerous in many ways. Whenever he comes back, there might be a new scar on his body."

With eyes deep in thought, Nadia kept on telling about the harsh conditions Rashan had to endure.

"I heard the number of pirates and smugglers are increasing. They have become more aggressive in the past few years. Rashan's swordsmanship has increased over time, too. I guess he must have fought many times and just refused to admit it. He never tells me anything that upsets or troubles him. But I know that he didn't choose to go to sea. It is because Mother stripped the Raj clan of their titles and banished them from their homes. Since the Raj refuses to go back to the desert, they set out to sea, constantly travelling in search of a home that isn't there."

She stopped in her tracks, balling her hands into fists.

"He should hate me since I am Mother's child. But he has never blamed me. He even looked up to Elem since they were children. From the day we knew each other, Rashan only has been good to me. And he told me many stories about my dead father, about our clan and our heroic history. He gave me the feeling that I can be proud of who I am. Things mother and brother never cared to tell me. They always say that there is nothing special about us, that I should learn to be more humble."

An adamant light shined in her eyes as she opened up to me. "If one-day Rashan's life is on the line, I hope this dagger can protect him in my stead. At least until I can be by his side."

I had to clarify: "What you said just now, have you thought it through?" Worry washed over me, but Nadia responded with determination.

"I have thought it through these days. I don't care whether or not they approve of Rashan. If he isn't welcome here, then I will go to where he is. I am not afraid to give up this meaningless title, and I am not afraid of the sea. I just want to protect him and share some of his burdens. I want to lessen his scars."

"Nadia..." I was at a loss for words. She was just a little girl in my eyes. Could she fathom the world outside? What does it even mean to leave your family behind? Even I couldn't tell if I would survive. But this determination wasn't that of a child's.

"Don't be so rash, Nadia. Hasn't Her Majesty promised to have a talk? You should use the opportunity to explain your feelings. I just think that your family doesn't know how serious the two of you are."

"Do you believe they will listen?" Nadia, although she doesn't seem much invested in that scenario, I could tell that there was hope in her eyes.

"I believe that they won't want to separate from you as much as you don't want to separate from your family. And most importantly, all they have in mind is your happiness. If being with Rashan is what makes you happy, they will understand."

I was not making up anything. I knew that Nadia's family treasured her. Otherwise, she wouldn't have become such a headstrong and lively child who was able to fall in love this deeply. To be able to present this much love to someone, you must have obtained it from somewhere else in the first place. Nadia has received so much love and care from the people around her, that she was able to love unreservedly.

I was sure that they would understand and support Nadia. Just like Father and Mother encouraged me, their stupid daughter who let someone else take her fiancé, the Royal Family of Coronia would make sure that the youngest princess would live happily.

"That would be great..." Nadia whispered. "I actually don't want to leave my family." With reddened cheeks, she also confessed: "I hope Leila will forgive me one day, I didn't want to make her sad or angry. I was just so jealous. She is always so perfect, and she is much more like Mother than I am, I felt so useless next to her..."

Ah... indeed, Nadia was still a child. The way she looked down reminded me of a little child that finally confessed to its wrongs and is afraid of receiving the punishment. I stroked her head.

"Leila is not angry, just a little sad. If you tell her what you just told me and apologise, I believe she will be delighted!"

"Why are you so sure?"

"Because you guys are family, of course!"

"Will you come with me to apologise?"

"I think the two of you should do that alone..."

"But..." Nadia began to hesitate. I guess she was afraid of the rejection that might follow if she went to apologise. The young princess has seldom apologised for anything she had done in her life.

"Ah!" A light bulb formed in my head. "How about you also choose a present for Leila? She will accept your apology for sure!"

Leila would accept Nadia's apology even without a present. Choosing a gift was actually for Nadia's sake to lessen her guilty conscience.

Nadia stood still and thought about my proposal for some time and then nodded hesitantly. "It is too late to get anything made since tomorrow is the festival. But there is a good jeweller next to the blacksmith we just went to, let's go there and look for a bangle."

"That's a great idea." I smiled and took her hand to lead her back to the jeweller since she still seemed to carry some doubt about the idea. I would like to see them make up before I had to leave.